a merry sunshine

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

good Morning to lesbians

In case you need a comfort watch and because Youtube search nowadays sucks rancid farts, I remind you of the Princess Bride Home Movie from the lockdown, starring everybody

its just that eddie makes buck feel so safe. safe and cared for and protected, and it doesnt matter how many people fuck him, who they are or what they want because eddie is there, watching over him, keeping him safe, cradling his face in his hands, brushing back his sweaty hair, pressing fingers into his mouth, petting his tongue, eyes locked on him the whole time. other people might get to use buck's body but all he sees and feels and knows is eddie. and eddie has nothing to worry about, because buck belongs to him and theres nothing that could change that. sure theres other people in the room, getting off, filling buck up again and again. but its about buck and eddie. its about trust and buck being so good and taking it all because eddie told him to, told him he could handle it. giving up control to eddie because eddie knows what buck needs and where his limits are. and its them going home together at the end of the night. soft touches and gentle care and so much love theyre sick with it

the thing about that weird stuff americans call cheese is that if you heat it a little it becomes an excellent burger condiment despite its failings in every other area. such is the fate of the american cultural product

the American 'cheese' slice was engineered by our best scientific minds (all borrowed from Germany ofc) to melt perfectly onto a burger and for nothing else. Its only purpose is to compliment the one true product of the American people. The hamburger. (also borrowed from Germany)

reeling a little at the implication that the Kraft Single was a product of operation paperclip

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

official paleography post