Spooky Pervert

woke deadbeat father: i'm just going to get some oat milk

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

Does anyone else ever have a sort of phantom physical sense when there's something ready to paste in the clipboard. It feels like I've got something in my right hand and when I click ctrl-v I put it down.

I love people who are cis+. The ones who took the time to think about gender and decided they liked the one they were given. They project good gender vibes even if they aren't trans.

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

i’ve invented a new microwave its called microwave 2. it randomly makes your food colder 9% of the time. don’t worry i’ve already entered your home and replaced your old microwave with it. im very good at technology

this is about google’s ai overview

gonna be real i thought this was just about normal microwaves

for lust

(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile

Sci-fi short stories are so efficient; they take 15 minutes to read and then you think about them for the next 5 years

Hey guys, what if *puts the most horrifying mindblowing concept into your head with about 15 pages*

desired you while the women flee

everytime i see this it makes me want to buy from them exclusively

english major macklemore: i read your granddad’s prose

therapist macklemore: i hear your granddad’s woes

coffee enthusiast macklemore: i drink your granddad’s joes

body mod shop owner macklemore: i pierce your granddad’s nose

pizza chef macklemore: i knead your granddad’s doughs

television network executive macklemore: i make your granddad’s shows

wildlife rehabilitator macklemore: i feed your granddad’s crows

blanket maker macklemore: i knit your granddad’s throws

sir mackle the more, knight of the great kingdom of seattle: i slay your granddad’s foes

rapper macklemore: i spit your granddad’s flows

NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE REBLOGGED THIS WITH AN ADDITION INCLUDING “TOES”: 7

Shoutout to the nun who had other nuns tie her up and pour hot wax on her as she confessed her sins