Okay, we got a new one, boys.
Close enough welcome back Chekov's gun.
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@grindthebones
Okay, we got a new one, boys.
Close enough welcome back Chekov's gun.
Prev you canβt bury this in your own tags

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at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95Β°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.
At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.
Asdfghjkl her perfectly straight face and even tone throughout should win an AWARD
things in fic I'm used to people kind of faking their way through writing about:
the city of los angeles
the city of new york
sex
how drinking alcohol works
how getting high works
how a child of any age speaks
how nuclear physics work
how [my job] works
how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is
how hypothermia works
things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:
what french toast is
read through the notes on this one trust me
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
you donβt have to write something good. you just have to write something unhinged enough to edit later

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happy pride month from sΓ‘pmi! β€οΈπππ I want to show you the sΓ‘mi pride flag, itβs a rainbow version of the sΓ‘mi flag (bottom left picture) and I think itβs really beautiful
happy pride month from sΓ‘pmi again!
Night in DayΒ by Thomas Blackshear II
(Please note that this piece is also called Night and Day in several sources, and I cannot find which one is correct. The artistβs own website doesnβt list a title. If anyone sees a definitive source for the title, please share!)
pride month!!!
Is that a miette?
Pride for you!Β Pride for a thousand years!!
you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

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strong bad would call the LGBT the L-Gibbity
They later go the theater to see a performance by "The Drag Queen of Town"
Bringing this back from last year
happy june!!!!! πππ€
if you want, you can check out my #pride tag for lgbtq+ arts!!!
can anyone find me that mesopotamian clay tablet telling you to marry a party girl because she'll bring you joy
It's from the "Maxims of Ptahhotep", purportedly written by a 96-year-old vizier to pass on his wisdom to his son:
If you marry a good-time girl
A joyful woman known to her town,
If she is wayward,
and revels in the moment,
do not reject her, but instead let her enjoy;
joyfulness is what marks calm water.
yay ty. Between the above and the links in the mentions we have 3 translations total
Happy Wife Happy Life is 4.5k years old
Other sites also have the "Does anyone have this image?" posts, but only on tumblr you'll find "Does anyone have that mesopotamien clay tablet?" posts.
Is this about how ppl born in the late 20th century have a unique and fluid experience of navigating barriers to information access and its our responsibility to teach the younger folks how to tinker with technology to avoid being spoonfed everything we experience in order to have critical skills that keep us informed, autonomous, and able to hold power despite looming threats of authoritarianism or..........???
i love love lOVE the additional element of βthe only information thatβs free is the βhow weβre going to hellββ BS. Chefβs kiss.

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Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Forget things that would kill a Victorian orphan β the porosity of the border between New England and Maritime Canada in the 19th century would kill a modern US conservative politician
Description: [A video of a woman riding a galloping horse bareback while holding a large rainbow flag.]
i felt like these tags really added to the experience, thanks @cynderxdustypaws for your knowledge
This is one of the most powerful images I have ever seen, and I will reblog it every single time because every single time it brings tears to my eyes.