please wear your seatbelt

But this is genuinely a shitty act against humanity.

Elon: No, I am just going to impregnate every influencer I meet.

Dreamt that there was a fourth button on samsung phones that I never noticed. If pressed, it would immediately call someone in your contacts and tell them, in your voice, that you were pregnant. If you couldn't get pregnant, it would tell them THEY were pregnant. And I accidentally pressed it about a dozen times

There were memes about the Samsung Pregnancy Button and discourse about it it was crazy. I was looking it up cuz I hadn't heard of it and I was just getting jpegs of reposted tweets like "Hitting the pregnancy button on my ex just to feel something"

If you become friends with someone they might offer you shelter or sources of protein

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

imo the term "walkable" in "walkable cities" should be understood to mean "wheelchair accessible" as well, not just literally "possible to walk in". the act of walking in a city doesn't automatically make it walkable

i just want to sit in front of the ocean for a little while

being into some bullshit that nobody cares about and also is stupid really changes you

So There's This Open Wound At The Heart Of The Text

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence