This blog is firmly anti-AI

I always feel really icky asking or money, but at this point I have no other option. I have just been fired without notice and have no idea how im going to support myself until I can either secure jobseeker government payments, or a new job.

Presenting to you: yet another strattland comic!! Aroallo grace and alloace stratt my most beloved of creatures!!!

Danny finds out he's a clone of one of the Gotham vigilantes, thanks to a random lore drop from his parents.

Problem is, he doesn't know which one, since his parents didn't remember or make a note of it, and the ectoplasm his DNA was dunked in upon half-dying makes any kind of blood work totally corrupted.

He's managed to narrow it down by excluding whichever vigilantes didn't appear until after his birth (creation? birth), but that still leaves too many to make much difference.

Still, he keeps a closer eye on news about Gotham's vigilantes, he's making comparisons, finding similarities, noting differences, between all of them and himself.

With his template being a vigilante but not knowing which, it's hard to attribute these observations to being a template thing, a vigilante thing, or a Danny thing.

He could spend all day analyzing masked faces for any shred of familiarity, but he's already having an identity crisis, and he has better ways to spend his time and bigger things to worry about. So the clone flavored crisis can sit in the back of his mind and wait its turn.

The 'vigilante' is Penny One. He's a clone of Alfred.

One night, early in his career, Bruce was badly injured and called for Alfred to come collect him. Alfred donned a mask and drove over there, gathering him into the car and heading home.

Unfortunately, he'd been startled while preparing Bruce's after patrol snack, and had cut his hand. In his haste to collect Bruce, he hadn't properly wrapped it.

Shortly after they have left the scene, Jack and Maddie come out of the shadows and collect a couple of blood samples.

They go back to their lab and mess around with it, but the only one to produce a viable clone is the one with Alfred's blood, as Bruce had been exposed to Ivy's spores and so his samples were contaminated.

Alfred and Danny propose a new dynamic: He's Just Some Guy To Me

Obviously Alfred would be open to Danny joining the fam, happily, he's a brilliant young man, but he's not going to plead for it like the others might.

Danny has obligations and a life in Amity Park, to being Phantom, just as Alfred has obligations and a life in Gotham, to the Wayne family.

Doesn't mean they won't share some recipes, or the occasional tea (literal or figurative) when their loved ones force them to take breaks.

He refuses to wear the uniform, though. That's a hard pass.

free-to-use “no censorship allowed” badge

—> “the only ship that is bad is censorship” badge

Danny comes to Clockwork after a reveal gone wrong/GIW/what have you.

Clockwork realizes that the only way to stabilize him is for them to consume his core and nurture him until his body can heal. Danny is understandably hesitant, but Clockwork is the one trustworthy adult in his life so he agrees.

Around this same time, Pariah Dark escapes the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep again. How he does is reader’s choice. Plasmius let him out? He broke out on his own due to incorrect sealing the last time? (You cannot tell me it was just a key in a lock.)

Whatever it is, he’s out, but he doesn’t have the ring and crown anymore so he’s a bit more lucid this time. Still half feral, but he’s not instantly going to lay siege to the Realms this time.

He notices there’s something odd going on with his coremate, Clockwork, so he seeks out Long Now to investigate.

Meanwhile, Clockwork is back in their lair, none the wiser about this due to their closeness with Pariah making their Sight surrounding him foggy unless they use their instruments and specifically check on him, which they have forgotten to do their periodic check due to brooding and caring for Danny’s core. So, their long-estranged husband that they may-or-may-not have betrayed and shoved in a sarcophagus a few dozen centuries ago arriving on their doorstep is a huge shock to their system.

Pariah meanwhile is furious, not because of the ago-old betrayal, he had gotten over that long ago. No, his spouse has cheated on him and is carrying someone else’s child! (An honest mistake, carrying a new core and nurturing an injured child ghost’s core look identical on the surface but different on closer inspection).

Clockwork is quick to assure him this is not the case and show him what is really going on, that Clockwork has adopted a Halfa child who reminded them of him and the child, Danny, was injured badly. And, Ancients, Clockwork had nearly forgotten about Pariah’s protection Obsession until he saw it spark in his eyes as he was caught up on Danny’s situation.

Now, Clockwork has a half-feral, overprotective husband whom they have to hide looking after them and Danny’s injured core draining their energy far more than they expected. Thankfully, due to their brooding, their lair is already giving off major Stay Away vibes. So, if they can just stay off the Observants’ radar for a while, they should be able to have Danny reborn in peace.

How they’re going to explain Pariah’s presence to Danny is a different matter…

Which might ping the Observants' radar because, you know, if they didn't know about Pariah Dark escaping, they certainly know now that he was summoned. So then Pariah is in DC, maybe he's trapped for whatever reason in the dimension or he just can't easily get out of it at that very moment and that means Clockwork kinda just, has to flee for a bit to both find him and avoid the Observants or something?

Which would be DCxDP because Pariah Dark, Ghost King and very known tyrant gets summoned into the Realm and obviously the Justice League isn't going to sit idly by and let him do whatever he's trying to achieve here.

So, Pariah is trying to find a natural portal because he can only create his own with the ring and crown, which Constantine has noticed are notably absent. He has to fight the Justice League the whole way to, let say Gotham because it seems like it would be a thin spot. It’d be horrible if he got summoned in California and he has to fight across the entire continental US to get there in the hopes of finding a natural portal (or Clockwork finding him somehow).

Meanwhile, Clockwork is freaking out. They pack as many of their instruments as they can safely carry and get the heck out of dodge before the Observants arrive to question them. They have a husband to find and a child they cannot risk.

They’ve been fighting the ghost king for days. He appears to be virtually indestructible, so they’re scrambling just to keep him from achieving whatever his goal is. They’d done everything they could to slow him down, but he’d still reached Gotham relatively unharmed—much to the JL’s displeasure.

Just as the giant stepped surprisingly carefully into the city proper, an unearthly voice cried, “Time out!”

Reality seemed to glitch, and Wonder Woman found herself with a strange glowing gear medallion around her neck. She looked around to see that Superman, Batman, and Constantine also wore them, as did the Ghost King. Everything else appeared frozen, even mid-motion.

“Chime! Thank the Core, you found me,” Pariah Dark said.

Wonder Woman looked up to see the Ghost King finish shrinking down to more human proportions, though he still towered over the big three by at least a foot. He stepped over to embrace a smaller ghost in a purple cloak. Wonder Woman blinked a couple time; if these two weren’t ghosts, she would have thought the new arrival pregnant from the sizable bulge in their ghostly tail.

“Apologies, Beloved, I had to evade our little eyeball problem before I could fetch you, and this realm had a fair bit of dimensional static around it from the many tears it has had to repair.”

The ghost king snarled. “Did those bastards hurt either of you?”

The ghost patted his cheek. “Worry not, they’re still scrambling around within our territory searching for us.”

“Holy shit, you’re the Ancient Master of Time,” Constantine said. His face went white as a sheet as he stared at the two ghosts.

The newly dubbed Ancient Master of Time and the Ghost King Pariah Dark both turned to look at him.

“Hellblazer,” the cloaked ghost greeted, “Wonder Woman, Superman, Batman, apologies for any trouble my husband has caused. He’s been highly protective of me and our son since he was released, and I can’t imagined getting summoned to an entirely different dimension with no way to get himself back was easy for anyone involved.”

“Your…son?” Constantine asked nervously.

The Time Master’s hand fell to their swollen tail. “Fear not, Hellblazer, he is a Dead child I took a shine to, not a core spark. I am merely nurturing his core after he was grievously wounded by his birth parents.”

There was a collective widening of eyes at that.

“Wait, your majesty, all this time you were only trying to get back to the Infinite Realms?”

The Ghost King looked annoyed. “Yes! If your little heroes would have taken the time to ask me my goal, I would have made it a lot faster instead of fighting you all the way across this continent.”

The four heroes looked abashed.

“Actually, husband, it is fortunate you were summoned to this realm. Phantom is still half human—he will need to exist at least for a time in the human realm. And we are, to put it bluntly, refugees, I’m afraid. Now that the Observants are aware you have escaped the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep, they will be rallying the Ancients to return you to it—sanity returning be damned. I fear they will not give us room to explain ourselves since I have seemingly hidden your escape from them.”

“You didn’t even know I escaped until I showed up on your doorstep,” Pariah argued.

“Yet I did provide you refuge, as they will see it. I fear our best chance is to hide out in the Human Realm until Phantom is reborn. Despite his youth, he carries significant influence in the Realms.”

The Time Master turned to look at the heroes. “I do hate to ask this of you, with all the trouble we’ve inadvertently cause in your Realm, but with your permission, we would like to take refuge in this Realm for a time, until our peers calm enough to listen to reason.”

“How do we know you won’t try to take it over, as King Dark tried once before?” Wonder Woman asked.

“I hold not the Crown of Fire nor the Ring of Rage—I do not have the power for such a feat,” King Dark said.

“You have the Master of Time at your side,” Constantine said pointedly.

“I have no desire for conquest. I think I speak for my both my husband and myself when I say this, our only priority at the moment is our family.” They rubbed the bump in their tail. “All we ask is refuge until our son is reborn and comes into his own once again. We will not harm anyone in this Realm unless they try to harm us first, and even then we will only act in self-defense.” They cast pariah a narrow-eyed look. “Right, Beloved?”

Pariah Dark grumbled a bit then said, “It is as they say.“

The Big Three looked at each other in askance. “We must discuss this,” Wonder Woman said.

“That is perfectly reasonable. We will surrender ourselves into your custody for the time being, until you make your decision. Does that sound reasonable?” The Time Master included King Dark in their glance around.

Pariah Dark looked like he did not want to do that, but he sighed, the fire in his hair dimming to a more subdued glow. “Yes, I suppose that is acceptable, if you think it best, Beloved.” He turned to the Justice League just as the Time Master tapped a button atop their staff.

Pariah Dark raised his hands in surrender and put them behind his head. “We surrender ourselves into your custody,” he said, voice echoing throughout the battle field.

The other heroes, suddenly unfrozen, stopped mid attack or drew up short in confusion.

The Big Three and Constantine exchanged a nod. Wonder Woman stepped forward. “We accept your surrender.”

—

That led them to the Watchtower, where they placed the two ghosts in anti-meta holding cells while the Justice League discussed what to do.

“I’m sorry, I’m still confused,” Green Arrow said. “This time ghost showed up, who is apparently his pregnant wife—”

“Spouse,” Superman corrected.

“—and what, he just willingly surrendered?”

“It appears we neglected necessary recon on this mission. We assume his goal was conquest or genocide, as with Trigon or other beings of the Ghost King’s caliber. However, his goal seems to have been much more benign,” Batman said.

“Care to repeat that in English?” Green Lantern (Guy) said.

“He was trying to get home,” Superman said. “It appears he targeted Gotham as he called it ‘a thin spot between the Realms’, and when we reached Gotham proper, the Master of Time, who yes, is his pregnant spouse, appeared and asked for refuge.”

“So, their own people are after them, and they want us to protect them.”

“The Time Master indicated that our dimension has a fair bit of ‘dimensional static,’ as they called it. Apparently, this conceals us from most of their kind.”

“Can we trust them?” Nightwing asked Constantine.

Constantine fiddled with the unlit cigarette in his hands. “I don’t rightly know. The records said that Pariah Dark was a mad tyrant who tried to conquer the ghost and human realms. His claim of not being as powerful without the Kingly Items, rings true. But we saw ourselves, he’s still incredibly dangerous. The one I’m more worried about is the Ancient of Time.”

“Why? They seem perfectly friendly,” Zatanna said.

“They’re the most fucking powerful ghost in the Infinite Realms, and they’re morally neutral, so to speak. If they’ve personally involved themself in something like this, then it’s super damn important for the timelines. That doesn’t mean they won’t change their mind on a whim.”

“What of the child they’re supposedly nurturing?”

“I’ve heard whispers in the magic community of a powerful being called Phantom. He’s supposedly been around since ancient times but appears to take the form of a young teen. The fact that he’s the Time Master’s adoptive child could indicate he’s younger. They’re saying he’s half human? That’s huge. Half-ghosts are inordinately rare. The three of them combined could easily wipe out this dimension.” Constantine sighed. “However, I have no reason to believe they’re lying.”

“Sounds as if the best course of action is to put it to a vote,” Wonder Woman said. “Those in favor of allowing the royal family of the Infinite Realms to take refuge in our dimension during this time of unrest, raise your hand.”

Flash noted down the number of raised hands, the Big Three and surprisingly the majority of the JLD.

“All opposed?”

Fewer hands raised.

The time master had tasked the form of a willowy individual, appearing perhaps 30, with brown skin and long black hair braided down their back. Their legs poking out from under their tunic were oddly emaciated. Their distended belly made them appear perhaps 6-7 months pregnant.

The Ghost king was still a giant if a man, though perhaps a bit shorter than his smaller ghost form. He had tanned skin, bushy black hair, and vibrant green eyes. He had shed his armor, leaving him in a tight black athletic shirt, showing off impressive muscle and a bulky frame. His pants appeared more like red dress pants.

The Time Master noticed them first. “I do hope these disguises are adequate for our stay.”

Wonder Woman smiled. “I take it you are already aware of our decision.”

“Yes. We are most grateful for your hospitality,” the Ghost King said in a tone that made Diana think the time Master might have told him to say that.

Batman opened the cell door, and the two royals stepped out.

The Time Master held out their hand to shake. “I do apologize for our rudeness earlier; nurturing Phantom has been taking more from me than I anticipated. I am called Clockwork, though while I am hiding in your realm, you may call me Cassius.”

Batman shook their hand with a grunt that Diana was pretty sure was positive, followed by the other four.

“You clearly know my name, but for now you may call me Anton.”

Do either of you have a surname you would like on your records? Our associate Oracle is working on them as we speak.

“We have decided on Black. It seemed…appropriate.” The royals shared a smirk like they were sharing an inside joke.

“Very well. We will get the records to you within a couple days, Batman said.

“Do you plan to stay in Gotham?” Superman asked.

“My spouse thinks it would be best, as the curses should shield our ecto-signatures.”

—

So it was, the pair was set up in Gotham. Cassius shortly after taking their disguise, disclosed that they required a wheelchair while in disguise, as they could walk short distances but they had, in their husband’s words, “the coordination of a dead fish.”

The Justice League had to do little from there. The pair each took legitimate jobs in Gotham. Cassius was hired on at the library Barbara Gordon worked at as an assistant. Anton got a job in a cafe of all places, baking bread and pastries overnight. No one asked how he knew how.

The pair did as the Justice League had hoped and kept a low profile. About eight months into their stay, the big three got notice from Anton that Cassius had given birth, and they were inviting the core members of the league, as well as Constantine and Zatanna, to a small gathering to celebrate. They asked that they come in civvies, noting they were already aware of identities but would keep them private, and that they could bring their spouses partners.

So, Diana arrived on the doorstep of an unremarkable brownstone in Old Gotham on a Saturday evening. Anton Black opened the door.

“Welcome, Miss Prince, please come in. The others have already arrived.”

She followed the hulking man into a small living room where several of her colleagues were sat around a carpet where two elementary aged children were playing.

Diana blinked at the scene. “I thought you were having only a son?”

Cassius looked up, chuckling. “Yes, it seems young Phantom became unstable due to his injuries because he himself had already consumed his mirror sister’s core. However, because of his youth, all he could do was keep her stable. I was unaware of this at the time, because Phantom had become difficult to See due to my closeness with him. So, we were both quite shocked when two little ones were reborn.

“Both are older than they appear but have taken younger forms due to their previous injuries,” Anton said.

The little boy, presumably Phantom, who appeared around 8, pointed at Constantine while looking up at Cassius. “Baba, why is that man so stinky?”

There were surprised laughs all around. Constantine looked offended. “Hey! I showered just before coming here.”

“He’s talking about your soul. Your many soul contracts have given you a noticeable scent to ghosts,” Anton said.

The girl, Eleanor, peaked out from under the blanket Cassius had draped over their shoulders like a cloak.

“Stinky,” she said vehemently, then hid away again.

If Amity Park has one rule for survival, it's commit to the bit. Whose bit?

Everyone's.

You go to Ember's concerts even though there's a better than even chance of being hypnotized. When Technus turns up you obligingly shriek about how terrifying unfeeling machines are. If Boxy's around, you put up a spirited but ultimately futile fight to protect your precious, valuable boxes.

You confirm it when your neighbor tells the GIW that the ghost went thataway, officer. Phantom says the weird eye-ghosts that are stalking him are delusional and he is not an authority figure of any kind, you agree that he'd be the one to know best. The Fentons are ranting about their latest weapons, you oooh and ahhh over their brilliant creation.

Your eyes glow because of special effect contacts you're testing, anyone who knows you can testify to that.

Don't run, don't break the rules, and heaven help you if a ghost decides you've disrespected their obsession. It doesn't matter how much time passes, they might not chase you, but they will remember the insult.

Ghosts are never more dangerous than when their obsession is disrupted. So smile and nod, or shriek and cower, and play the role you're cast in. You'll get out alright.

**

Gotham natives have a word for people who play along with a rogue's plan instead of getting out at the first available opportunity: morons. The closer you are to a rogue, the greater the danger, and none of them will spare you just because you decided to 'see where this was going'.

Ghosts don’t just converge one (1) rouge though—every rouge that hurt one if their “toys” is on The List and Boxy is incredibly dangerous when it comes to dropping industrial weight boxes on rogues. Lunch Lady is assaulting Rogues in a meat suit and checks up on ‘the toys’ by giving them sandwiches with dietary restrictions in mind. No one knows why adults keep disappearing while kids claim that a pirate kid stole them. Ember may or may not be out-doing Music Meister rn and entrancing the current residents and co in Arkham to mutilate each other.

Skulker shows off Joker’s ‘pelt’ while cackling about a crocodile being next, and Technus livestreams it. And the other’s doing their thing. Oracle Cannot get Technus out of her system (he’s here to Be The Problem for Rogues. No help for those assholes!) Fright Knight is being a Massive Pain for Scarecrow. I find the idea of even Spectra and Bertrum getting in on the action for Misery Feeding as a fun add on.

Only ones universally spared are Ivy and Harley as ‘that one’s related to an Ancients’ cousin (Ivy) and the other is her wife (they are still girlfriends but by ghost standards? Married)

Note: Bats cannot intervene as Tim? young Justice mission, Dick is in Space visiting Kori, Jason has Ellie distracting him with street kids (vengeance for the lives lost in ant form is welcome). Duke? Incapacitated by ecto-induced Migraine. Damian? Supersons mission. Steph? Helping Cass in Hong Kong tracing a gang’s new drug. Batman? JL mission, undercover elsewhere regarding a human trafficking ring.

Babs only has her birds of prey, who are Occupied—Canary on leave with a pregnancy most notably—Cat woman is somehow not being targeted atm and any attempt at intervention puts her as the target for being hunted by Sulker.

Professor Pyg is getting his ass handed to him by a swarm of enraged ectopuses and experimented ecto-wildlife.

Batwoman has not been able to be reached. Largely as she’s arguing the DEO over a case’s jurisdiction; and no one is clear on if any known exorcism would work on what largely seems to be interdimensional beings—possibly 4th-7th dimensional—who are retaliating for the death of their ‘toy’ ‘playmate’ ‘friend’ ‘favorite neighbor’ ect., with targets being only Known Mass Murderers aka Gotham Rogues, it is Low Priority.

DEO is of the opinion Gotham Fucked Around and is in the Find Out stage of toying with extradimensional being’s “toys” that happen to be living.

Like that’s such a loaded way to feel bcus yes he was able to figure out how to kill the astrophage, yes he was in fact the man for the job, yes they were right to send him.

But!! It’s that, mixed with the fact that the guy who even helped him get to this step is still unconcious or dead for all he knows!! And he has no way of knowing how to get this to the other planet it needs to go to if its the latter!!

taumoeba (obviously)

instructions on how to use taumoeba (obviously)

50+ hrs of unedited footage of Grace fucking up a bunch of stuff in the ship

so much info about Eridian language

1700+ hrs of unedited footage of Grace and Rocky fucking up a bunch of shit in the ship

Cannot emphasize how much info on the eridian sentence structure there is here

a weirdass knit sweater pattern that takes people weeks to realize is for Rocky

literally hundreds of pages of Grace just describing Eridian linguistic history which like honestly isn't even his field why should we even listen to this guy- (hes the only one to ever fucking met an intelligent alien Dave. we'll take him at his word)

Why the Goldilocks Zone is for Idiots Part 2: Biological Diversity all across the Petrova Line (subtitled "We haven't found them yet BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN THEY DONT FUDHING EXIST-")

what are essentially just those reaction videos "Alien watches Legally Blonde for the first time" "Alien gives thoughts on movie Cats (2019)" "You'll never believe what this Alien thinks of the movie Fantastic Mr. Fox"

Grace's modified cardigan charts because someone was asking for them on his Ravelry and he never actually got around to posting them

(people have already fully recreated this cardigan just months after his launch. but they appreciate it)

very respective, kind eulogies for everyone who died in this mission (Grace AND Rocky's crew)

a lace shawl pattern inspired by the petrova line with a beaded fringe. knitters everywhere weep in despair because those instructions are gOD AWFUL, the man had 0 (zero) test knitters AND THERES NO PICTURES FUCK

Rocky make Grace cringe compilation statement

So are

colostomy bags

Diapers

insulin pumps

Oxygen systems

rollators

hearing aids

compression garments

prosthetics

FREEDOM AIDS

- service animals

- noise cancelling headphones/ear defenders

- wheelchair attachments

- fidgets

IT’S DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH YALL

And you're like well. I'd rather trust myself to the fate of the world than anyone else. And I'd rather not let anyone else suffer the Torment Nexus just because of my own feelings. That seems kinda selfish. Alright sure.

So you enter the Torment Nexus. Each level has you pressing buttons like, [abduct innocent scientists to your vat: chances of humanity's survival increases by 0.005%] [everyone disliked that] [congrats! your moral goodness has decreased!].

The later levels get even worse. [blow up Antarctica: chances of humanity's survival increases by, ummm who knows ????] [total humans negatively affected: ????] [congrats! you're an ecoterrorist!].

Then you reach the final level. It reads: [through this door you'll break the news to your friend that he needs to die.] And you're like, wait he has to die??? I have to tell him?? But that's incredibly fucked up. After I went through the Torment Nexus as well. But it's the last level. So oh well. I can do this I suppose. Rather me than anyone else.

You enter the level and you friend is standing next to a cliff. You go over to him and say, hey this really fucking sucks but I've just learnt you need to jump off the cliff. Then we might be able to save humanity for real though. Maybe billions of people can survive if this works.

You signed up for this. Not did you agree to enter the torment nexus, you walked up to it and got on while everyone was still debating. You bribed the guards to get into the torment nexus. You looked around and realised "damn, none of you will get through level one of the torment nexus, guess I'll have to do it myself"

And then you're finally through the torment nexus and it's like [congrats! You've finished The Torment Nexus! Did you win? Find out in 26 (twenty six) years!]

So now you gotta make sure that all (most) (some) of you actually make it the next 26 years. Which is when you get hit with [bonus level: prison break! Unlocks Hard Mode: keep earth alive while on the run] so you just sigh and try to kidnap new scientists and bribe government officials to share food and please not throw bombs at each other

“Did she just write ‘yeti doctor’?”

Bruce’s head snaps up at Steph’s voice, looking once again at the letter on the screen. “Dear Mister Wayne,” it reads, and that is where normalcy ends. “Thank you so much for taking in Danny, I was so worried when he had to escape our parents.” Which is already an extremely worrying sentence. Made even more worrisome with the fact that there is no Danny currently residing in his manor.

His family is in chaos. Tim has three screens in front of him, ranting about living firewalls to Barbara, while Dick leans over his shoulder.

Alfred has lifted a thick three-ring binder out of the care package that this Jasmine Nightingale has sent them, and is flipping through it. Apparently this binder contains all of the medical, psychological, and cultural information needed to make sure that Danny’s species can thrive. Because the missing teen that should be in his manor is not human, but some sort of human/ghost hybrid.

“Father, I think this warrants an emergency meeting with the Justice League.” His youngest says. “There is currently a government agency hunting Cujo and Daniel, citing laws that directly counter the Meta Human Protection Acts. This cannot stand.” Cujo, the green glowing, 10 foot ghostdog that delivered the package and letter this morning by density shifting into the dining room during breakfast. Damian was of course attached.

“Uh, Alfred?” Duke starts form where he and Jason have been emptying the care package, “there’s a huge first aid kit here, but most of it is glowing.” Jason, of course, is turning the high tech laser pistols over in his hands, getting a feel for the handling and grip.

Bruce let’s his eyes skim over the letter again, his eyes catching on words like “Ghost King”, “Infinite Realms”, and “vivisection”. “I know it takes Danny a while to open up,” the letter reads, “so I’m beyond grateful that he feels safe enough with you.” Except he doesn’t, because Danny is not here. Somewhere out on the streets of Gotham is a half dead teenager, hurt and alone. And Bruce didn’t know. Didn’t know any of it until his sister sent him a care package, because apparently this kid has lied to his sister that he’s safe, that he found somewhere to stay.

He doesn’t notice the sudden hush behind him until Jason breaks it. “Is that fucking Lazarus Water?!” Bruce lowers his head back into his hands.

“I will prepare a room for the young master.” Alfred sniffs as his footsteps go towards the elevator. “I’m finding this kid.” Jason answers, leaving towards the lockers “Wait, Little Wing! I’m coming with!” Well, at least Dick can hopefully keep Jason in line. He prays to Rao this doesn’t mean he has to deal with a half-ghost, immensely powerful teen that struggles with Pit Rage.

From @geekyrie in the notes: "Bruce's first order of business is finding the teen he's supposed to take care of. The second order of business is most likely to ground him for giving him a heart attack, probably."

---

All in all, Danny’s life is going pretty well. Sure, he’s homeless on the streets of Gotham, but he hasn’t seen a white van in a few weeks, he can phase into gyms to use the showers, and he just found a coupon for a free fro-yo! So, yeah, life is great!

Which is of course when weird things start happening to him. He should have known it wouldn’t last. He’s just enjoying his fro-yo – blueberry, hell yeah – when a car passes him, breaks with tires squealing, and drives onto the sidewalk, coming to a stop uncomfortably close. It’s a nice car though, very sleek. Danny wonders what kind of engine it has, and if someone would notice if he took a look under the hood.

He never gets that chance. Instead a tall man with broad shoulders steps out of the car. He looks mad, and he looks specifically at Danny. Whelp, better keep moving then! Danny focuses hard on the next bite, looking down, and starts power-walking out of there.

“Daniel Thomas Nightingale-Wayne!”

Wait, what? He looks back to the tall man in the suit, and yeah, he’s still looking at Danny. More people stopped at the commotion, aaaaaaand great, here come the phone cameras. Tall man is walking towards him and Danny really doesn’t want to cause a scene, right now. Also the man is familiar. Somewhere.

“Where have you been?” oh, the man is still talking to him, “We’ve been looking all over for you. You can’t just disappear for six days.”

Again, what? “I’m sorry?” He tries, “also, I think you ha-”

“I appreciate the apology, chum, but you’re still grounded.”

“Wha- Grounded?!”

The man, wait – Wayne? Bruce Wayne?! Why would billionaire and himbo Brucie Wayne think he’s one of his kids? Mister Wayne crouches down, not caring about the dirty sidewalk and places his hands on Danny’s shoulders. “Sweetheart,” he starts and Danny absolutely does not melt, nope, “your sisters have been worried sick. Jason is stress-baking, Tim hasn’t slept in three days, and Damian has been – well you know Damian doesn’t show it, but I know he’s been worried.”

Danny is so confused. And now confused and slightly guilty. He doesn’t even know these people! Does he?

“Now come on, get in the car. I think Alfred was making one of your favorites for dinner tonight, and you can call your sister when we get to the manor.” Wayne’s hand on his shoulder is gentle and warm as he guides him, nothing like Vlad’s bruising grip.

“You talked to Jazz?” He asks as he’s deposited into the passenger’s side.

“Oh yes,” Wayne says, with a weird twinkle in his eye, “she’s been waiting to talk to you.”

And oh, oh no, that does not sound good at all.

---

Tim casually walking into the Wayne Manor after escaping his kidnappers four days ago. With a concussion and a sprained ankle he hitchhiked through four states, created two new alias’s, solved a missing persons case and discovered a new cave system under Gotham along the way.

Tim: Who would pay? My parents are dead? And even if they were alive, Drake Industries doesn’t pay ransoms.

Bruce: I’m??? Your legal guardian??? I pay ransoms?? You’ve seen me pay ransoms for your brothers??

Tim: . . .