"sometimes i miss my sanity" –wedge antilles

Soccer players are the horses of sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and

This would make hockey players the cats of sports. Random zoomies, chasing the little dot, knocking things over, and not admitting sickness or injury until nearly dead.

Put more hockey players in air jail. Putting them in the naughty box isn't enough. Air jail. Watch them hiss and claw the air.

reminder to all disabled people that you’re allowed to tell people “i can’t do that” about stuff you can ‘technically’ do but which harms you or requires a period of recovery or preparatory rest etc. you don’t have to explain the complex nuances of your condition to anybody who demands it. i’ve found it’s honestly better to give the least amount of info about your symptoms unless you trust a person a lot. you hold the power over your health information. you choose whether or not to share the details of your condition with people who might not understand.

I had to check this wasn’t The Onion

Only one politician voted against the legislation - Reform's Laura Anne Jones - with 50 backing it on Tuesday night.

we should mandate industrial themed nonbinary names to balance out all of the people naming themselves after trees. throw Anvil into the mix

part of being an adult is figuring out what eveyone else's definition of "going crazy" is. to you it is not sleeping for 60 hours, writing 80k words in one sitting and expiriencing enough anxiety to kill a horse. to beth from accounting its buying a ticket to Columbus, Ohio. and to your friend its consuming so much ketamine you lose all of your posessions and wake up with five broken bones in a ditch somewhere and then proceeding to do it again the next day. to your other friend its writing a letter to their favourite actress about how much they appreciate her work. to your neighbour its laughing loudly in a grocery store whilst in pajamas. maya from uni hears the voice of her dead father making jokes with no punchlines and she considers that to be quite normal - to her going crazy would be hearing her husband instead. your downstairs neighbour will take night walks naked sometimes and claim there is nothing weird about him. there are literally no rules to life and all meaning is in the eye of the beholder.

Goddamit i hate this fucking post. I hate it because obviously if “twelve” followed the same pattern as the other teen numbers it wouldn’t be “twoteen” it would be “seconteen”. Think about it. It’s not “threeteen” it’s “thirteen” as in “third”. It’s not “fiveteen” it’s “fifteen” as in fifth. So with that in mind, you count “first, second, third, fourth, fifth,” and so on, so eleven would be “firsteen” and twelve would be “secondteen” or “seconteen”. “Firsteen, seconteen, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen….” It just drives me absolutely mad everytime i see this post that this obvious pattern was overlooked and i cant hold in my rage anymore.

interesting hypothesis! i have a question,

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

the best fanfic is the one the author had fun writing actually.

the second best is the one the author used to work through some issues.

the third best is the one the author wrote out of spite due to some really dogshit discourse going on in their fandom

Big fan of 3!

i literally cannot convey how long i fucking laughed after i realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob

i really hope that this does not end up being the text post that defines my entire tumblr career

The science behind THC + alcohol as a combination is literally soo interesting because it basically causes the crimson red duckling in your body to confront the serpent in the bronze vessel of your heart. Basically you feel good because the duckling is able to eat the harmonious seeds stored within the vessel and transfer these positive energies into your body. You can have bad highs when this happens if the duckling awakens the serpent and it bites the duckling. The interesting part is when you ingest alcohol after THC because it floods the vessel and causes the serpent to fall into a deep sleep. The duckling never gets attacked by the serpent when this happens because it is unconscious and the duckling is actually able to get fat from the harmonious seed, which causes an enjoyable sensation.