parasocial relationship up the wazoo in this bitch

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@tautittology
parasocial relationship up the wazoo in this bitch

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It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.
to this day "who is allowed to be angry" has been an incredible benchmark for teasing out who, in abusive situations with mutual accusations and DARVO happening, is being abusive and who is being abused. one of my favorite resources about this, the Creative Interventions Toolkit, phrases the question "who sets the weather?" in the relationship and I think about it so so often when I think about my own childhood. I was parentified in a way that set me up for future abusive relationships, because I had to soothe my parents' anger while not being allowed to feel angry myself. I am extremely grateful to everyone outside myself - friends, therapists, partners - who's gotten angry on my behalf about how I'm treated or let me know something I'd been excusing or blaming myself for was actually Not Okay. I guess the good news here is that it's possible to learn how to access anger again in a healthy way, it just takes support, like doing physical therapy for a muscle that didn't develop quite right.
I relate so strongly to this.
This is not to say that feeling anger is abusive; it's human to feel anger. But if you've ever felt like your anger was "unjustified" or were afraid to express it outwardly because you expected it to be dismissed ... ask yourself how you would react if the roles were reversed. I find that a lot of folks who were The Grown Up in a relationship with their parents hold themselves to much different standards than they hold other people.
I've seen plenty of situations that involve two or more people hurting each other and not admitting any fault because they want to protect their own egos. But. Notice when you think you're not entitled to be upset about something. When someone tells you you shouldn't be upset. There's a difference between taking your anger out on other people and just. Being allowed to feel angry.
YES its a knife in my pocket, AND im happy to see you. both can be true.
London mutuals what is there to do thatβs cheap and not alcohol based?
bongs at croydon
thereβs a bloke at clappham common who will suck your dick for Β£4.50 hell even play with your balls for an extra quid
I have 0 desire to meet you let alone give you money
Β£3.50?

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idk i would personally rather give up access to certain products seasonally or locally than have people enslaved to give me the ability to have any product any place any time. i think i can go without tomatoes in january.
bilbo
Well. They yassified Carrie White:
https://ew.com/carrie-tv-series-first-look-mike-flanagan-modern-twist-exclusive-12015053
Like..........
She's not even naked or bleeding, the fuck are these girls even recording???
Half of them are showing less skin than she is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fucking:
It's the same picture. What are we doing here.
Just make an original story and gooooooooooo. Carrie snaps after years of bullying, because as a kid she started preaching the gospel at the lunch room and they laughed at her. She was ALREADY a long standing target when the story opens. And also, her main bully was at home, but suddenly the iconically unhinged Mrs White is. Not abusive?
WHY MAKE CARRIE THEN. AT ALL

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see this is exactly what I'm talking about. this labour is so incredibly invisibilised that there are real human beings, walking about amongst us, leading normal lives, etc., who earnestly believe that machines can make an item of clothing from start to finish.
Hey just in case someone on here doesnβt quite understand how labor intensive making a garment is, here is a list of things that (to the best of my knowledge) cannot be done by machine alone, from a costumer/tailor in training
Cutting - in my opinion, the most labor intensive part of the process. The amount of time/effort needed varies depending on the pattern and if seam allowance is included or marked separately, but no matter what this process can not be done by machine. Each and every panel and piece of fabric that goes into a garment must be cut by hand by a person.
Pinning/clipping - pinning (or clipping) is the stage at which you align the pieces you are going to be stitching together and hold them together with β you guessed it! β either pins or clips. This can not be done by machine.
Stitching - the actual sewing. This can be done by a sewing machine, but that machine still needs to be operated by a human being.
Ironing/pressing - two words that mean the same thing. The iron itself is a machine, but once again, it needs to be operated by a human being.
Finishing - depending on the technique you use, there are certain finishing techniques that can only be done by hand. But, letβs assume weβre talking about fast fashion, which is usually just finished with a simple overlock/serger. Once again: these machines need to be operated by people.
These are just the basic steps to making a garment, and donβt include textile arts that I am not as knowledgeable about, such as weaving, knitting, and crochet. Also, it is important to note that there are a lot of things that can only be done by hand, such as certain stitches and decorative techniques.
Also, the machinery being operated in textile factories is not equivalent to a domestic sewing machine. Weβre talking about one of these guys:
See that gray cylinder under the table, behind the knee pedal? Thatβs the motor. These machines can sew through your fingers bones and all and not even stop. The people in these factories and sweatshops are operating heavy machinery, and are subject to all the risk that comes with that in addition to all of the work I mentioned above.
Please respect textile workers and continue the fight to eliminate the use of sweatshops and exploited labor in the fashion industry!
Reblogging with some additions from a different post o'mine:
" I'm taking a sewing class and I asked my teacher about how much machines can actually do. She said that while a lot of actual fabric we use in our projects is machine-woven, and sometimes there are machines for particular knitting patterns or for the same small thing over and over and over (i.e. socks), the overwhelming majority of pieces of clothing are in fact just sewn together by humans. Usually women. Underpaid and overlooked. Thousands and thousands of them, working 12 hours a day or more in huge warehouse-factories. You're probably wearing something one of those women created right now.
Most of the students (including me) were horrified. We had *no* idea. We figured that, given that we have supercomputers and massive industrial systems for almost every type of product you can buy, surely we would have figured out a better way? Surely there are machines that can put a t-shirt together by now?
She said, no, that's why fast fashion is really so bad. It's not simply about the quality of the product, it's about the human cost.
When you buy a cheap tee that says "Made in Bangladesh", this is where your clothing came from (and these are from one of the nicer factories):
(By Fahad Faisal. CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=89582692)
Don't want to believe it? I understand. Here is the wikipedia page, you can read it in your own time https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Textile_industry_in_Bangladesh#Readymade_garment_(RMG)_industry
This isn't just true of clothes either. There's an astonishing amount of human labor behind most of our products. Even the steps that are automated are only possible because humans are constantly cleaning, maintaining, repairing, adjusting and fine tuning the machines.
I've noticed that the media that educates us often edits that out on purpose. In 'how its made' type videos, steps humans do by hand are often skipped because they don't make as smooth a video as watching machines do the parts of the production process that can be automated.
what the fuck
ohhhh you elfsturbating π§π²
"let's talk exclusively about crimes in which the suspect is black" was literally what bill o'reilly was doing on fox news when i was in elementary school 20+ years ago, and it was as tired and obvious then as it was back when the nazis were doing it about jews in the 30s, and now trans-men's-rights activists on tumblr are announcing "hey, anyone who would like to describe real or imagined sex crimes exclusively by trans women please form a line for the hate megaphone" like they think they just came up with something new
aw, you poor little guy, did the "women YOU'RE allowed to abuse" start talking to each other? you had to put them back in their place? eat shit & die
what are three thousand things you associate with me

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I can't believe I only just realized John Waters was in a Simpsons episode lol
He was also in an SVU episode
Coolest friend i have got a lame ass boyfriend and im sorry i cannot let his presence be normalised you make 1 exception for footy and now the straight man is at every drink πͺπͺπͺ