The Vampire Authoress @thevampireauthoress - Tumblr Blog

my-gender-is

My gender is Homosexula

theprideful-deactivated20251201

windsing5

And they’re all Vlad

no-one-offical

‎

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sometiktoksarevalid

jehovahhthickness

Praying that $1500 randomly comes to you when you need it the most this year.

jehovahhthickness

Okay inflation is crazy.

We bumping up the price to $15,000 for 2026.

lakevida

on it boss

zanmor

step 1: mitosis

stephanisoejono

happy new year -------------_--------------------

calamity-aims

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lliveonthesunn

i get why people don't believe in marriage as a social construct but legally it is the best and easiest way to say "this is who i trust to take care of me when i can't take care of myself" and i'm so glad gay people fought for that right bc when shit gets scary at least i know im in good hands

darlingofdots

This is how I convinced my conservative grandma that the gays do also need marriage, actually. My grandad died when I was 4 and I asked her to imagine not being allowed to see him or make decisions for him or be entitled to an inheritance and she got very quiet and conceded the point. Marriage doesn't intrinsically mean anything but as a legal framework it is really, really important

hollow-toy

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

darkcomedies

a lot of rpf can be explained by the fact that actors are all like that with each other constantly but i never want to say that on here because it feels like telling a 7-year-old santa isn’t real

darkcomedies

actors hanging off of each other constantly isn’t a sign that they’re fucking it’s a sign that they were once in a BFA program and never relearned normal boundaries. when actors are fucking and it’s complicated they won’t even stand in the same room with each other.

#I was going to say actually actors are normal and other people are weirdly touch averse but then I Remembered #my experience as the child of actors and who grew up in the theatre and did some kind of performing art until I was 18 is NOT UNIVERSAL #and has also deeply impacted the way I interact with humans #I am part of the demographic being described... sort of

8bitatari

shoutout sanitary workers, janitors, and likewise cleaning jobs. you're stronger than me being able to stomach the things i wouldn't. while still being able to make everywhere a cleaner and safer space for everyone

cartoon-fanaticism

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

wassuppeas

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baddywronglegs

I've asked this question before and been surprised by the results, now I have access to more weirdos it's your problem:

It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You have nothing on, and aren't expecting visitors, deliveries or post.

Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.

Which of these would surprise you more to find on the doorstep?

Fairy

Walrus

Voting ended onFeb 26, 2024

baddywronglegs

Not naming options to skew votes but...

I think there's something fundamentally baffling with the way most of you think.

formlesschromatic

troacctid

Happy birthday to this iconic poll

unyieldingsilence

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tumblerculosis

I’ve been obsessed with this tiktok for days now

coffeedcait

Person: "Hello sir." he pets the frog with one finger.

Person: "Have a good day. Actually wait a minute. You missed a bug, but I got you home boy. Hold on." he picks a bug up and throws it next to the frog.

Frog: turns around and eats the bug.

Person: "OHHHHH-" sings high pitched and angelic like he witnessed a miracle.

bitchfitch

I need to draw men being obnoxious to their partners and getting In The Way right now immediately.

bitchfitch

it is it's nature to Be In The Way.

ecurps

Just... Pick them up??? Grab a blanket, wrap 'em up, then move them out of the way.

bitchfitch

the consequences of doing that:

bitchfitch

just needed to make a conclusion to this

bitchfitch

tbh this post is Just for the it/its crowd now. keep shining.

(but for real it makes me happy other it/its folks are getting a lil joy out of an it/its character like. casually existing and having a fun gender.)

bitchfitch

I get asked this a lot surprisingly

bitchfitch

unyieldingsilence

‎

#as a fellow it/its user :3 yay ❤️

majordemonblockpartyy

honestly, having flexibility in your headcanons is such an important skill to develop as a fandom participant. like, it's great to have strong opinions of your own, but don't you want to hear what strong opinions others hold? I love being compelled by a passionate argument! go off! tell me something I don't assume! give me the tea that's not inherent to my watching!

pixelartpeach

E—m—d—a—s—h—N—e—c—k—l—a—c—e

pixelartpeach

Y—o—u—P—e—o—p—l—e—W—i—l—l—R—e—b—l—o—g—A—n—y—t—h—i—n—g

seven-oh-four

needs an em-dash at the beginning and/or end, otherwise the first or last letters will be right next to each other

pixelartpeach

϶—O—h—T—r—u—e—ϵ

(added clasps)

pancake-blogging

϶—F—r—i—e—n—d—s—h—i—p—B—r—a—c—e—l—e—t—ϵ

too-many-blorbos

϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ

bees-official

Cursed amulet necklace that doesnt have a cursed amulet its just the phrase cursed amulet

sentientballofpeas

϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—(¤)—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ

pixelartpeach

϶—T÷h÷a÷t÷s÷A÷G÷o÷o—d—P o

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⠀⠀⠀⠀M⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Y

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀B⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀EA

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀D

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is-this-post-edible

This post is… EDIBLE?

pixelartpeach

EATING MY BEADS???

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batsandboba

⚠️ ROAD WORK AHEAD ⚠️

| || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | | || |

________________ SPEEDING FINES DOUBLED WHEN WORKERS PRESENT —————————

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⚠️ ROAD WORK 500FT ⚠️

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🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

🚚 🚚 🔩 웃 🧰 🕳️ 🪚웃 웃📋 웃 웃 🛠️ 🔨웃 🏗️ 🕳️ 웃 웃 🔧 🚚 🔩 🔩 🔩

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

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⚠️ END ROAD WORK ⚠️

rambler-of-procrastination

how does this only have 1400 notes

thebadevil

end road work? aw fuck i hope this car flies

here

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krystal-prisms

Someone add do you love the color of the sky

liquid-geodes

Someone do NOT do that, I’ll kill you with my flying car

yupokaysuremhm

I don’t have the original but I have this. Kill me.

kennyswurvegurl

I’m going to hurt all of you

supreme-leader-stoat

beardedmrbean

Waluigi was a nice touch.

lespoopypodle

We tf was the hat

positivelyapunovexponent-good

@linearmoss

oysters-aint-for-me

there’s a used bookstore in rural western massachusetts (the montague book mill) whose motto is “books you don’t need in a place you can’t find” and i just feel like that summarizes tumblr too

oysters-aint-for-me

posts you don’t need on a site you can’t search

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