I don’t care when my tumblr posts flop. My clout awaits me in the Kingdom of Heaven.

#what the fuck happened here

the humble geiger counter as i walk through the cherobyl exclusion zone

geiger counter (furry model)

as part of their ongoing boycott, Canada will no longer provide the US with totally real long-distance girlfriends who definitely exist

It’s so funny how like. Spock is queer bc of the subtext, the Otherness inextricable from his character, meanwhile William Shatner was handed the straightest man of all time on paper and fumbled the bag bc he couldn’t stop giving Leonard Nimoy fuck-me eyes and now he lives in a bi Kirk hell of his own devising, forever enduring the conshatquences of his shactions

the time is now

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog

How you gonna do us like that bruh???

ITS BACK

i guess this is the long post all the gays are collectively reblogging today huh

Idk how to work it on mobile which makes me sad

The one time the internet is expected to make dicks, the internet immediately makes everything except dicks.

i think we should all be hairy and sweaty and beautiful

whenever one of my posts is tagged #fave or whatever i like to take a look around in there, check the curation and all that, see how prestigious the club i've been inducted into is

idk how people whistle loud as fuck with their fingers in their mouth because my whistle is little + frail + delicate and every time i try to exploratorily figure it out myself i fail and just end up looking like i'm giving somebody the worst most amelia bedelia type hand blowjob of their life

“like i'm giving somebody the worst most amelia bedelia type hand blowjob of their life” what does this mean?

“our age of bronze is collapsing” is this beautiful random burst of monty python dialogue amidst the drudgery of nolan’s vision and i think it should win the first-ever oscar for best solitary line

[wringing my hands as i look out my window directly overlooking wall street, watching the sun rise on october 29, 1929] aw fuck it’s the great depression

paul mccartney

look idk how you got that photo of me but im a very private person and id just. id really rather not have that on the internet.

i need you

if it wasn’t for some kind of brain disease, we would all have forgotten this punchline. everyone say thank you some kind of brain disease