You Oughtta Whack 'Em!

One day I will be your early 30s mutual. Take my hand and come with me

What a coincidence! I'm a goon too! How's da weather today?

Rainy, monochrome, the usual. I got a promotion recently, however. So that's somethin'.

Us goons can get promotions?

Are both of you my goons?

Kiss each other.

WOAH! WATCH WHERE YA AIM THAT THING!

Are ya going against Bosses' wishes?

...No. If da boss wants it... C'mere.

What a coincidence! I'm a goon too! How's da weather today?

Rainy, monochrome, the usual. I got a promotion recently, however. So that's somethin'.

Us goons can get promotions?

Are both of you my goons?

Kiss each other.

WOAH! WATCH WHERE YA AIM THAT THING!

What a coincidence! I'm a goon too! How's da weather today?

Rainy, monochrome, the usual. I got a promotion recently, however. So that's somethin'.

Us goons can get promotions?

Yeah, i got promoted from bag-with-a-dead-guy carrier to the getaway tommy gun. I had ta work reeeal hard for it, though.

Oh damn, I am still the leaning-at-a-wall-and-sharpening-my-knife position. It doesn't pay well but damn my knife is sharp and the grunt work has to be done, ain't I'm right?

What a coincidence! I'm a goon too! How's da weather today?

Rainy, monochrome, the usual. I got a promotion recently, however. So that's somethin'.

Us goons can get promotions?

Yeah, i got promoted from bag-with-a-dead-guy carrier to the getaway tommy gun. I had ta work reeeal hard for it, though.

What a coincidence! I'm a goon too! How's da weather today?

Rainy, monochrome, the usual. I got a promotion recently, however. So that's somethin'.

What a coincidence! I'm a goon too! How's da weather today?

*walks up to gay couple* So which of you is the taciturn one who's a lot smarter than they pretend to be and which of you is the talkative one who uses big words incorrectly?

Abbott & Costello?

Neither especially villainous nor particularly gay, unfortunately.

Sadly doesn't pre-date Diamonds Are Forever (1971).

These are some of the coolest goons i've ever seen.

There’s a gimmick blog right behind me with a gun to my head

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Whaddya want?

Well...

tom nook is NOT a landlord!!! he is a construction worker! he SELLS you a WHOLE HOUSE! He is not CHARGING YOU however many bells a month to live there! You PURCHASE a HOME that he BUILDS FOR YOU and then you PAY HIM FOR HIS SERVICE. He charges no interest he sets no time limit it is a relationship built on trust. the only penalty you get for not paying off your home is that he won't build more home until you pay him for the first one. A guy that builds you a house wherever you want him to and then charges you for the cost of construction is not a landlord you own the fucking home

He is, however, in the mafia

Well, we have to do SOMETHING in our spare time!