ever_lore

but I do wish people would hold more grace for people who are "stupid"

as my cognitive & memory symptoms get worse I'm seeing myself in these stories more and more

the woman who is visibly confused in public and doesn't see the sign right next to her and asks the same question multiple times because she doesn't understand the answer or is failing to communicate the question she actually means to ask.

the person who enters a building and has to ask if she's found the right place, because she's too overwhelmed to put together the "obvious"

the person who is polite and respectful but who still needs something explained three different ways before she gets it.

and I get the frustration, I really do.

but the next time you see a "total idiot" in public who clearly genuinely has no idea what's going on, please just try to remember that it sucks to be that person too.

and as someone who has no choice about being that person, it sucks to see post after post ripping into people for just being confused in public. Not rude or entitled, just confused.

Obvs I'm not saying people shouldn't vent or laugh online at anonymous strangers who will never see it. Especially when they ARE rude or entitled!

I just feel like I'm seeing a lot more posts about "stupid people" recently and half the time "being stupid" was the only thing they did to piss ppl off and...

Idk sometimes it just comes across as really mean.

If you knew that "stupid" person was confused bc they're disabled, would you be just as mean?

If not, please consider: why on earth would you expect to always know when a stranger in public is disabled?

People are generally trying their best. Even those who aren't disabled—u don't know what their day is like!

Do you think YOU could think clearly on the worst day of your life?

Have you ever been so upset you barely know what's going on? Ever had to run errands while coming off anaesthesia or while a loved one is dying or while your scary newly-ex is blowing up your phone with threats or god, even just when you'd been up all night and feel like shit?

That text post that's been making the rounds that goes something like "Omg you made it to the same red light as everyone else but faster and more dangerously and recklessly, should we call nascar? Do you want a medal?" summarizes exactly what I'm trying to talk about.

It's like when I have to change buses at one of the bigger and busier bus stops, and the people who get off the same bus as me shove and elbow past me to get off before me, and then shove and elbow past anyone even slightly in their way on the way to the bus they're switching, only to end up on the same bus as all the people they shoved and elbowed with several minutes to spare before it leaves and plenty of open seats left.

I think this unnecessary urgency a lot of people feel in their day to day lives drives a lot of bad behavior. I'm not saying I'm innocent of this, I've felt it too in plenty of situations that didn't call for it, and regrettably was less kind than I should have been as a result. But I try to be aware of it, and always try to ask myself it it's really as urgent as my lizard brain is trying to tell me it is, and even if it was that urgent, does that still justify unkind behavior?

Is shoving or elbowing another person aside going to make the difference between whether or not you make it to the bus before it pulls away? (hint: at least where I live, most of the time that's a no because the drivers usually won't leave if they see people from another bus heading towards their bus). Is shoving and elbowing people aside in a crowded grocery store going to make any noticeable difference in how quickly you get your shopping done?

That fully rewired my brain.

Thanks for these tags @disability-etiquette, because this unnecessary urgency (in situations that aren't actually urgent) really is a massive driving factor for ableism, and that needs to be addressed and discussed.

So many strangers have been so cruel to my elderly and disabled family members for being "too slow" in public.