Queer, geeky, and periodically forgets that tumblr exists. No pronouns, please - hint, if you get stuck, just toss âFireâ or âFireâsâ in instead, unless itâs a reflexive pronoun in which case âthemselfâ is acceptable. If you need consistent tagging, this may not be a safe account for you. Current main hyperfixation is Linked Universe/Legend of Zelda (LOL NOPE PROJECT HAIL MARY NOW), but who knows when that will change. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED: if you follow me with a totally empty blog and youâre following more than a handful of people, I will assume youâre a bot and block you. I regularly go back through people's blogs and reblog huge bursts of things from the same person, so, uh, hi. (Header by @theshitpostcalligrapher)
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tiredâthat will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" taskâbecause the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
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i just know rocky was pissing people off when they got to erid. like everyone DROP EVERYTHING and help my weird gross alien boyfriend BUT you have to do it with me hovering over him and biting your arm off every time you so much as poke him because we're codependent. id be mad as hell
The oddest thing about the archives was just how eclectic it was.
The project was fresh and new and still finding its footing, still focused on gathering enough materials to justify its existence. Its scope was the history and past membership of a local organization that had been a fixture in the community for over two hundred years, but as far as Rose knew, the other archivists on the project were taking in everything that was offered. Scope and relevancy were stretched to their furthest extent and then further. Among their materials were the belongings of now-deceased members, salvaged from attics and basements and closets in the homes of their descendants, many of whom she had to assume were hoarders. In one collection she found a box three-quarters full of Beanie Babies, thrown in with a battered old paperback entitled âThe Handymanâs Guide to Astral Projection,â a painstakingly annotated copy of the Key of Solomon, and Walt Whitmanâs Leaves of Grass.
The second oddest thing was probably the dead people.
Not corpses. These people werenât that kind of hoarder, thank goodness, though after the delicately wrapped skull in the Audrey Wicker collection, she wouldnât have been surprised. No, these were the sort of dead people that hung back in the corner of her vision, just outside of her line of sight, like mirages brought on by too little sleep. They were never uncommon in places like this: archives, museums, memorials. Places that held old things.
They werenât a bother, in Roseâs opinion. All they did was drift around and sing. It was easy enough to ignore if she needed.
âYou feeling hearted Christians attend both young and old,â a voice drifted in as she was taking scans of one of the account books from the recently acquired Walter Jacobs collection. âUnto my dreadful Sentence it will make your blood run coldâŚâ Curiosity made her listen a moment longer. âFor the murder of Sims Bird, I am condemned to die, Inside the walls of Cork County Jail, upon the Scaffold HighâŚâ
Her vision was going blurry from staring at a computer screen for too long. âThatâs nice,â she said absently. âYour meterâs a little off, though.â
By Roseâs estimation, the accessioning archivist could have turned down at least half of what they took in, but that wasnât her decision. All she had to do was man the phones, wrangle interns, and sweet-talk donors and patrons. Her colleagues stayed in the vaults and offices, accessioning and arranging and describing, leaving Rose to be the designated people person.
And so, Rose was the one manning the phones when the call came in.
âHello, is this the Thaumaturgical Society Archives?â The voice sounded oddly clear over the phone, clipped and melancholy but otherwise forgettable. Rose felt drowsier just listening to it.
âYes sir, how may I help you?â
âI was hoping to have a look at one of the collections, if that would be possible?â Rose fought back a yawn as she listened; had she always been this tired?
âI can set you up an appointment,â she replied, rubbing her eyes to keep them from sliding shut. âWhich collection were you most interested in?â
âThe one numberedâhold on just a moment, let meâoh, here it is. The number is⌠2016-004. The donor went by the name Mortimer?â
With a few sips of coffee to rally herself, Rose looked up the collection in question. âOkay, that collectionâs in offsite storage right now, so weâll have to send in a delivery request.â Offsite storage was a senior board memberâs unused spare room. âDo you know which box you would like to look at?â
âThe one with the songs,â the caller replied. âSorry, the boxes are only numbered on your website, it doesnât actually say whatâs in them. Iâm only going by the collection description. If you donât know, then I may as well request all of them.â
â...Oh.â Rose suppressed the urge to find whoever had handled that entry, and throttle them. âThatâs twenty-eight boxes, sir, are you sure about that?â
âI really must see them,â he said. âItâs a matter of death.â
Rose blinked, feeling a bit more awake for the first time since picking up the phone. âSorry, did you say it was a matter of life and death?â
âOh, no, just death. It wouldnât be my jurisdiction, otherwise.â
âRight, okay. So we have a reading room open for appointments from ten to five on weekdays. Itâll take two business days for delivery requests to go through, but from there I can schedule you for whenever is convenient.â
âPerfect.â He sounded as solemn as ever.
âWould you like a phone or e-mail reminder?â Rose asked.
âNo need,â he replied. âWe always keep our appointments.â
He wasnât kidding about that. The appointment was set for ten in the morning on Saturday, and ten in the morning was when he arrived. He did not walk in at 10:01, or at 9:59. By some stroke of luck, Rose was looking at the digital clock on her computer when it happened, and saw the numbers flick to 10:00 the moment the door swung open and the man stepped in.
âGood morning,â Rose greeted. âAre you Mr. Pomp?â She paused. How had she known that? They had walk-ins occasionally, and sheâd only ever heard his voice.
âThatâs me.â As Mr. Pomp walked up to the desk, another figure trailed him in.
âIs he with you?â Rose asked, craning her neck to see the second visitor. It was difficult to get a good look at his face when he kept hiding behind Mr. Pomp.
Mr. Pomp glanced over his shoulder with a vague blink, as if he had forgotten there was anyone with him. âOh, yes. Donât mind him, heâs dead. He wonât be a bother.â
âI see,â Rose replied, and got up from her desk. Then she hesitated for a moment, and looked at Mr. Pompâs face again. He looked back, with a politely blank expression, until Rose was forced to look away. His expression never changed, even as she kept glancing at him; at least, she was fairly sure that it didnât. It was hard to say for sure when she couldnât seem to hold his face in her memory for very long. She squinted at his features, going over the shape of his nose and the slant of his eyes and the shade of his skin color, but the moment she turned away, the details slipped from her grasp.
The dead man was much more distinctive. It helped that his mouth was sewn shut.
âIâm sorry about the finding aid,â Rose said, as she led the pair into the reading room. âWeâll probably be keeping this collection on hand to fix that. Hopefully make it easier for people to find what they need quickly.â
âItâs no trouble,â Mr. Pomp assured her.
âSo, is this for a research project?â Rose asked. The twenty-eight boxes were laid out in order across a long wooden table, all of them neatly numbered and labeled.
âItâs for work,â Mr. Pomp replied. âWe have a bit of a backlog of⌠I suppose you could call them âcold casesâ.â
âOh, is this for aâa criminal investigation?â Rose asked.
âIt might be. It depends on what I find.â Mr. Pomp paused. âItâd be a little late for one, I think.â He opened the first box, while the dead man hummed behind his sewn-shut mouth. Rose could swear that she recognized the tune.
Rose helped him as best she could, even though she didnât quite know what he was looking for, because it was her job and she liked to be helpful. He was looking for songs; she found an ancient, yellowed book of Christmas carols in one box, but he merely shook his head. Two vinyl jazz records were barely given a glance. All the while, the dead man paced the room and hummed until the melody was stuck in Roseâs head.
Nearly an hour after their arrival, another voice joined his. The tune was the same, but the second voiceâfrom lips that werenât stitched togetherâsang the words instead of humming. â...This young man whom she courted to the charge gave no denial,â a dead man sang, picking up in the middle of a verse as he appeared in the reading room. âIn the dock he stood, before the judge, repenting for his crime, Let us hope he pray both night and day until his fatal timeâŚâ
For the first time since he had started, Mr. Pomp raised his head from the folders and documents he was poring through. The dead man stopped singing, and spoke instead. Rose had never heard any of the dead people do that before.
âIâm stuck,â he said to Mr. Pomp. âIâm sorry for what I did. When you leave, can I go with you?â
âYou may,â Mr. Pomp replied. âPerhaps you can help me. Do you know where your song is? Iâm looking for his.â He nodded to the man with the sewn-shut mouth.
âBox twenty-four,â was the reply, breathed out in a sigh of relief. âFolder twelve. Iâm very tired.â
âI can imagine,â Mr. Pomp replied, and Rose moved to open the appropriate box.
Folder twelve, as well as the rest of the folders, held slips of paper so yellow with age that they were nearly brown, the printer ink chipped and faded, the edges frayed by time and vermin. They looked a bit like newspaper clippings, only instead of articles, they held woodcuts and song lyrics.
âBroadside ballads,â Rose said. âYouâre looking for broadside ballads?â
âItâs an old trick,â Mr. Pomp told her, carefully turning over each sheet as he inspected them. âThey were popular songs in their day, so some would use them to keep the dead fresh in peopleâs minds. It would keep them here, at least for a time.â
âWhat for?â Rose asked.
âAmusement, mostly,â Mr. Pomp replied. âAnd for other, more unsavory things. You can do quite a lot, trapping the dead. And then these things end up in archives and libraries and museums and things, so they stay quite a bit longer. Itâs why we have such a backlog now, though it does make these things easier to find and fix. Ahâhereâs yours, Mr. ⌠John Murphy, wasnât it?â
The dead man sang again, as if his mouth and tongue were no longer in his command. âOn the 20th of April at 8 oâclock that day, The soul of poor John Murphy is supposed to pass away.â
âAnd you did,â Mr. Pomp said absently, running a finger over the broadsheetâs mylar covering. âAs I said. We always keep our appointments.â
âDoes that mean I can go now?â John Murphy choked out.
âI beg your patience,â Mr. Pomp told him. âI have to see to Mr. Brennan first.â
Mr. Brennan hummed again, a little frantically.
âWhatâs wrong with him?â Rose asked.
âDead men tell no tales,â Mr. Pomp replied. âHmm, itâs not in this folder. Are there any other ballads in this collection?â
Rose went to select folder number thirteen. âThatâs an odd thing to say,â she said. âDead people are always singing songs around here. They donât do anything but tell tales.â
âYou misunderstand,â Mr. Pomp said, without looking up from the folder as he accepted it from her. âI donât mean to say that they donât speak at all. I simply mean they canât tell talesâthat is, lie.â
âOh. Then⌠what does that have to do with Mr. Brennan?â
âBecause the dead arenât supposed to lie, but Mr. Brennan here canât seem to stop.â Mr. Pomp hesitated for a moment, then nodded to Mr. Brennan. The stitches on his mouth unraveled and he opened his mouth and sang again. It sounded a lot less like singing than it did like choking. Mr. Brennan sang his ballad as if every word was painful.
âUpon that fateful day I chose to God and faith forsake, And took my wife down to the shore and drowned her in the lake.â
He clapped his hands over his mouth and refused to sing another note.
âNot true,â Mr. Pomp said matter-of-factly, still sifting through the ballads in front of him. âNot true at all. We saw to his wife. She died in her sleep at a ripe old age, decades after her husband was hanged.â
âThatâs horrible,â Rose said. âBut⌠why?â
âI havenât the faintest. And Mr. Brennan canât tell me, because the song has put words in his mouth. But that question is precisely what I would like to have answered⌠ah.â Mr. Pomp picked up one of the yellowed pages. âHere it is, the full song.â
âWill that help?â Rose asked.
âIt certainly allows for a quick solution,â Mr. Pomp replied, and began to slip the sheet free of its mylar covering.
âWait!â Without thinking, Rose put her hand on his wrist; his skin was cold to the touch, not the way a corpse was cold, but the way a brick wall was cold. âWhat are you going to do with that?â
âThis is recorded history,â Mr. Pomp informed her gravely. âA sensationalized form of it, but still recorded history. Recorded, labeled, stored, and archivedâand that is what keeps Mr. Brennan here, instead of where he belongs. He is being held here by a lie.â Rose stared into his face, registering the color of her eyes even though she knew she would forget it the moment she looked away. âAs far as I have been able to find, this is the only copy of this song. If it vanishes, then it will cease to exist, and Mr. Brennan can go home.â
âThere must be another way,â Rose said. âSomething besides destroying it. Please? Let me try and help. I just need a little time, and you said timeâs of no consequence. You said that yourself.â
Mr. Pomp pursed his lips. âI suppose I did. If I were to humor you, how much time would you need?â
Roseâs eyes roved over twenty eight boxes, each with no less than ten to fifteen folders within, and did a few mental calculations. âA few weeks. Maybe up to a month, if I take research into account.â
Mr. Pomp was silent for a few moments, as Mr. Brennan hummed and John Murphy fidgeted impatiently. âVery well,â he said at last. He reached into his coat pocket and plucked a white card, which he handed to her. The card was unadorned, and held no name or company, only a single phone number. âIf you would notify me when you are finished, or if you decide to agree to my way, then you may contact me.â
With a sigh of relief, Rose took the card. âThank you. Iâll be as quick as I can. Not too quick, thoughâI donât want to get careless.â
Mr. Pomp hummed thoughtfully, tapping one of his long fingers on Mr. Brennanâs broadside ballad. âJust out of curiosity, what do you plan on doing?â
Rose eyed the folders, the boxes, and the broadsheets in their mylar protectors. âFirst,â she said. âIâm going to fix that damned finding aid.â
---
It took weeks just to go through everything, item by item, and enter it into the system. Rose felt like an intern again, plugging her ears with music to keep herself focused on the task at hand. Item by item, folder by folder, box by box, she catalogued the Mortimer collection. When she got to Box 24, Folder 13, she struggled over entering Mr. Brennanâs ballad.
The title and description were key, of course. That was the only way she could fix this. Because Mr. Pomp was right; if it vanished from here, then it would cease to exist. So maybe, if she did this right, then she could still change its existence. She could still save it.
But it would not be enough, to simply say that the song was not true. If there was one thing she had learned from grad school, it was to always cite her sources.
Rose pulled out her earbuds and tried to rub the blurriness from her eyes. It was probably a good thing she had given herself room for research.
She read over the broadside ballad three times, and smiled to herself. All the clues she needed were right there in the song lyrics.
---
The line rang once before it was picked up. âMr. Pomp?â said Rose. âI think Iâve done it.â
âI was wondering,â Mr. Pomp replied. âMr. Brennan hasnât tried to sing for a while now. He seems pleased about it.â He paused. âItâs been a month, like you said it would. Thatâs good. We do appreciate punctuality. Itâs polite.â
âYouâre not the only one who can keep an appointment,â Rose replied, with a dry little smile. âThe song had the date and the name of the town in it. From there, it was just a matter of finding newspapers that matched up. It wasnât a walk in the park, but I pooled a lot of resources.â
âAnd what were your findings?â
âHe took his wife across the lake in his boat,â she answered. âThey were going to move to a city on the other side, but they didnât have enough money to go together, so they decided to have her go first, and heâd follow her later. Only, someone saw him take her out in the boat and come back without her.â She sighed. âHis mother went to to try and bring his wife back to prove his innocence, but she couldnât find her fast enough, and he was sentenced and hanged while she was gone.â She fell silent for a moment, pursing her lips. âAnyway, itâs all in the description now, sourced and everything. You said a lie was keeping him here. If the lieâs exposed and the truth is revealed, will that fix things without you having to remove anything?â
âYes,â Mr. Pomp replied. âYes, that should do the trick.â
âGood!â Rose sat up a little straighter. âAnd, before you⌠take him home⌠would you mind coming in one more time? I just wanted to do a little follow-up.â
âCertainly.â
And he did come, once again right on time. Mr. Brennan was with him, his mouth unblemished and free of its stitching, with a spring in his step and a smile on his face.
âThank you,â he burst out before Mr. Pomp could get a word in. âThank you so much, miss, for all your help. I canât wait to see my dear old wife again, and itâs all thanks to you.â
Rose grinned back at him, then placed a sheet of notebook paper on her desk and slid it across to him. âHere. You can have this, if you wantâor not. You donât have to take it if you donât want it.â
Mr. Brennan picked up the sheet and read it. Slowly his eyes widened. âIs thisâŚ?â
âYour ballad, Mr. Brennan,â said Rose. âIâm not much of a lyricist on my own, but I can string rhymes together, and I used the meter of the original. I just fixed it, thatâs all.â
The dead man laughed. âI like it! Itâs not bad at all, miss. I think my Molly will like it, when I see her again.â
Mr. Pomp cleared his throat. âWas there anything you needed from me?â he asked.
âYeah.â Rose glanced back toward the reading room. âSo the collection is still here while I finish up the finding aid, and while everythingâs still here⌠do you think you could take all the rest of them? Thereâs an Andrew Carr here who keeps singing about killing Margret Murphy, and Timothy Cadogan about someone called Sims Bird, plus a couple of girls who were found dead on a farm⌠at this point, if I never hear people singing about getting hanged again, itâll be too soon.â She fell silent, feeling oddly awkward. âI was just wondering if you could take care of them, as long as youâre here, or at least let someone know where they are, just in case theyâre part of that backlog you told me about. Whether or not theyâve killed people, I donât think they want to stick around here anymore. Could you take them home, too?â
For the first time since meeting him, Rose saw Mr. Pomp smile. She was almost sorry that she would soon forget what it looked like. He didnât seem like the sort of person who smiled very often.
When Mr. Pomp left that day, the archives were blissfully silent.
Yes I know you mistrust the banks, milord, and I don't blame you, but their Vault Wizards are specially trained to prevent dragons from detecting large amounts of gold. I cannot emphasize enough that it's a full-time job employing multiple specialists, I'm not trying to be humble here but it's not something that just the court magician and I can set up a couple wards for on the weekends and call it good.
It's, it's just that dragons are the primordial embodiment of avarice wrought into fire and flesh. They are truly, supernaturally good at finding large amounts of valuables, that's why the big mines hire those Dragon Scouts to go sniff out their lairs and mark them on the maps as potential mining ventures. You know, in case someone slays the relevant dragon. Which doesn't happen often because, milord, they are simply not that easily slain.
No I know you've hired many knights, blooded warriors and true. Yes, I was there when you gave the ten most impressive ones their special sashes. Very grand, very high honors, of course. Ehm. It's just, none of them have ever actually faced a dragon. Yes no I know Sir Edbert says he did but Sir Edbert is rather notoriously prone to exaggerated and tragically unverifiable tales---
Well no milord of course I would not doubt the word of a sworn knight. Perhaps his sobriety, but not his word, as such.
The point is that the grand treasury, while surely grand and a very special notion, is just... it is mayhaps not the ideal way of handling the realm's finances? Perhaps a series of smaller vaults, capped well below the dangerous wealth threshold at which gold is known to whet the appetite of colossal winged harbingers of death, in different corners of the realms or...?
No, I, yes well I do realize that will impede anyone's interests in coming into the vault to hurl around the gold coins and go "whee, I'm so rich!" I am aware of its deficiencies as a plan in that regard. No, I see I've misjudged a few things.
Actually, thinking on it, milord, I truly believe what you need is a fresh set of skilled wizards on this job. The court magician and I, we cannot keep up with your visionary thinking. We're too old-fashioned. But the wizards revolutionizing the eldritch academies seem to be more on this sort of level. I hear they've made some truly remarkable choices in terms of outsourcing all of their spellwork to the Ever-Whispering Void, such that it takes mere minutes for them to set up an entire defensive array. That's just the sort of innovative thinking you require.
Though it will grieve the court magician and I to leave your service, perhaps this is a sign that retirement is overdue. So I'll just... be moving further away from the big pile of gold... in the opulent, dome-shaped building with the crystal skylight... best wishes.
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It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! Thatâs a big deal! Iâve never thought about it before but now that I have, itâs ridiculous to me that thatâs not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why donât we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
Itâs July 20th. Thatâs the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. Iâm ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and Iâm going to have a goddamn potluck. Youâre all invited.
PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! Thatâs a big deal! Iâve never thought about it before but now that I have, itâs ridiculous to me that thatâs not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why donât we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
Itâs July 20th. Thatâs the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. Iâm ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and Iâm going to have a goddamn potluck. Youâre all invited.
PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)
It really is an incredible au, guys. This is a scene from chapter 6 of From the River by @mandaloriandy on Ao3 from the Jedi Shmi AU.
A Jedi who respects the history of her enemy and tries to negotiate with him before going straight to violence??? How could I not love this?
As a side note: mandaloriandy, when you replied to my other fanart of your fic, I did in fact die and go to heaven. I absolutely love your work and this character youâve built is an inspiration
One of my favorite scenes from I Have Nothing I Can Give by MirandaTam (@mandaloriandy ) on AO3. Itâs a part of the Jedi Shmi AU, one which I highly, highly recommend!! In this scene Shmi realizes the reality of how Krell truly views the clones, and sheâs extremely not into it. Go check out the rest of the fanfic! Itâs amazing!
A free-range group therapy called "get herded, idiot", where you and everyone in your group is set loose to run around on an open field while a highly trained shepherd dog tries to keep you all in one group. I am not sure what benefit this would have for anyone involved.
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The 13th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 13th August 2026.
Itâs short and easy, for most participants it takes 5 minutes or less.
After the survey is closed Iâll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like weâre part of a huge and diverse community.
If you think you might have friends and followers whoâd be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful!
Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com
The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesnât fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.
I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understandingâ"
when brandon sanderson talks about villains in his famous free youtube writing class video lectures he'll say 'what's the difference between gollum and sauron' and of course he means the villain that's present in the narrative and characterized in a way the audience can potentially relate to or sympathize with vs. the looming threatening anonymous far-off force (among other things). but every time he asks that i think 'well one of those guys tracked down frodo and got his ring back'
"Oh yeah, we have an outdoor Corgi, he just gets so bored cooped up inside all day. He knows to stay off the road. Don't worry, he's way too smart for coyotes and the neighbor's know to look out when they drive past."
"Us? Oh, of *course* our Dachshund sleeps inside- we just let him out in the morning and make sure he comes back for dinner. He just does his own thing, no worries."
"Um, you know it's not humane to keep a chihuahua confined to an apartment? They're dogs, they're natural predators. They need to experience hunting behaviors or they get depressed. No we don't leash ours, he absolutely hates it, we just let him come and go whenever."
Yall get how fucking stupid that sounds, right? So stop letting your goddamn cats get eaten and attacked and infected and hit by cars
A toddler would probably love full unattended access to the neighborhood too, but we don't do that either, do we
It's 2026, "keep your damn pet in a house or in your view" should not be controversial
Swishy dress continues to be my most popular pack at 8.7k downloads. Celebrate warmer weather incoming with a nice swooshy dress!
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it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the womenâs side
and while weâre at it, Iâm done worrying about cameltoe. I donât have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business