Spooky Pervert

literally nothing is funnier than sphynx airplane ears

Turning the cuck chair around backwards to show I'm not like your other, boring cuckolds

*youth pastor voice* you know who else got nailed while all his friends watched? that's right,

all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success

i’m really sorry about my behavior. you see, growing up, my family- *remembers blaming all my problems on other people is really annoying and unhealthy* i mean. i am responsible for all the evils of this world and i bear sins like the sky bears the stars

Trying to join a big Discord server when you're not really that familiar with Discord servers somehow manages to combine the social anxiety of trying to make new friends or ordering at a fancy new coffeeshop for the first time with the general chaos and technical barriers to entry of an MMO. I shuffle up to the counter and go "Um, hey, can I get---" only for someone named ☽ 𝓖𝓸𝓫𝓵𝓲𝓷 𝓕𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓻 ☾ [👑 Mod] [👺 Dark Wizard] [♣︎ BUNT] [🔮 Pengis Time 2022] • he/him to manifest in a cloud of bisexual coloured animated lightning, turning me instantly to dust and then announcing to the shop at large "Hey guys, please remember to read the #2026-updated-rules-terms-and-conditions and choose your role before you speak, also remember that ordering should go in #ordering-drinks, #ordering-cakes, or #ordering-a-cake-and-a-drink, unless you're 🔉just-using-the-bathroom. Thanks"

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

JESUS CHRIST

This applies to so many things! Your first two inches of knitting/crocheting look like fuck-all. Your pile of fabric pieces look like fuck-all. Your first two paragraphs look like fuck-all. Your first nursing class looks like-fuck all. Keep doing the thing until you finish the thing!

i could smell your boytoy coming from down the road. Wretched little rotted morsel of a thing, may he fall to time and become carrion

i could smell your boytoy coming from down the road. Wretched little rotted morsel of a thing, may he fall to time and become carrion

slow burn where they're already having sex. such a beautiful combination i cannot put it into words