most of my teachers start the semester announcing how much reading we will be expected to do, and how they know “your generation doesn’t read so im sure you’ll hate it”. and i hate it bc i cant very well argue, if i tell them they’re wrong and i do read they’ll ask what i read. and I’d rather be thought illiterate than admit in front of 50 classmates that i read fake lacrosse mafia romance books and its corresponding fanfiction

hey i felt you right click me just now. are you seriously viewing my properties? pervert

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

The reblogging will continue until you all love the story of the universal translator as much as I do.

there is nothing quite like asking a cat in a doorway “in or out”

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

Underrated Neil moment was when he considered asking Dan how she was doing in her english classes cause of her typos

I just think parker would be happier if she could commit little bits of violence on a regular basis. This is my petition to give eliot, hardison, and nate shock collars so she could be annoyed more effectively 🥰

The Romans were for real naming their kids shit like Boy #2

Big news: the week before last I met Prima, Trinity, and Setpus's brother Quintus

Recently had a run in with Hectare. She's very cute. Very bad at staying quiet during church

someone actually named her daughter hectare

Like it does not matter how correct you are, or how beautiful your coherence of thought may be. If you're annoying, people will spend their time and energy elsewhere