thank god complaining is free #mycomplaints

my scanner is kind of like a horse who hates me and wants to kill me

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

Sleeping poorly is so embarrassing... sorry im grumpy I stayed up past my bedtime. Like a toddler

the videogame industry will see their own foot and be like is anybody else gonna shoot this and not wait for an answer

i bet girls hated it in 1902 cuz you would constantly go on dates w guys who are working on an invention to present at the world fair

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

today i rang up a customer at work for $13.36 and i said with such genuine cheer "uh-oh! two years before the plague hit England, if anyone cares!" and i watched the customer's eyes as they were clearly taken aback and then tried to pretend to be interested at all. they made such a valiant effort. they were like I don't wanna damper this guy's plague enthusiasm. They said, very awkwardly, "haha, uh-oh!"

ending a social interaction with a friend and thinking "I think we grew a little bit closer today." in my head as if I'm a dating game protagonist

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones