not white

i need to take care of you in a way that threatens your autonomy and makes you question if you can ever function without me again.

brunette shawty with the bug eyes I would blow my head clean off if u told me to

Blue & Yellow Paint

please be perverted about me in these trying times

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare

If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables

isnt it really cool how your memories can just physically attack you at random

There’s a cool trick you can do where you pour a shot and then add an expired antidepressant to it and it gets you super fucked up so you can save money when you go out for the night. In other news I just discovered that if you ask any man at a goth rave if you can bite him he will say yes. He thinks he’s getting laid but you can just bite him super hard and walk away. Life is full of beautiful moments

cmon bro just one pdf cant hurt. no one gets addicted after one pdf lmao it's totally fine bro

How are my sweetie pees

and, look, I’m not complaining, not at all, but this is why it’s very important to be abundantly clear and specific with your Etsy witch.

Sniffs you with my proboscis

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP