tealmussel

Cece and L shenanigans

"You idiot! Who do you think you're shooting?! If you're going to shoot someone, shoot the others!"

Like, that's an interesting response to being shot. It's not "ow, that fucking hurts!" lol. It's "you're an idiot who can't understand the situation and you're fucking up my plans."

It's the same kind of response he'd have to Matsuda in other instances. (And in fact how L reacts to Matsuda too. E.g., "stupid Matsuda" when he gets caught in the Yotsuba headquarters. Or, "just Matsuda being an idiot again", to which Light replies "that's his specialty").

Anyway, the point is just... even when he's initially shot, Light seems entirely disconnected from what's happening to his body. Aside from being more shouty and unhinged, the kind of reaction Light has could just as well be about Matsuda making some kind of fuck-up during the day-to-day operations of the task force.

And oh, this makes my mind swirl regarding the anime foot massage scene...!! When L first kneels and takes Light's foot, Light gasps at the surprise touch. And eventually says "fine, do what you want", flitting his eyes away, when L offers a massage. It's not "sure, I'd like that." It's L with Light's foot in his hand, Light looking away from the physical contact as if to disconnect from it, and then telling L to do what *he* wants. As if the foot might as well be some inanimate object. (And certainly Light can't connect to the desires of his own body, so it has to be framed as what L wants).

And then L presses firmly and Light *grunts* in pain, to which L tells him "you'll get used to it." Putting aside the innuendo of that, what L is doing is bringing Light into his own body. With that initial soft touch, and then the pleasure-pain of the massage. Light can look away if he wants, but he can't just dissociate from his body. He's reminded of his physicality, his corporeality, his mortality.

And then he reaches out to L's wet hair... though only touching with the towel. It's like, for a moment, being brought down into his own body has made him aware of L's. And he does that gentle brush of the towel... like reaching into a liminal space between 'touching' and 'not touching' L.

Anyhow, as someone who also experiences this intense disconnect from their body and literally has breakdowns over experiencing unusual sensations within it, I think all of these points are likely canon in the context of who Light and L are to their core. I kinda feel like it's one of those instances where the character posessed the writer and made them add details they weren't even intending on. Ohba isn't completely stupid and I have a LOT of faith in the people at Madhouse who added the rain scene but Ohba's parts in particularly are open to a lot of interpretation that most definitely wasn't intended from the beginning.

This outlook on the foot washing scene, with both L and Light becoming aware of their physical forms like they rarely do otherwise, just made a wave of romantic warmth wash through my body. I absolutely adore the sense of exploration that is not just mutual but exclusively available when they're in the other's presence, allowing themselves to indulge or simply losing themselves to the moment, parting the clouds they've created to obscure their vulnerable underbelly and let a little light shine through the cracks.

But this also opens another door to yet another tactic that L could have been trying to use in that scene to ask for Light's mercy or even to leave him with a poisoned splinter that isn't the eventual pain of his absence of what he's about to cause. By making Light aware of his own physicality, he's also making him see that L is dependent on his mortal body as well – that the mind Light admires cannot exist without it – which works observably well. When he begins touching Light and kind of roughly massaging him, which strangely, in this context, seems like he's almost trying to shake Light awake from the hovering dream state that is spending all his time cooped up in his head, Light is brought from the pocket in his mind to physical reality where he recognizes L and seeks to return the favor by catching the water from his hair that is dripping on him, and probably cold. It's a favor as much as a self-serving act that marks L's success. L must be really aware of his shell at this point already, instincually knowing he's going to lose it very soon, and so he intends to make Light aware of it as well. Possibly to give him closure, knowing they're in the same boat. Perhaps to mock him or ask him to set a new deadline for the end of their game.