not white

Sniffs you with my proboscis

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

At night before bed let's all brush our teeth it will be epic

tumblr is the website for if you're just someone's weird sister

rocket pops and other popsicles have had a recent surge in popularity as a drink flavor but im fucking sick of it because NO ONE is putting a drop of popsicle stick wood extract in it. its fake as fuck if im not tasting the STICK

headpat seeking behaviour

I really hope attenborough just keeps going, I hope he hits 200 but everyone is too nervous to like bring it up or study him or whatever cuz it's david attenborough

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

I should start hornyposting in linkedin format

she let me hit cause i could. like that little engine

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs