Welcome to the Woods

Friends who have vision sensitivities do NOT go into the Odyssey unprepared. There are a LOT of lightning sequences that could count as strobing lights. The worst offender is obviously after the Sun Gods cows, but almost any storm scene has an abundance of lightning. It was almost too much for me in some places.

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

would you like to share with the class 🤔

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

would you like to unshare with the class

They did actually win in suspicious circumstances but i strongly suspect the white french (history of racism so probably also history of antisemitism) referee being biased to a country famous for protecting nazis has nothing to do with israel or jews

To this girl’s boyfriend: DUMP HER YESTERDAY

bioware: we love all dragon age races!  humans, elves *looks at smudged writing on hand* doors, quinoa 

it really is kinda crazy how none of your squad mates brings up that you actually factually really fucking died in me2, like not a single person you're trying the save the world with comes around like "hey you straight up died back there, how are you doing?"

the problem with Kaidan Alenko is he would 100% work on me irl, my other fictional boyfriends/husbands/etc. are usually people i find conceptually hot (e.g. tragic) but unfortunately Kaidan is exactly the type of man where i'd be giggling and kicking my feet over him

You know, when I've remarked that a lot of the responses to my posts feel like people are just plucking out keywords they think they recognise based on the shape of them and replying to what they imagine the post says based on that, the possibility never occurred to me that this is actually how many American schools are currently teaching kids to read.

Like, my assumption this whole time has been that when folks go "I misunderstood this post that says [thing] as saying [unrelated thing] because I mistook [word] for [completely different word that happens to start with the same letter]", that was a bit. What do you mean they're teaching kids a reading method that's tailored to produce this exact error?

Loving all of the posts about Eva Stratt being the trolley operator but what I think some people are missing in their trolley problem analogies for Eva Stratt's choice is that Stratt was not a bystander pulling a lever, the lever had already been pulled and the trolley was barreling towards all of humanity and Stratt's choice was to make a desperate attempt to block the trolley with her own body but no matter how desperate she was to solve it on her own she knew she couldn't, she knew she needed others, she needed people willing to help take the force. The trolley was mere inches away and she needed only one more person, that person was her right hand man, her closest companian, her best friend, and she begged him to sit at her side on those tracks and he refused, looking down at her where she sat on those track yelling at her how unfair she was being to ask him to sit down, as if she did not know the pain of sitting there since day one. Yes she had to tie him to those tracks kicking and screaming, yes it hurt, but she did not do it from the sidelines, she was standing on the tracks herself

“No one is coming to save you.” I disagree ! I believe many people made up of many small moments come to save pieces of you , even if just briefly. The mentor who believed in you . The friend who said they’re proud of you. The family member that makes you laugh . The random person who held the door for you out of nothing but kindness. The teacher who took extra time to help you understand. The person who smiled at you when you walked into a store. The little kid who looks up to you. The person who randomly complimented you. Being “saved” isn’t about being whisked away and all your hardships gone, it’s about the people and things that remind you life is not all hardships, it is kindness, love, gentleness, softness, care, thoughtfulness. It is many moments made up of your lifetime that keeps you going and showing you the world is still beautiful, and will always be. Despite.