I'm a man the same way Kraft Singles are Cheese

had a beautiful moment of connection. my 14 month old neice was pointing at my beverage and looking like she expected something, so I said “yes baby, this is mugs zero sugar root beer. very good, baby.” but she just jabbed her finger more insistently, and went ‘woof wooof woof’. and this is when I looked closer and saw the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. I almost teared up. I said, “yes baby, that’s the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. woof woof woof. I love you small baby.”

had a beautiful moment of connection. my 14 month old neice was pointing at my beverage and looking like she expected something, so I said “yes baby, this is mugs zero sugar root beer. very good, baby.” but she just jabbed her finger more insistently, and went ‘woof wooof woof’. and this is when I looked closer and saw the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. I almost teared up. I said, “yes baby, that’s the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. woof woof woof. I love you small baby.”

No no youre onto something

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling

the fertility collapse is because people think you only become an adult at 30. the loneliness crisis is because governments have adopted the policy position that it's a problem when people have friends. and because everyone who matters moves all the time (like how nobles had to spend half the year in versailles to stop them from building regional power bases that would be inconvenient for the king) and diversity erodes social trust (like how whole foods is aware of which properties to optimize for in its workforce to minimize the risk of unionization). why else would governments take it as a problem when people have friends? well, a friend is someone you can break the law with

notable how many words the english language contains which mean both 'group of friends' and 'criminal organization'

Transgender robots

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.

found some fairy stickers from the creator of the really popular puppy girl line stickers and kinda floored ive never seen them around before