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Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic
They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.
It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.
Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.
I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.
Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.
When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!
Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.
Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.
A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other.
OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3
A-17: No. Stop.
The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.
"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.
When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.
What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.
OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you
A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife.
OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious.
A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.
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Any blessed facts about tarantulas to help cure my boyfriend's arachnophobia?
the columbian lesserblack tarantula is a fuckoff huge arachnid about 8 inches wide that feeds on a wide variety of both invertebrates and small vertebrates unlucky enough to have a giant fucking spider get the drop on them!
the lesserblack tarantulas spend most of their non-murder time constructing and hanging around in a set of underground burrows, where the female tarantulas hide and tend to their eggs. but what's really interesting is just who's sharing these burrows with them!
that's right! IT'S TIME FOR FROGGE.
the dotted humming frog is a teeny weeny amphibian that spends most of its life scuttling around in the dirt looking for bugs to eat, and a surprising number of them take up residence in occupied lesserblack territory!
this arrangement is by mutual consent- the tiny frog keeps the tunnels clear of any roaming ants or other insects that might like to snack on some giant spider eggs, and the lesserblack tarantula:
a) does not eat the dotted humming frog
b) provides shelter and safety from non-tarantula frog predators (a surprising amount of animals that would cheerfully eat a tiny inch-long frog are become a LOT less cheerful at the prospect of confronting an 8-inch wide tarantula. who knew, right?!)
and c) provides free frog food in the form of unwary egg-hungry tiny insects!
the frog thanks the tarantula by keeping the place clean and also not snacking on any baby tarantulas that happen to be present, so this arrangement seems to work just fine for both animals.
no word on if the spiders pet the frogs when the scientists aren't looking, though.
also it is with a heavy heart that i must inform you that tumblr isnt inherently better than twitter and having the ability to use More Words has not done anything in the past to give people on this hellsite any reading comprehension. we’re just lucky 😔
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basically references i made for myself so i can keep track of the style i chose for each of them and for the sake of consistency! nothing more, nothing less!
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