*Stutters Agressively*

8,299,156,200 people currently here. More born every second. More die every day. Too soon, too long, inevitable, preventable.

8 billion people on the planet. 8 billion lives that flash across our screens or papers or daydreams everyday. 8 billion reasons to keep working toileously, hoping, demanding, praying, screaming.

We want to live. 8 billion people who just want to live in a world that's worth it.

8 billion people, 52 billion hours from homo sapiens' first introduction.

And somehow,

Some way,

I found you.

I was born with a will to learn, and I chose to learn how to love. And I choose to love you. I choose to love you until I can't- even then, a part of me will still love you anyway.

I'll love you in the way we make our coffee.

I'll love you in the way we still complain about fast fashion that isn't even good.

I'll love you in every single what-if, every if only, every yes, and-, that we deign to think... even if only to ourselves

I'll love the you that you don't talk about. I'll love the you that you cringe at. I'll love the you that you hated becoming. I'll love the you that can't bear to love yourself. And of course, I'll love the you that does, as well.

I was born with a will to learn. And 8 billion lives to love. And 8 billion lives to learn about. And 8 billion lives to cry for. And hopefully, a couple lives that stick close me to remind me what love is. How. Why I still should. And to love myself, because 7.00099 billion doesn't have the jennies (je ne sais quoi)(I love you for that too, by the way.)(I hope you laughed).

I was born with a soul that wants to learn how to love everything I have and will ever see!!

I'm so, so happy I can love you. Thank you!

Thank you that I'm here. With you, loving you until I can't anymore. Don't worry though, death is only as permanent as you think it is. I sigh CO2 into the air like my grandfather did. I smile at a lovely, verdant tree- that will convert it back into oxygen- like my aunt did. I laugh like my sister and I love like my mother and I cry like my childhood friend and I hurt like my other that I still wish I had made myself love just a bit more.

Grace has a warped self-perception. He insists he's not a "people person" but gets along with majority of the crew, is a literal middle school teacher who the kids love

he's so sassy bro. "I seem friendly only bcuz I stood next to Stratt"

also establishes why so many ppl thought Grace was second-in-command, like he's usually always standing next to Stratt

Like Grace is sitting there going "man it's kinda crazy the Eridians are being so nice to me. I know Rocky probably bullied them into helping the weird human but I still appreciate it. Hope they don't think the effort is a waste when I die in 40 years! :)"

like the first signs of a flare up from stress/over exertion used to be red face + fever + rash on my hands

but the lines of my tattoo will become raised and then a little itchy before it progresses to that point

and im discovering that, yeah, if i just listen to the wizard and rest/recuperate/stop pushing myself when it starts acting weird, i can sometimes avoid triggering the other symptoms

the good news: I know my process enough to recognize this as the slump that I hit in everything I write when it's like three-quarters-ish done

the bad news: the only way out is through

the good news: I do know the way out!

prev this is NOT staying in the tags

I wouldn't use an adblocker if ads were just banners on the side funding a website I enjoy using and want to support. Ads pop up invasively and fill my whole screen, I misclick and get warped away to another page just for trying to read an article or get a recipe.

Every app shouldn't be like every other app. Instagram didn't need reels and a shop. TikTok doesn't need a store. Instagram doesn't need to be connected to Facebook. I don't want my apps to do everything, I want a hub for a specific thing, and I'll go to that place accordingly.

I love discord, but so much information gets lost to it. I don't want to join to view things. I want to lurk on forums. I want to be a user who can log in and join a conversation by replying to a thread, even if that conversation was two days ago. I know discord has threads, it's not the same. I don't want to have to verify my account with a phone number. I understand safety and digital concerns, but I'm concerned about information like that with leaks everywhere, even with password managers.

I shouldn't have to pay subscriptions to use services and get locked out of old versions. My old disk copy of photoshop should work. I should want to upgrade eventually because I like photoshop and supporting the business. Adobe is a whole other can of worms here.

Streaming is so splintered across everything. Shows release so fast. Things don't get physical releases. I can't stream a movie I own digitally to friends because the share-screen blocks it, even though I own two digital copies, even though I own a physical copy.

I have an iPod, and I had to install a third party OS to easily put my music on it without having to tangle with iTunes. Spotify bricked hardware I purchased because they were unwillingly to upkeep it. They don't pay their artists. iTunes isn't even iTunes anymore and Apple struggles to upkeep it.

My TV shows me ads on the home screen. My dad lost access to eBook he purchased because they were digital and got revoked by the company distributing them. Hitman 1-3 only runs online most of the time. Flash died and is staying alive because people love it and made efforts to keep it up.

I have to click "not now" and can't click "no". I don't just get emails, they want to text me to purchase things online too. My windows start search bar searches online, not just my computer. Everything is blindly called an app now. Everything wants me to upload to the cloud. These are good tools! But why am I forced to use them! Why am I not allowed to own or control them?