"sometimes i miss my sanity" –wedge antilles

that’s just my nightstand knife don’t worry

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

I've never seen any star trek in my life but I just woke up from a dream on which it was suggested that Kirk ought to be allowed to carry a "tiny Spock knife," ie a tiny knife that can be brandished meaningfully at Spock whenever he's being being a bit much

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

(some guy on the internet voice) it's so unrealistic and forced when women win fights against men in stories. of course, when a young boy defeats a huge man I'm cheering and screaming because it is so badass, and when a frail old man defeats a cocky young warrior I feel nothing but satisfaction. I love these power fantasies about easily dispatching people who underestimate you, a thing I desire despite the fact that I will likely never have the skill to achieve it in real life, but I'm pretty sure women don't have that same desire, and even if they do, they shouldn't get to see it in media. because it's so unrealistic, you see. I mean I'm smart enough to know I can't take down a big man in a fight but the women, you know, they'll get ideas. I could probably do it if I trained hard enough, but the women??? for some reason I can't see it happening, and who can say why that is.

"i just don't like masculine women" literally i'm so sorry for you loss. i hope you get well soon

Love it when characters are taunted and tortured and beaten to within an inch of their life extensively. But then they need to be picked up and cared for by someone so softly. pleeaseee

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

if she’s your girl why am I wearing her favour at the tournament

lets make bad art together

i just realized that i forgot to put the word “make” in the image and i think thats fitting lets bad art together