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I also want to say that NPD is a very stigmatized disorder, people with NPD are not inherently abusive, and they deserve to be treated with respect. Not every abuser is a narcissist, and not every narcissist is an abuser. At the end of the day, I will fight for people with NPD. But at the end of the day, I am also a victim of narcissistic abuse. And by erasing the term, it invalidates my own abuse.

This is saneism.

Your experiences are valid, this term is not. Narcissistic abuse as a term encourages the continued stigmatization of NPD.

Plenty of people who abuse other people can be very much calculated and planned out without them having NPD. Your abuser having a specific disorder is not the reason they abused you, and saying it is also absolves them of responsibility, as it implies the abuse wouldn't have happened if they didn't have a specific medical condition.

I quite like this article. Please note it is by a therapist and they have an advertisement at the end.

Do you not see how ridiculous that is?

Calculated emotional abuse can be done by any abuser. An abuser doesn't need NPD to be calculated. Adding [stigmatized mental health condition] in front of the abuse you suffered doesn't make it mean something new.

Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.

Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.

And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?

I mean there *were* cases of nazis being smuggled into brazil, argentina, chile, and paraguay through illegal escape routes colloquially referred to as ratlines. That is a thing that did happen.

However, the way americans in particular seem to latch onto this fact to dismiss any latin american that pisses them off, either in a "well whatever your country gave refuge to nazis" sense, or in a "I'm directly implying your family were escaped nazis" sense (another example I remember seeing once was a post about US imperialism in latin america where a yankee replied that OP had no business bitching about imperialism because she was probably "a white brazilian called Helga or something") is a bit ironic to me, considering that:

The vast majority of german immigrants to these countries in the 20th century were jewish refugees fleeing the nazis

The US took in thousands more nazis after ww2 than the entirety of Latin America combined

A lot of the nazis that *did* escape to latin america did so with the direct help of US intelligence agencies

Nazis that escaped to the US were treated as valuable anti-soviet assets, and many of them were given cushy jobs by the US government. Most of the nazis who escaped to latin america spent their entire lives hiding from the authorities under false identities, and those who were discovered were extradited or jailed

Without Your Sister

Something I notice is, when men discuss the manosphere, they either centre the reason boys fall down that pipeline on some inner weakness or defectiveness of the boy, ie. "they're just autistic weirdos who want rules for women because they can't get their dick wet," or they centre the reason on women, "feminism had made women too woke, mean and impossible to socialise with."

What I noticed while working is that every single little Tate goblin I had to work with had conservative parents, and I have never once seen that aspect of all this discussed. Boys will reflect the social norms they are raised in within their household. The biggest preventative for manosphere bullshit I saw in the boys I worked with was a dad who isn't a fuckwit and a household that isn't LARPing the 1960s.

See, I do feel like there's something to be said for the interpretation that this is a manifestation of trauma from her abusive school

They constantly beat into her that she has to be humble to the point of extreme self denial, hyper religious, and so on. And this is the result – it's understandable why she ran from Mr. Rochester rather than living in technical bigamy with him, given the attitudes at the time, But the fact that she wouldn't let herself enjoy any of the benefits of being engaged to him while she was? The fact that she keeps putting herself down to the point of literally drawing a portrait of a woman she thinks is more beautiful, and a portrait of herself, and putting them side-by-side to remind herself that she didn't have a chance? To say nothing of the way Helen Burns talks about herself, as if she could help what to modern eyes very clearly read the symptoms of ADHD