Forrest

Naturally my first assumption was that she was judging me for my food order (maybe calzones are too easy compared to other pizzas and she felt under-challenged as a pizza chef?), but then I looked at my calzone and the more I looked at it, the more I felt like it might have been a failed attempt at a cat calzone.

(I didn't ask for a cat calzone, just a calzone.)

If I had immediately identified it as a cat calzone I would have of course said something about it, such as "Aww that's so cute! You made it in the shape of a cat!! Thank you!" — but it was too late. I hesitated too long, and it was just failed enough that I wasn't sure it was meant to be a cat.

I think this poor woman knew her cat calzone was a failure and I wouldn't be able to recognise her effort for what it was, hence the bitterness in her eyes when she brought it to me.

I asked my friend if my pizza looked like a cat to her, and she said "Are you saying this because of the olives? I think they were just placed randomly."

no, I think they were meant to be eyes, and a cat nose. And those are the ears. Wait, I'll turn it in your direction so you can see

Friend: "It's just a pointy calzone... Maybe you should ask the chef if she meant to make it a cat?"

If I tried to make a cat calzone and the recipient of this gift went like 'hey, sorry, is this weird-looking thing meant to be cat?' I would sell my pizza restaurant and drown myself in the river.

After considering this, my friend said we could brainstorm a better phrasing—but then we ended up agreeing that since the chef didn't go 'haha sorry I tried to make a cat and failed!!' when she brought my pizza, the options were a) she didn't try to make a cat; b) she feels humiliated by her failure, and either way it's better to say nothing.

But I felt deeply curious about this unresolved mystery, so this week when I went back to the pizzeria I asked for a calzone again.

The options were now: a) the chef brings me a better, recognisable cat calzone and I immediately remark upon it and she's happy and we erase the failed cat calzone from the historical record and never mention it ever;

or b) the chef brings me a normal calzone, which suggests that the vague cat shape from last time was accidental and just another instance of chronic cat pareidolia.

(I refused to consider option c) The chef brings me another failed, hardly-recognisable cat. She just doesn't seem like the kind of person who would let that happen to her twice.)

Here's the photo of the failed cat calzone from last time, which, according to my friend, just looks like a pointy calzone with randomly-placed olives and not a deliberate attempt to make a cat:

And here's what the chef brought me this time:

THAT'S A CAT.

I knew it!!!!

And it looks so sad!! This cat calzone looks like it will burst into olive oil tears if you once again fail to identify it as the cat that it is

But I didn't; I was so ready this time. I went "A cat!!!!! It's so cute!" and the chef went like yes!!! I tried to make one last time but it looked weird :(

I said I was pretty sure it was a cat last time and apologised for not bringing it up and she said no, it's my responsibility to make it a decent cat. She also said she was glad I'd come back and ordered another calzone because she was really bothered ("vraiment embêtée") by that first failed attempt, and wondering if I'd noticed an attempt was made (and failed)

IT IS INTENTIONAL

IT IS DELIBERATE

IT IS VIOLENCE

Please stop referring to your fursonas as hermaphrodites.

Yes, even if they do fit the definition of a hermaphrodite and have two sets of reproductive organs. This isn't for the sake of accuracy, it's for the sake of making your spaces less actively hostile and fetishistic of intersex people. Referring to a sapient/humanoid creature in fiction as a hermaphrodite is in extremely poor taste.

Other terms you can use for 'hermaphrodite' characters;

Dualsex

Bigenital

Salmacian

Terms to avoid;

Futa/futanari (this is just hermaphrodite in Japanese)

Intersex (Intersex people do not 'have both parts', this is a stereotype; *if a character is genuinely intersex (DO YOUR RESEARCH) feel free to label them as such however)

I hate how slurs are just built into so many furry art sites. This shit sucks and makes it so hard for intersex people to participate in the fandom. It makes it hard to find intersex representation in furry art because most furries think 'intersex = bigenital' and thus all the tags are clogged with a fetishistic stereotype of our bodies. I hate when furries find out I'm intersex in furry spaces because they'll immediately assume I have both genitalia, or they'll ask invasive questions.

And it just sucks even more because anthro art is such a cool medium to properly represent intersexuality through! Male calico cats, cardinals with red and brown feathers, does with antlers, bucks with none, etc etc etc! There's so many cool ways you can mix animals' sexually dimorphic traits in intersex character designs! But I just. Never fucking see it! Because furries treat intersex as a porn category that only refers to genitalia we don't even fucking have! I've never once seen intersex ambiguous genitalia like what I have represented in any NSFW art tagged as intersex.

snailchicken

book of hours, Bruges ca. 1500

Like, I can’t forget how tired I am or how much I’m hurting or how many things I wish I could do that I just can’t right now. Those things are actively happening to me, I’m thinking about them all the time.

Take a 2 minute break and read this:

Let's say it's 5:25 pm and you're driving home after an unusually hard day's work.

You are really tired and frustrated. All of a sudden your chest pains. They are starting to radiate in the arm and jaw. It feels like being stabbed in the chest and heart. You're only a few miles away from the nearest hospital or home.

Unfortunately you don't know if you can make it..

Maybe you've taken CPR training, but the person running the course hasn't told you how to help yourself.

How do you survive a heart attack when you're alone when it happens? A person who is feeling weak and whose heart is beating hard has only about 10 seconds before losing consciousness.

1. But you can help yourself by coughing repeatedly and very strongly! Deep breaths before every cough. Coughing should be repeated every second until you arrive at the hospital or until your heart starts to beat normally.

2. Deep breathing gives oxygen to your lungs and coughing movements boost the heart and blood circulation. Heart pressure also helps to restore a normal heartbeat. Here's how cardiac arrest victims can make it to the hospital for the right treatment

3. Cardiologists say if someone gets this message and passes it on to 10 people, we can expect to save at least one life.

And then this:

of course disabled people cant go across the entire store to put an item back every time. of course disabled people may need help getting items from high or low places. of course disabled people will get lost even in labeled places because of object blindness, blindness/eye problems, bad attention span, anxiety, or other issues, of course there are who can't make it through the entire store without collapsing