i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time
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i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time
for the uninitiated

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Wait, the dog days are over? The dog days are done? And no one told me 😰?!
S-should I run @saintemry 😨?
i think you’d better 😰 ohhh shit here they come
🐎🐎🐎
Oh no 😨 I havta get to my mother, my father, my children, my sisters and brothers quickly 🏃🏿♂️
Dude you left all your love and your longing behind, tidy up after yourself please
Can I carry it with me? I want to survive 🥺
The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?
Came back bc fic idea wiggled into my mind
Essentially a Supernatural x Hazbin Hotel crossover, taking some inspiration from @kitsunesongs' Double Entry AU, specifically Fatherverse Lucifer again.
If y'all don't know Supernatural lore, I'll explain some to you because some of it seems VERY similar to Double Entry's fatherverse, with smaller key differences. (On that note, this may be spoilers for Double Entry so READ THAT FIRST, GO READ IT, GO!)
In Supernatural, instead of Roo, God wages war against Amara, his opposite, who cannot resist destroying anything he creates. Like Double Entry, God locks Amara away, except in Supernatural he leaves the lock with his most beloved angel, Lucifer. This lock is a Mark, and God has essentially cursed Lucifer to be slowly corrupted by Amara's influence over time.
It is this influence that ultimately led to Lucifer's rage, envy, and disgust when God created humanity and told the angels to bow to them. It's this influence that led to Lucifer refusing to bow and leading a rebellion. Those feelings would have still been there most likely, but nowhere near as deep without Amara whispering into his ear.
NOW. Back to the story idea.
Alastor gets transported into the Supernatural universe as a disembodied soul in Hell, but this is in the wake of his original universe being completely destroyed. Not because of Roo like he and many others had been expecting, but because God was frustrated and just decided to destroy EVERYTHING. A whole universe, gone. Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggi, Lilith, his MOTHER, they're all gone, as though they never existed to begin with.
Alastor only survived because Roo liked him. And Roo liked him because unlike others, who she could only influence, whisper to, nudge along, she could SPEAK with him, and he could speak back without being corrupted. Almost as if he was made to be able to do so.
Perhaps he was, and this was God's mistake. Because it left Alastor with abilities that essentially allowed him to be a multidimensional blindspot, so long as he was trained to do it. And oh, of COURSE Roo trained him to do it. Anything that could potentially fuck over her jailor at some point in the future.
Unbeknownst to her, it's her teachings that allowed him to escape. And it is her teachings that allowed him to eventually reconstruct a body. Not the one he had in Hell previously, apparently the rules in this new universe don't allow appearances like that yet, but he could reconstruct his human body. It was a slow process, of course, but that meant very little, because time was extended in Hell, and the place seemed rather... barren. Nothing around to disturb him.
Once his body is constructed, he wanders around, and finds he doesn't quite like how THIS Hell is structured. Naturally, he does something about it, starts moving things around, shifting things, and in his slow exploration and organization of this empty Hell, he eventually comes across a Cage. One with a being so immense, so bright, he instantly realized based on biblical scripture who he was looking at.
The Light Bringer. The Morning Star. The Serpent.
A marked being whose mind is being warped... Well, lucky for him that Alastor can do something about that, with all his teachings. Of course, this Lucifer still thinks humans are filthy unworthy creatures, and Alastor truthfully kind of wants to punt his stupid face regardless of how enormous and unfathomable he is, (which honestly Lucifer is a little stunned by, what the fuck is wrong with this human??) but, well, Lucifer wasn't wrong for being angry at being told to submit.
Alastor's from the Jim Crow era south, he can understand the ugly feeling of being told you are LESSER, that you must bow your head to another. Lucifer just has a nasty problem of falling a little too close to the tree, because like God he ALSO seems to have an egomaniac problem that makes him think OTHERS should be considered lesser... (And Alastor can see that this attitude was exacerbated by the literal curse that God placed on his own damn kid, Yikes.)
Luckily, Lucifer's in a cage, and Alastor has all the time in the world to poke him back into having a brain. In fact, he has more time than he would have in the previous universe, given that time is MUCH slower in this Hell.
(Alastor could have totally just left him, but Lucifer is currently the only other being in Hell, and unfortunately Alastor already has a taste for Annoying Lucifer Specifically, even if this is a different version of his favorite mockery victim.)
This is essentially a canon divergence that leads to Supernatural verse getting a more Hazbin edge to it, in that Alastor "discovers" a way for holy and demonic beings to make themselves bodies without having to steal it from others (leading to a Hazbin Lucifer appearance), his direct influence leads to Lucifer creating the Seven Deadly Sins instead of the Four Princes of Hell, and Lucifer ABSOLUTELY becomes a major simp because Alastor Does Not Leave Him Alone, and he is, unfortunately, extremely charmed by this impossible human, despite all the teasing and mockery.
Because of Alastor being a blindspot, no one sees that he's essentially completely derailed all plans of the Winchesters being used as divine flesh suits and shattered any prophesies by way of giving Lucifer the ability to make whatever body he wants. Alastor's existence in the universe stops a lot of things really! He even prevents his birth in this universe by killing his shitbag father before he gets his horrible grubby hands on his mother. No doubles, and his mother remains safe and happy!
At some point he does tell Supernatural!Lucifer about the other universe, about how God simply decided to destroy everything on a whim, including this other version of Lucifer and Lucifer's daughter— and S!Lucifer quickly picks up that Alastor is genuinely upset about the destruction of this daughter. Because she shall NEVER exist in this universe.
To which S!Lucifer is like "bet" and decides he's going to get this human pregnant the second he escapes this cage. In fact, does he need to escape his cage, they could totally do it through the bars, c'mon darling he'll SO give you that baby girl, ask and you shall receive—
(Alastor also mentions other Lucifer's failures as a parent and S!Lucifer is like "I could so do better" but that definitely comes with a LOT of discussions and arguments and convincing.)
If the knowledge of creating bodies is from Alastor who shares it with Lucifer, does Heaven know how to create their own bodies? Is Jim Novak still going to be possessed by Castiel?
Alastor doesn't really spread this information past Lucifer and a few loyal demons, and none of them are going to be spreading the word either. Heaven at this point does not know about this method and that's by design. If they knew Lucifer could make himself a perfect vessel, they would know that their prophesy has already been ruined.
Basically, it's only revealed when Lucifer manages to break out of his cage, and he's possessing a body that does NOT look 100% human. Again, he's taking a more Hazbin appearance, so he's got the sharp teeth, black claws, porcelain skin, red eyes. I also like the idea of him coming out in a blue ringleader outfit like his blue one from last year's pride merch, ready to put on a show.
Honestly I want him to look clearly inhuman, but also festive and fun, something that will come completely out of left field to the Winchesters and the angels. He's also going to be a lot different personality-wise because he does not want to actually end humanity anymore. Alastor is human, his daughter is half-human, and he very much truly loves them both. (Also his new body lets him taste human food like normal and damn okay humans know what the fuck they're doing clearly, this shit is FIRE)
Honestly, Lucifer is just going to be an extremely radical conservationist. His biggest gripe is just that he loves the earth, he thinks it's god's greatest creation, and he wants to preserve its beauty. And yeah, a lot of humans RUIN that, and that pisses him the fuck off, but there's ALSO a lot of humans who agree and want to preserve the earth too.
He's the Devil, silver-tongued and all. He just needs to shift to a more human look, make himself an identity, and it won't be long before he's the biggest name in green energy and conservation efforts. He doesn't need to take over humanity by force or violence, sure it would be faster but it would also leave scars.
He's still gonna kill a lot of people though, of course. Like, SO many politicians and CEOs across the world are dropping like flies, or getting possessed by demons, or being replaced or jailed. Charlie's disapproval isn't really gonna stop that, sorry sweetie, daddy's trying to save the planet and this was honestly the most peaceful way.
Wait whoops I went on a tangent here I'm sorry!!! Yes Jimmy still gets possessed by Castiel, but after the discovery that human possession isn't needed, he does let Jimmy go and gains the knowledge to create a body in a deal with Alastor.
Castiel just makes a copy of Jimmy because that's the body he's currently most familiar with. So Jimmy's got a new twin brother now I guess lmao. And he gets to go back home to his wife and daughter! (Who are understandably upset.)
So in this AU, is Azazel like, not out there killing moms and making creepy children? If so, how did the Winchesters get into hunting? If not, how is Azazel not digesting in Alastor's stomach? Is Azazel created at all given that Lucifer made the 6 other Sins instead of the 4 Princes of Hell?
The thing is, Chuck is basically the director here. His story includes the Winchesters coming into existence, and when the 4 Princes aren't created, he's going to 1st, assume this is just a minor divergent path that might have had something to do with the fact that he just destroyed a universe with 7 Sins, perhaps this was his own doing, he WAS a bit distracted, and 2nd, make some adjustments to make sure the Winchesters happen no matter what. And they would have, of course. It's not like there wouldn't have been a million constigency plans if Azazel didn't pan out. There were a lot of constingencies for a LOT of the plan, not just Azazel.
@that-hazbin @periguita
...to be honest, I now have the mental image of Heaven having no clue that this is going down. Meaning that they're operating according to the original Plan, whereas hell is - mainly not. The movers and pushers, that is, meaning that Azazel, who I've always considered as - well, frankly, not that big when it comes to the hierarchy of hell, still operates his off-the-books smite-worthy scheme. Meaning that things keep proceeding As Planned (as per canon) until the Cage is unlocked.
...at which point in time Lucifer shows up, royally pissed off because who the hell launched a formal summons for him during Date Night? He wasn't compelled to attend, of course not, but that was a really formal summons. It had weight. And he wants whoever did it to knock it off, because he has better things to do, really!
...thought. He's still short. So the Winchesters and Castiel are staring at a short, glaring, blatantly inhuman man who looks like he runs a circus part-time.
Meanwhile, Lucifer sees Cas and - oh, it makes sense now! Little brothers. Fucking little brothers, always disturbing you when you're busy...
Correct!!! Heaven 100% has NO clue that the original plan is down the drain and HAS been down the drain for many millenia.
The Winchesters and Castiel are met with this 5'5" circus ringleader with a porcelain-like face, sharp teeth, red horns, a whiplike tail, and VISIBLE wings, scowling at them but not being terribly aggressive actually, mostly annoyed.
Then he sees Cas and actually rolls his damned eyes and starts loudly complaining about younger brothers, he thought he didn't need to deal with this shit anymore after he got disowned, come ON.
@that-hazbin
Dean does Not Know How To React when the Devil Himself (?!?) starts ranting about little brothers always interrupting just when it's getting good, he was about to Get Some and if said little brother doesn't knock it off with the Formal Summons he is going to take steps - except said First Fallen breaks it off to squint at Castiel and ask why he's squished himself into a meatbag, that's disgusting.
Look. Come on. Pretty much everyone but the moronic bottom feeders use ethically-sourced bodies these days. Listen, he gets that said little brother - uh, what's your name again, because there's like literally a bazillion of you? - might be exploring his individuality and exploring his self-worth, but there's a difference between looking for yourself and looking for yourself hygienically.
Wait. Wait, do you not know how to make yourself a body? Fucking ME, kids these days -
Came back bc fic idea wiggled into my mind
Essentially a Supernatural x Hazbin Hotel crossover, taking some inspiration from @kitsunesongs' Double Entry AU, specifically Fatherverse Lucifer again.
If y'all don't know Supernatural lore, I'll explain some to you because some of it seems VERY similar to Double Entry's fatherverse, with smaller key differences. (On that note, this may be spoilers for Double Entry so READ THAT FIRST, GO READ IT, GO!)
In Supernatural, instead of Roo, God wages war against Amara, his opposite, who cannot resist destroying anything he creates. Like Double Entry, God locks Amara away, except in Supernatural he leaves the lock with his most beloved angel, Lucifer. This lock is a Mark, and God has essentially cursed Lucifer to be slowly corrupted by Amara's influence over time.
It is this influence that ultimately led to Lucifer's rage, envy, and disgust when God created humanity and told the angels to bow to them. It's this influence that led to Lucifer refusing to bow and leading a rebellion. Those feelings would have still been there most likely, but nowhere near as deep without Amara whispering into his ear.
NOW. Back to the story idea.
Alastor gets transported into the Supernatural universe as a disembodied soul in Hell, but this is in the wake of his original universe being completely destroyed. Not because of Roo like he and many others had been expecting, but because God was frustrated and just decided to destroy EVERYTHING. A whole universe, gone. Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggi, Lilith, his MOTHER, they're all gone, as though they never existed to begin with.
Alastor only survived because Roo liked him. And Roo liked him because unlike others, who she could only influence, whisper to, nudge along, she could SPEAK with him, and he could speak back without being corrupted. Almost as if he was made to be able to do so.
Perhaps he was, and this was God's mistake. Because it left Alastor with abilities that essentially allowed him to be a multidimensional blindspot, so long as he was trained to do it. And oh, of COURSE Roo trained him to do it. Anything that could potentially fuck over her jailor at some point in the future.
Unbeknownst to her, it's her teachings that allowed him to escape. And it is her teachings that allowed him to eventually reconstruct a body. Not the one he had in Hell previously, apparently the rules in this new universe don't allow appearances like that yet, but he could reconstruct his human body. It was a slow process, of course, but that meant very little, because time was extended in Hell, and the place seemed rather... barren. Nothing around to disturb him.
Once his body is constructed, he wanders around, and finds he doesn't quite like how THIS Hell is structured. Naturally, he does something about it, starts moving things around, shifting things, and in his slow exploration and organization of this empty Hell, he eventually comes across a Cage. One with a being so immense, so bright, he instantly realized based on biblical scripture who he was looking at.
The Light Bringer. The Morning Star. The Serpent.
A marked being whose mind is being warped... Well, lucky for him that Alastor can do something about that, with all his teachings. Of course, this Lucifer still thinks humans are filthy unworthy creatures, and Alastor truthfully kind of wants to punt his stupid face regardless of how enormous and unfathomable he is, (which honestly Lucifer is a little stunned by, what the fuck is wrong with this human??) but, well, Lucifer wasn't wrong for being angry at being told to submit.
Alastor's from the Jim Crow era south, he can understand the ugly feeling of being told you are LESSER, that you must bow your head to another. Lucifer just has a nasty problem of falling a little too close to the tree, because like God he ALSO seems to have an egomaniac problem that makes him think OTHERS should be considered lesser... (And Alastor can see that this attitude was exacerbated by the literal curse that God placed on his own damn kid, Yikes.)
Luckily, Lucifer's in a cage, and Alastor has all the time in the world to poke him back into having a brain. In fact, he has more time than he would have in the previous universe, given that time is MUCH slower in this Hell.
(Alastor could have totally just left him, but Lucifer is currently the only other being in Hell, and unfortunately Alastor already has a taste for Annoying Lucifer Specifically, even if this is a different version of his favorite mockery victim.)
This is essentially a canon divergence that leads to Supernatural verse getting a more Hazbin edge to it, in that Alastor "discovers" a way for holy and demonic beings to make themselves bodies without having to steal it from others (leading to a Hazbin Lucifer appearance), his direct influence leads to Lucifer creating the Seven Deadly Sins instead of the Four Princes of Hell, and Lucifer ABSOLUTELY becomes a major simp because Alastor Does Not Leave Him Alone, and he is, unfortunately, extremely charmed by this impossible human, despite all the teasing and mockery.
Because of Alastor being a blindspot, no one sees that he's essentially completely derailed all plans of the Winchesters being used as divine flesh suits and shattered any prophesies by way of giving Lucifer the ability to make whatever body he wants. Alastor's existence in the universe stops a lot of things really! He even prevents his birth in this universe by killing his shitbag father before he gets his horrible grubby hands on his mother. No doubles, and his mother remains safe and happy!
At some point he does tell Supernatural!Lucifer about the other universe, about how God simply decided to destroy everything on a whim, including this other version of Lucifer and Lucifer's daughter— and S!Lucifer quickly picks up that Alastor is genuinely upset about the destruction of this daughter. Because she shall NEVER exist in this universe.
To which S!Lucifer is like "bet" and decides he's going to get this human pregnant the second he escapes this cage. In fact, does he need to escape his cage, they could totally do it through the bars, c'mon darling he'll SO give you that baby girl, ask and you shall receive—
(Alastor also mentions other Lucifer's failures as a parent and S!Lucifer is like "I could so do better" but that definitely comes with a LOT of discussions and arguments and convincing.)
If the knowledge of creating bodies is from Alastor who shares it with Lucifer, does Heaven know how to create their own bodies? Is Jim Novak still going to be possessed by Castiel?
Alastor doesn't really spread this information past Lucifer and a few loyal demons, and none of them are going to be spreading the word either. Heaven at this point does not know about this method and that's by design. If they knew Lucifer could make himself a perfect vessel, they would know that their prophesy has already been ruined.
Basically, it's only revealed when Lucifer manages to break out of his cage, and he's possessing a body that does NOT look 100% human. Again, he's taking a more Hazbin appearance, so he's got the sharp teeth, black claws, porcelain skin, red eyes. I also like the idea of him coming out in a blue ringleader outfit like his blue one from last year's pride merch, ready to put on a show.
Honestly I want him to look clearly inhuman, but also festive and fun, something that will come completely out of left field to the Winchesters and the angels. He's also going to be a lot different personality-wise because he does not want to actually end humanity anymore. Alastor is human, his daughter is half-human, and he very much truly loves them both. (Also his new body lets him taste human food like normal and damn okay humans know what the fuck they're doing clearly, this shit is FIRE)
Honestly, Lucifer is just going to be an extremely radical conservationist. His biggest gripe is just that he loves the earth, he thinks it's god's greatest creation, and he wants to preserve its beauty. And yeah, a lot of humans RUIN that, and that pisses him the fuck off, but there's ALSO a lot of humans who agree and want to preserve the earth too.
He's the Devil, silver-tongued and all. He just needs to shift to a more human look, make himself an identity, and it won't be long before he's the biggest name in green energy and conservation efforts. He doesn't need to take over humanity by force or violence, sure it would be faster but it would also leave scars.
He's still gonna kill a lot of people though, of course. Like, SO many politicians and CEOs across the world are dropping like flies, or getting possessed by demons, or being replaced or jailed. Charlie's disapproval isn't really gonna stop that, sorry sweetie, daddy's trying to save the planet and this was honestly the most peaceful way.
Wait whoops I went on a tangent here I'm sorry!!! Yes Jimmy still gets possessed by Castiel, but after the discovery that human possession isn't needed, he does let Jimmy go and gains the knowledge to create a body in a deal with Alastor.
Castiel just makes a copy of Jimmy because that's the body he's currently most familiar with. So Jimmy's got a new twin brother now I guess lmao. And he gets to go back home to his wife and daughter! (Who are understandably upset.)
So in this AU, is Azazel like, not out there killing moms and making creepy children? If so, how did the Winchesters get into hunting? If not, how is Azazel not digesting in Alastor's stomach? Is Azazel created at all given that Lucifer made the 6 other Sins instead of the 4 Princes of Hell?
The thing is, Chuck is basically the director here. His story includes the Winchesters coming into existence, and when the 4 Princes aren't created, he's going to 1st, assume this is just a minor divergent path that might have had something to do with the fact that he just destroyed a universe with 7 Sins, perhaps this was his own doing, he WAS a bit distracted, and 2nd, make some adjustments to make sure the Winchesters happen no matter what. And they would have, of course. It's not like there wouldn't have been a million constigency plans if Azazel didn't pan out. There were a lot of constingencies for a LOT of the plan, not just Azazel.
@that-hazbin @periguita
...to be honest, I now have the mental image of Heaven having no clue that this is going down. Meaning that they're operating according to the original Plan, whereas hell is - mainly not. The movers and pushers, that is, meaning that Azazel, who I've always considered as - well, frankly, not that big when it comes to the hierarchy of hell, still operates his off-the-books smite-worthy scheme. Meaning that things keep proceeding As Planned (as per canon) until the Cage is unlocked.
...at which point in time Lucifer shows up, royally pissed off because who the hell launched a formal summons for him during Date Night? He wasn't compelled to attend, of course not, but that was a really formal summons. It had weight. And he wants whoever did it to knock it off, because he has better things to do, really!
...thought. He's still short. So the Winchesters and Castiel are staring at a short, glaring, blatantly inhuman man who looks like he runs a circus part-time.
Meanwhile, Lucifer sees Cas and - oh, it makes sense now! Little brothers. Fucking little brothers, always disturbing you when you're busy...

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Came back bc fic idea wiggled into my mind
Essentially a Supernatural x Hazbin Hotel crossover, taking some inspiration from @kitsunesongs' Double Entry AU, specifically Fatherverse Lucifer again.
If y'all don't know Supernatural lore, I'll explain some to you because some of it seems VERY similar to Double Entry's fatherverse, with smaller key differences. (On that note, this may be spoilers for Double Entry so READ THAT FIRST, GO READ IT, GO!)
In Supernatural, instead of Roo, God wages war against Amara, his opposite, who cannot resist destroying anything he creates. Like Double Entry, God locks Amara away, except in Supernatural he leaves the lock with his most beloved angel, Lucifer. This lock is a Mark, and God has essentially cursed Lucifer to be slowly corrupted by Amara's influence over time.
It is this influence that ultimately led to Lucifer's rage, envy, and disgust when God created humanity and told the angels to bow to them. It's this influence that led to Lucifer refusing to bow and leading a rebellion. Those feelings would have still been there most likely, but nowhere near as deep without Amara whispering into his ear.
NOW. Back to the story idea.
Alastor gets transported into the Supernatural universe as a disembodied soul in Hell, but this is in the wake of his original universe being completely destroyed. Not because of Roo like he and many others had been expecting, but because God was frustrated and just decided to destroy EVERYTHING. A whole universe, gone. Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggi, Lilith, his MOTHER, they're all gone, as though they never existed to begin with.
Alastor only survived because Roo liked him. And Roo liked him because unlike others, who she could only influence, whisper to, nudge along, she could SPEAK with him, and he could speak back without being corrupted. Almost as if he was made to be able to do so.
Perhaps he was, and this was God's mistake. Because it left Alastor with abilities that essentially allowed him to be a multidimensional blindspot, so long as he was trained to do it. And oh, of COURSE Roo trained him to do it. Anything that could potentially fuck over her jailor at some point in the future.
Unbeknownst to her, it's her teachings that allowed him to escape. And it is her teachings that allowed him to eventually reconstruct a body. Not the one he had in Hell previously, apparently the rules in this new universe don't allow appearances like that yet, but he could reconstruct his human body. It was a slow process, of course, but that meant very little, because time was extended in Hell, and the place seemed rather... barren. Nothing around to disturb him.
Once his body is constructed, he wanders around, and finds he doesn't quite like how THIS Hell is structured. Naturally, he does something about it, starts moving things around, shifting things, and in his slow exploration and organization of this empty Hell, he eventually comes across a Cage. One with a being so immense, so bright, he instantly realized based on biblical scripture who he was looking at.
The Light Bringer. The Morning Star. The Serpent.
A marked being whose mind is being warped... Well, lucky for him that Alastor can do something about that, with all his teachings. Of course, this Lucifer still thinks humans are filthy unworthy creatures, and Alastor truthfully kind of wants to punt his stupid face regardless of how enormous and unfathomable he is, (which honestly Lucifer is a little stunned by, what the fuck is wrong with this human??) but, well, Lucifer wasn't wrong for being angry at being told to submit.
Alastor's from the Jim Crow era south, he can understand the ugly feeling of being told you are LESSER, that you must bow your head to another. Lucifer just has a nasty problem of falling a little too close to the tree, because like God he ALSO seems to have an egomaniac problem that makes him think OTHERS should be considered lesser... (And Alastor can see that this attitude was exacerbated by the literal curse that God placed on his own damn kid, Yikes.)
Luckily, Lucifer's in a cage, and Alastor has all the time in the world to poke him back into having a brain. In fact, he has more time than he would have in the previous universe, given that time is MUCH slower in this Hell.
(Alastor could have totally just left him, but Lucifer is currently the only other being in Hell, and unfortunately Alastor already has a taste for Annoying Lucifer Specifically, even if this is a different version of his favorite mockery victim.)
This is essentially a canon divergence that leads to Supernatural verse getting a more Hazbin edge to it, in that Alastor "discovers" a way for holy and demonic beings to make themselves bodies without having to steal it from others (leading to a Hazbin Lucifer appearance), his direct influence leads to Lucifer creating the Seven Deadly Sins instead of the Four Princes of Hell, and Lucifer ABSOLUTELY becomes a major simp because Alastor Does Not Leave Him Alone, and he is, unfortunately, extremely charmed by this impossible human, despite all the teasing and mockery.
Because of Alastor being a blindspot, no one sees that he's essentially completely derailed all plans of the Winchesters being used as divine flesh suits and shattered any prophesies by way of giving Lucifer the ability to make whatever body he wants. Alastor's existence in the universe stops a lot of things really! He even prevents his birth in this universe by killing his shitbag father before he gets his horrible grubby hands on his mother. No doubles, and his mother remains safe and happy!
At some point he does tell Supernatural!Lucifer about the other universe, about how God simply decided to destroy everything on a whim, including this other version of Lucifer and Lucifer's daughter— and S!Lucifer quickly picks up that Alastor is genuinely upset about the destruction of this daughter. Because she shall NEVER exist in this universe.
To which S!Lucifer is like "bet" and decides he's going to get this human pregnant the second he escapes this cage. In fact, does he need to escape his cage, they could totally do it through the bars, c'mon darling he'll SO give you that baby girl, ask and you shall receive—
(Alastor also mentions other Lucifer's failures as a parent and S!Lucifer is like "I could so do better" but that definitely comes with a LOT of discussions and arguments and convincing.)
If the knowledge of creating bodies is from Alastor who shares it with Lucifer, does Heaven know how to create their own bodies? Is Jim Novak still going to be possessed by Castiel?
Alastor doesn't really spread this information past Lucifer and a few loyal demons, and none of them are going to be spreading the word either. Heaven at this point does not know about this method and that's by design. If they knew Lucifer could make himself a perfect vessel, they would know that their prophesy has already been ruined.
Basically, it's only revealed when Lucifer manages to break out of his cage, and he's possessing a body that does NOT look 100% human. Again, he's taking a more Hazbin appearance, so he's got the sharp teeth, black claws, porcelain skin, red eyes. I also like the idea of him coming out in a blue ringleader outfit like his blue one from last year's pride merch, ready to put on a show.
Honestly I want him to look clearly inhuman, but also festive and fun, something that will come completely out of left field to the Winchesters and the angels. He's also going to be a lot different personality-wise because he does not want to actually end humanity anymore. Alastor is human, his daughter is half-human, and he very much truly loves them both. (Also his new body lets him taste human food like normal and damn okay humans know what the fuck they're doing clearly, this shit is FIRE)
Honestly, Lucifer is just going to be an extremely radical conservationist. His biggest gripe is just that he loves the earth, he thinks it's god's greatest creation, and he wants to preserve its beauty. And yeah, a lot of humans RUIN that, and that pisses him the fuck off, but there's ALSO a lot of humans who agree and want to preserve the earth too.
He's the Devil, silver-tongued and all. He just needs to shift to a more human look, make himself an identity, and it won't be long before he's the biggest name in green energy and conservation efforts. He doesn't need to take over humanity by force or violence, sure it would be faster but it would also leave scars.
He's still gonna kill a lot of people though, of course. Like, SO many politicians and CEOs across the world are dropping like flies, or getting possessed by demons, or being replaced or jailed. Charlie's disapproval isn't really gonna stop that, sorry sweetie, daddy's trying to save the planet and this was honestly the most peaceful way.
Wait whoops I went on a tangent here I'm sorry!!! Yes Jimmy still gets possessed by Castiel, but after the discovery that human possession isn't needed, he does let Jimmy go and gains the knowledge to create a body in a deal with Alastor.
Castiel just makes a copy of Jimmy because that's the body he's currently most familiar with. So Jimmy's got a new twin brother now I guess lmao. And he gets to go back home to his wife and daughter! (Who are understandably upset.)
So in this AU, is Azazel like, not out there killing moms and making creepy children? If so, how did the Winchesters get into hunting? If not, how is Azazel not digesting in Alastor's stomach? Is Azazel created at all given that Lucifer made the 6 other Sins instead of the 4 Princes of Hell?
The thing is, Chuck is basically the director here. His story includes the Winchesters coming into existence, and when the 4 Princes aren't created, he's going to 1st, assume this is just a minor divergent path that might have had something to do with the fact that he just destroyed a universe with 7 Sins, perhaps this was his own doing, he WAS a bit distracted, and 2nd, make some adjustments to make sure the Winchesters happen no matter what. And they would have, of course. It's not like there wouldn't have been a million constigency plans if Azazel didn't pan out. There were a lot of constingencies for a LOT of the plan, not just Azazel.
I bring a real 'actually people who are pregnant do deserve some special consideration because they are effectively at least temporarily disabled if not permanently after some complications' vibe to the party that a lot of people don't seem to like
This is real. Also, I had periods for about a decade pre-transition, and those can be debilitating, too, and should be given special consideration if the person having them experiences things like severe pain, heavy bleeding, issues with things like cysts, extreme nausea or fatigue, etc.
Discworld book where the auditors hear about the phrase "it's not over till the fat lady sings" and hire someone to kidnap all the fat ladies in the world to find the One who will end the world when she sings.
Lady Sybil Vimes is one of the ladies, so Sam Vimes is on the warpath until he can find her, while the watch desperately try to keep all infrastructure from falling apart without all the fat ladies who keep it together on a daily basis
It ends when Sybil leads a hoard of fat ladies into battle, which ends up being so glorious an unrelated time traveler who witnesses it goes back to his native time starts the myth of the Valkyries
New fanfiction format just dropped, specifically for Discworld*: Just gonch up a whole new book
*Might also work for other series with lots of installments, but it seems especially well suited for Discworld specifically
Finished a new piece. I think it speaks to my state of mind. Notice the fine details. :)
Don't leave your friends and even acquaintances to go to the hospital alone. If they don't have someone already going with them and don't explicitly tell you they don't want you there, go to advocate for them. Outcomes for sick people change dramatically when they have someone else there to observe doctors (making them know they can't get away with negligence) and note symptoms from an outside perspective.
Going to the hospital is scary and even someone totally unprepared to be a medical advocate or physical support will be better than nothing, purely from their presence. You can grab food, be there with your phone to search if theirs dies, go in search of a doctor, distract them from pain or discomfort... go with them.

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trees are very 🥺 because sometimes i’ll stand under the shade of a tree and look up at it and it’ll sway its branches about in the wind and i’m like oh my God i’m alive and YOU’RE alive. we are alive together and made up of the same starry stuff and standing right next to each other in this moment on this earth. do u feel it when i reach out and press my hand to your trunk? can you hear me? i think you’re so neat. and then the sunlight filters through its leaves just so and that lovely green color leaves me dazzled. it’s just very nice to be an alive thing next to a different sort of alive thing
sorry im on tumblr literally all day and reblogged your post within 43 seconds. it will happen again
As this weekend ends with June 7th and it's been nearly a year since the end of the series and as I miss our centennial husbands, I put together three fanfiction rec lists with some tropes that are old favorites, hope you enjoy
For the first: Hob saves Dream from Burgess
A Canvas For Revenge by Sam_Salami (3.6k): Hob Gadling is a man of devotion and of loyalty. While saving his oldest friend from Roderick Burgess, he takes his time to turn the Nightmare King's torturer into a a blood-offering with methods he learned in his youth.
thinking 'bout you by Kyra_Maximoff (3.9k): Hob takes a job at the old Burgess house, and comes across the one thing he wasn't expecting to find.
A Dark Familiar Stranger by PH03N1X_360 (4.2k): It’s a wonder how strangled a man can feel if he cannot breathe, but he cannot die. In which the lack of air in the cage causes Dream to hallucinate and Hob breaks his Stranger out of the Burgess Mansion.
A Smart Man by meblogname (4.5k): Hob hears of one Roderick Burgess and suspects that the old man might have some skeletons hidden in his closet... or his basement.
his heart, beneath the floorboards by imnotcryingipromise (5.2k): Lieutenant Robin Stone attends an end of war celebration at the Burgess mansion in hopes of forgetting his ghosts for an evening, unaware of the familiar face entrapped beneath the floorboards.
Provenance by MeridianGrimm (6k): Hob likes to keep an eye on the occult community, and when he spots a familiar ruby at a party in 1926, he decides to investigate.
Poker face by fellshish (6k): Hob gets invited to a super secret exclusive poker game. At the Burgess manor.
The Love in Waiting by imnotcryingipromise (6.8k): In which Hob Gadling attends a summoning at the behest of a lady friend and ends up with more than he bargained for.
a lucky break(out) by cuubism (9.8k): Hob acquires a familiar ruby at an antiquities sale. Said ruby summons something else into his home as well.
Dreams are Reality in Waiting by Lalaith_Quetzalli (10.3k): Hob is a simple man, a man of principles, of convictions, with a simple life… except for where said life has lasted for several centuries now, he’s met beings that are both older and more powerful than any god, and is married to one of them! So maybe his life isn’t simple at all. Still, he’s the kind of man whose word means something; even when the person he gave his word to clearly never expected him to remember it…
That Old Witch Sleep by im_not-Corrupted (11.6k): In 1916, Roderick Burgess, intending to summon and imprison the Angel of Death, accidentally summoned Dream of the Endless to his basement. Though this was not what he intended, he constructs a cage of glass and iron with the intention of gaining something for his efforts, if not his son. There is one problem, though: Dream of the Endless does not wake up.
Broken Glass by Aria_Lerendeair (12.5k): Ever since their missed meeting four months prior, Hob has been seeing his Stranger in his dreams - trapped behind endless walls of glass. Hob has steadily been breaking the walls down, but he doesn't know what any of it means, or what it is doing. Until he finds his Stranger able to see him, standing on the other side of a single pane of glass, where he is trapped. This leaves him with only one possible option and way forward - rescue!
A Different Kind of Burn by Ruby_Casablanca (14.1k): Wherein Hob dreams of war, Morpheus dreams of an escape from his prison, and over the span of many years, they fall into dreams that blur the lines between friendship and something more.
Bloodhound by Moorishflower (15.7k): In 1989, drunk and heartsore and stumbling home from the soon-to-be-destroyed White Horse, Hob Gadling -- world's most loyal hound -- comes across a familiar-looking ruby in a pawn shop window.
For Want of Caution by mayanpaw (20.6k): Hob Gadling was not by nature a cautious man but even he knew the value of keeping track of those who would be too… intrigued by his condition. In 1926, a chance conversation in a bar alerts Hob to the fact that Roderick Burgess has captured another immortal, one that sounds eerily similar to his friend.
This Rough Magic by Avelera (36.6k, unfinished): After the disastrous 1889 meeting, Hob Gadling turned to the occult to find a way to contact his stranger and apologize. Yet despite becoming a fairly adept occultist in the process, Hob ultimately lost his nerve and never cast a single spell to contact Dream. Unfortunately, that was not the end of the matter, when Hob's dabbling brought him to the attention of Roderick Burgess, who is now convinced that Hob is a fellow Magus, capable of convincing Dream to give Burgess the gift he gave to Hob all those centuries ago: immortality. Now, Hob must use wits, magic, and a great deal of charm to convince Roderick Burgess he is indeed an ancient, powerful Magus who wants nothing more than to help Burgess become immortal too, if he is to get himself and Dream out of Fawney Rig.
In Waking Dreams by cuubism (49.3k, unfinished): In 1389, Hob married a man in his dreams, a lover conjured only by his imagination -- or so he thought. Five hundred years later, a mysterious ransom letter has Hob questioning everything he knew about his dream husband, who coincidentally disappeared from his dreams seventy years ago. Several miles away, trapped in a glass bowl, said husband is really regretting letting his marriage be only a story in dreams.
The Uses of Adversity by MonstrousRegiment (65.8k): What led Hob Gadling — at the time known as Robert Stranger, because he’d been in a permanent state of pettiness from 1889 to about 1904 and now he was stuck with it — to the dank, cold, and dark basement of the Burgess house on March of 1957 was not so much coincidence or fate as it was curiosity.
Edit: Now with links to the other two - Part two and part three
Can I be honest with yall I don't want to hear SHIT against cishets at pride this year
"But it's not FOR them!!!" The biggest military power in the world belongs to a christofascist nation overseen by a felon found guilty of 34 federal crimes and has greenlit a gestapo with more direct funding than the entire military of Canada for the purpose of ethnic cleansing. Let Hetero Jessica throw some biodegradable glitter at a municipal parade
At this point if anyone is trying to exclude anyone benignly pro-queer from a pro-queer space I'm just going to assume you're a fed or something idk like something something destabilize the movement from within or whatever
I am making a VERY big point of the Ally flag in all my pride stuff at work.
Feel awkward about people maybe thinking you’re queer but still want to clearly signal “queers are okay with me”? SURE. LOVE IT. HERE’S YOUR WEIRD FLAG.
Don’t fucking at me about allies right now, they are ALSO actually getting fucking killed over us. Take your puri-gay shitty tent somewhere else mine is great with people’s cishet friends and relatives showing up to have our backs.
(“but what if they -“ shitty behavior is shitty behavior I don’t care if you INVENTED queer sex, if you’re acting like a douche i’ll kick you out. wanna act decent and accept the premises of queer coexistence and freedom, cool, i’m not judging you for feeling ok with the gender title they gave you in the delivery room or being attracted to people with the other standard issue title, grab a pop).
yep yep yep yep
If you're with us, you're welcome. Sure, sometimes you have to wear the costume before it becomes the clothes, but also, some of the best people at Pride are the slightly confused moms, dads, and siblings who show up whether or not they understand. "Love is love" also means "I don't need to get it to show up for you."
Our small town (I mean, probably a suburb, but it started as a small town, so screw that) pride parade is on it's, I think, third year? Maybe 4th? The parade is today, and we expect a solid, supportive turnout. We do have some push back from the local creepazoid cult churches.
But we also have a pretty active ally cohort. The crowd is probably 2/3rds queer and 1/3 allies, and the parade itself is probably similar. And we love that. We need our allies, both because they're often our loved ones, but also because we need folks at our back because of the aforementioned creepy cult churches.
“Do you really think you can avoid death forever?” Damien asked softly. A strange expression flickered across the Hunter’s face. Almost a smile. Almost a tremor. “I’m sure as hell going to try,” he assured him.
When True Night Falls- Chapter 28 (C. S. Friedman)

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Some Gay Mermaids Kissing on a Pile of Skulls by Kelsi Jo
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Originally shared by PunkandCannonballer on r/ImaginaryLesbians on May 22nd, 2026 at 4:30 AM UTC.
given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that