I Love Fanfiction

Birds are basically the dinosaurs that managed to “nooo you wouldn’t hurt a cute little baby guy on his birthday” their way out of a mass extinction

The people who insist AI is smarter than a human are doing their fucking damnedest to manifest that

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

also all of the Hollander pasta snakes want nothing more than to climb on Ilya, who is so tall and warm and squishy. He considers that perhaps the only thing worse than a giant snake that hates you is a giant snake that likes you

#they still go to reptile expos as a family #and this is actually the first family thing ilya would like to be excluded from :) thank you :) please leave him home :) #bingsu is a leopard gecko and she is very chill and ilya minds her the least #but butter tart and timbits are crested geckos who LOVE climbing on ilya #ilya :) does NOT love this :) #CACKLING about how getting anya makes ilya the odd one out in this family XD #like oh? you went dog?? i mean yes she's cute but no one has frogs yet #you didn't want to go frogs??? (penandinkprincess)

also all of the Hollander pasta snakes want nothing more than to climb on Ilya, who is so tall and warm and squishy. He considers that perhaps the only thing worse than a giant snake that hates you is a giant snake that likes you

I feel like pirating media that isn’t sold or offered anywhere legally anymore shouldn’t be called piracy. Girl thats archaeology

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

god I just. love ruthlessness as a character trait so much. sexy sexy sexy

I think it's important to know that this quote is about Marco from Animorphs realizing he can cause a major blow to the Yeerk Empire by killing his deeply beloved mother. And he nearly does it too and is only stopped by another character physically intervening.

sometimes you just gotta listen to music at a volume that you know will be part of the cause of your hearing loss at the age of 28

hey yall. im 25 now and i already have tinnitus <3 dont do this. LOL

oh btw for those saying “i already have tinnitus haha it cant get worse” YEAH IT CAN BITCH! if you want to listen to music loud do it on speakers at least. headphones will Beam Pain Waves Directly Into Your Cochlear Hair Cells and a 10kHz Tone Loud Enough Will Give You Psychic Damage Forever

hey im in the last week of being 28 now and i dont believe this no more i think we should all passivey hurt ourselves for fun

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving