why

being known is a mortifying ordeal not only bc it involves allowing someone to see the worst of you and hoping they will love you anyway but also bc it involves letting them see the best of you and hoping it actually means something to them

mood: the mexican dude who told judge judy “this is your show but this is my episode”

me at god

officer, that’s my emotional support two-liter of vodka lemonade

i can’t believe you just made me experience this

it’s fucked up that firemen are always standing around shirtless with their defined muscles coated in glistening oil. like oil’s flammable idiots

it’s called building an immunity moron

jonas brothers on the radio… people watching fruits basket… it’s really 2009 again huh 

On GOD we gon get you some will to live bro

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes

Babies have no concept of object permanence

the best part of being viciously hated in high school is that old classmates never hit me up trying to indoctrinate me in pyramid scheme bullshit… the pain pays off in its own ways, eventually

It’s crazy how the police force constantly does things like this designed to hide themselves and rule citizens with fear and then they cry about how everyone hates cops

i’m so sorry for being a customer, i want  to leave you alone but sometimes i have to buy things or eat. please understand i use self checkout whenever i can