Castle of the Highlands

love it when a queer character's identity is the least interesting thing about them. like yes she's trans but that's less plot-relevant than the fact she's a wanted fugitive on 6 different planets

Replace “what if I regret this?” with “what if this sets me free?”

I remember seeing a comedian years ago doing a bit about how she tries everything because what if when she dies and gets to heaven or whatever's after, and asks why did I spend my whole life feeling unfulfilled? Why did things never click for me? Only to be told because you never did darts duh, that was your thing and you never even tried it. I think about the bit a lot.

So there’s a lot of “citizens of Ba Sing Se freak out when Lee the tea servant turns out to be the Firelord,” but consider the alternative. What if Zuko is just chilling at the Jasmine Dragon one day and sees an old regular and addresses them by their name but said regular does not remember him at all and is just like “wait what the fuck why does the Firelord know my name?” 

A citizen who frequents the tea shop rises in rank and ends up at the palace one day, and Zuko snaps his fingers in memory, points to them, and recites their order, and the citizen has a mild freak out wondering if the Fire Lord is psychic

It’s 4:41am, my insomnia is in full swing, and as soon as I unmuted this I skipped the laughing and went straight to crying.

tea condom, under vicious slapping assault: blapblapblapblapbloopblapbloopblapblipbleopbleopblwepblepblepblap

@shaemoi

WHY

Is this what sex in England is like?

I thought “oh it’s balloon filled with water :)” but alas

For the love of god unmute this

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

Radish. Answer the question radish.

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

Its takes less than a minute

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

Like seven minutes

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

why warm water????

Excites the body. JHK considered man's natural state to be an unfeeling resting neutrality. All biological excitement was a sin.

Yes. The cereal guy. As in Kellogg's Cereal. That guy.

.... That explains the whole "bland cereal means no sex" idea, to be fair.

Actually incorrect!!!!! His BROTHER was the Kellogg cereal guy - literally took the shitty bland-ass flakes he made with John before John started his own sanitarium (think of the old equivalent of a detox/cleanse luxury spa) and put sugar on them, and thus “Frosted Flakes” were born!!

Oh thank you for the corrected info!!!

I didn't read two whole biographies on this enema obsessed weirdo for people to be Slightly Wrong On The Internet About Him.

please @normal-horoscopes expand on that enema thing. u can’t just mention that and not tell us.

CT I know you didn’t just say that the guy who was afraid of masturbation and warm water made a chair that blasted yogurt up your ass please say sike

He also patented several designs for chastity cages.

If you’re puritanical enough you just loop back around to a freak.

but ONLY room temperature yogurt! If that yogurt’s warm when it goes up there, it’s a sin!

I like this so much better than the idea that our ancestors would be embarrassed or ashamed of us for being “soft” or some crap like that.

My ancestors, watching me stuff my face with fried chicken while studying: She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar. WE MADE IT

She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar

My ancestors watching me use my stand mixer while living in a small apartment and attending university: Thou hast kneadeth bread in FOUR hail marys??? FOUR??? And thou ist poor as a churchmouse, yet liveth in a fine cottage with four pounds butter and fresh berries in thy larder!! And two featherbeds! And thou attendeth the King’s college, as a lord!!

my ancestors watching me light a fire in less than a min with modern implements: [happy homo erectus noises]

OP WHY DID YOU WRITE THIS

Because they’re right that’s why

I once went to look at 3D printers with my PhD supervisor and we somehow ended up in a secret underground tea cellar with a Chinese Buddhist who didn’t speak a single word of English (neither of us spoke any Chinese either), drinking extremely caffeinated tea for 2 hours. I’m still not sure how we ended up there or how we managed to talk for 2 hours without a shared language, nor why I thought it was a good idea to drink ‘you will never sleep again’ levels of caffeine with a freshly diagnosed heart condition.

you might think the princess and maid thing is just a schtick but while making tea I did just manage to catch the teabags on fire

@derinthescarletpescatarian I need an Australian sentence now.

Once I was on an eighteen hour train ride into the city and the complementary tea service was down because the train had hit a kangaroo on the way up and broken their hot water system.

I think you can get both more broad and more specific at the same time I was going to walk down to the milk bar for a snack but there's a magpie in the tree by the roundabout that swooped me last week so I don't want to risk it

I got swooped by a magpie walking out of a hospital once and I couldn't stop thinking about how funny it would be if she'd injured me and I'd had to turn around and walk back in.

i've never been swooped by a magpie but i do have a scar on the topside, and underside of my finger where i was bitten by a cockatoo as a toddler.

how do you manage to have magpies which are still way more dangerous than our magpies

Oh thank goodness, I've been so confused about why Australian magpies are talked about in such tones, when ours in the US just, like, eat cat food annoyingly.

Ours will also do that

one thing about americans is that they know how to make a fucking milkshake

i hate the stupid milk consistency shit you get here like if you give me a milkshake it better be rock fucking solid. i want that thang thick like concrete. it should piss me off trying to drink it through a straw. i should have to wait for it to thaw

Americans are so good at making Beverage. One of our Foundational Moments was actually a party involving Making Beverage. Google "Boston Tea Party" for more