NonchalantxFish

I hope she got her order.

Not only should teachers be paid more, they should have paid work hours dedicated to lesson planning and paperwork. Drops mic and walks away

why the FUCK is there a big spider on my bedroom wall it doesn't look like any spider i've ever seen in my entire life what the fuck

are you sure it's a spider?

oh that's a wolf spider. they taste like celery and pork and they aren't poisonous.

why is it in my room

and why do you know what it tastes like

@sicklythiasus why do you know what a wolf spider tastes like

nom nom.

what

yummy yummy in my tummy tummy

when and why did you eat a wolf spider

why was your solution to eat them

i mean, no one else was gonna.

bat opens up their little bat wallet to find they are all out of moths. A worthless $100 bill flies out for emphasis

“>” is the equivalent of a “stop” in a telegram

> Be me in 1810 > Receive telegram > Bartholomew has died of tuberculosis

AT A FRIENDS HOUSE STOP CHECK OUT HIS ITUNES LIBRARY STOP LITERALLY ONLY ONE SONG STOP LINKIN PARK IN THE END STOP ALMOST 30000 PLAYS STOP

tags that make you unmute. holy fucking shit

Spitballing with the fellas on discord and we've come up with a Star Trek character we want to see: A 200-year-old top Vulcan diplomat attending a function and laughing boisterously and slapping backs with everyone and then just relaxing into resting bitch face the moment nobody is watching him. He takes his job deadly seriously and studied parties extensively in the diplomatic academy. Every year he's brushing up on new developments in party theory. He knows every party nuance you could possibly think of, for the sake of intergalactic relations. Peace in the galaxy depends on it. It's weird but you gotta meet people where they're at, he thinks.

Sarek fucking hates this guy and it's 100% envy

I Got A Degree In Party Rocking

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

My prediction for the next Benoit Blanc film is that after Marta (accused of a murder, scared but works with Blanc), Helen (pretends to be a murdered person to work with Blanc), and Jud (accused of a murder, keeps trying to confess to it and has to be stopped by Blanc), the next in line is going to be someone who has not committed a murder, but really wants to do so and Blanc has to continuously talk them out of it while also trying to find a different murderer.

Where’s the YA protagonist teen girl and her two boyfriends that are supposed to save us from this mess anyways

The dystopia books lied. The teen throuples aren’t coming to save us.

Save me teen dystopia love triangle

Teen dystopia love triangle save me

measure once cut also once, no prablem

I love how Malala uses social media to occasionally do activism and the rest of the time adding numbers on 'to the power of' being a cultural icon.