Safe, Sane, and Sexy

u can be boiling alive in your mind for months and then on a random tuesday ur head gets so clear and life is worth living again and you're like damn what was all that about then

Would you still love me if I did the worm

going to the corner store to get more corners

this used to be the oldest bar in texas until they built an older one

hey guys im making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap wake me up in 5 minutes so i can flip them over

Randy its been five minutes flip your sticks

snnnnzzzzz

10 years ago

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see

this is worst than finding out from a castiel meme

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

Ifgasm orgasm thengasm elsegasm

first name PLACE last name HOLDER / parents didn't NAME ME till I got OLDER

Floccinaucinihinipilification

Sorry I panicked

it's ok!!! theres no right or wrong way to play hi, and I'm having fun playing hi with you!!

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.