Laughing on the Inside

saw this suddenly get a flurry of notes which means it is once again fucking moon day! Happy fucking moon day, everyone.

You're going to see headlines today saying that FDA has walked back from a finding of Cyclospora in a sample of Taylor Farms lettuce that was outside of the existing voluntary recall. You need to connect the dots between that and representatives of the company meeting directly with representatives from the White House and FDA to try to distance the company from the mass illness outbreak they caused and deflect it back to Taco Bell even though there is no way the parasitic contamination could occur at that stage of the distribution process. The company was responsible for an E. coli outbreak in 2024 that came via produce sold to McDonald's and another cyclospora outbreak via their own salad kits. Given how far their tendrils reach into the United States food system, since they also supply Sysco and US Foods which in turn supply schools, hospitals, nursing homes, prisons, stadiums, and other large institutions as well as countless small restaurants and restaurant groups around the country, Taylor Farms repeat laxity with food safety should be a company ending scandal. But we're apparently in the age of teflon wrongdoers.

As you all know. I work at an elementary school. And for Christmas, a bunch of kids got tamagotchis. Well. One girl fucking FORGOT her tamagotchi at school. And I saw it and was like oh fuck. So I took it home for the weekend and now am saddled with the responsibility of keeping it alive until Monday afternoon when I see her again.

Not this damn tamagotchi setting off an alarm at fucking 1am because it "pooped" and I need to press buttons to clean it up 😭 there's NO WAY of turning this thing off. Avielle is lucky I've committed myself to taking care of it this weekend. Next time a kid forgets their tamagotchi at school I'm letting it die idc idc

I’m locking it in the bathroom overnight idc the fact that it keeps going off for no reason is insane whoever invented these needs to go to jail

This fucking thing is like. Nocturnal. It’s slept ALL DAY like it won’t STOP SLEEPING in a pile of shit and there’s nothing I can do to wake it up which like, that’s fine except it’s going to wake up at night and start beeping at me!!!!! How am I supposed to take care of it when it literally is only awake at night???? I have a morning shift tomorrow I can’t stay up until 3 am to feed this fucking pixel beast!!! But also I swore to myself that I wouldn’t let avielle’s beloved tamagotchi die so I guess this is just my life now

Morning update: a very kind person sent me an ask telling me how to hack a pause on this tamagotchi. They also, in a round abour way, told me how to set the time—the eight year old who owns this tamagotchi had it set to the reverse, so the beastie thought it was 9:30pm instead of am, which explains why it was ONLY AWAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I fixed it for her so that it actually has a reasonable sleep schedule, woke up the tamagotchi, cleaned it’s 3 festering poops, got rid of the ghost (which someone else informed me means the tamagotchi is sick, probably from the starvation and the poops), fed it a bunch of hamburgers and cake slices, and got it back to full health and happiness. Now I’m gonna use the pause hack to pause this motherfucker. Yaaaay! Time to feed and walk my actual living dog and then go to work and clean up a shattered mirror 🧍🧍🧍

Yoooooo it evolved into a kind of blobular duck thing !!

today i took the worst photo of a loon one can possibly take while remaining identifiably a loon

Ozempic scares the shit out of me. You're telling me there's a drug that takes away both the craving side of hunger and targets the brain's rewards center for eating. You're telling me it takes the joy out of eating and it turns you into a skeleton. Why did we turn The Curse of the Black Pearl into a drug. What the fuck.

This is SUCH a cool one-to-one

Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely

Iris: What type of dog is this? N: That’s a tortoise.