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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
DEAR READER
we're not kids anymore.

I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@everydayconman

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The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…
Truest thing ever unfortunately
extremely funny when students get really into some harmless "vintage" activity to the point of absurdity. right now it's hacky sack, which is not something i ever thought i would see my students playing en masse. and yet here they are organizing competitive hacky sack teams. taking over any space they can to kick a hacky sack around. i had to chase a group to morning assembly today because they were busy playing hacky sack. just saw one of my students sending an email that said "stop adding randos to our team they're the worst sackers." 2026 year of the hacky sack ig
apparently stores are running out of hacky sacks. their voracity for hacky sack is outpacing the supply chain. beautiful hacky sack world
Ahhh, it's the Great Yo-Yo Shortage of 1997 all over again

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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A+ weird little dude, but I'm equally fascinated by the choice of music.
*unmutes*
he's quoting hamilton pre-hamilton
devestating news for you
Spin the wheel. Now, imagine you're on a first date with someone who says they`re a [result]. How does this affect the odds of a second date?
100% guarantee I'll want a second date
It's significantly more likely
The odds don't change
It's significantly less likely
There wont be a second date. Absolutely not
Picker Wheel is a wheel spinner for a random picker. Various functions & customization. Enter choices or names, spin the wheel to decide a r
(anon submission)
queer people on this site really make me feel like a confused straight guy at pride. the discourse here could kill a man
"why polyamorous people aren't valid" "mspec lesbians AREN'T okay actually" "aroallos are freaks" "he/him dni. cis men dni" "this post is for non-men only" yessss and the one with long hair goes in the girl box, then the one with short hair goes in the boy box!!
maybe I'm just a boring he/him white guy but inventing about 7 trillion terms to define "man" and "woman" so you can reinforce gender essentialism isn't very "love is love" of you. maybe i just don't have a sexuality but picking and choosing what sexualities are normal and which ones are "weird and predatory" sounds like we're all a bunch of republicans on fox news. if you attend your local pride parade and look REAAALLLYYY closely, you'll notice you can't actually tell if someone's gay or not from their appearance, and there's no way to know if they're "invading queer spaces". maybe it's just me, but when i attended my local gaybar last night for the drag show, they didn't ask for my gay-card with a peer reviewed diagnosis of faggot stamped on it. they just let me in the building. i live a life of bliss and luxury in not caring about any queer discourse ever, and just going "WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY :-)" while booting up the latest cod game. and it seems much more fun than whatever the fuck you people are on about
muting my notifs for this post but i need to acknowledge this first. My favorite tags fr 🙏
(◡‿◡✿)
(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”
(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”
✿\(。-_-。) “Kick his ass, baby. I got yo flower.”
Fun fact
After my response, O.P. said “YOU RUINED MY POST” and that’s the one reblog I wish I could find

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let's reintroduce "rude" to the lexicon no that person is not evil or morally bankrupt or even your enemy they're just being rude
this “bon appetit” meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does “bon appetit” sound like “osteoporosis”
i don’t know but it’s cracking me up every time i even think about it
bon appetit -> bone apple teeth -> bone ??? ??? -> osteoporosis
this has layers, man
The "B" is *not* for "buses"
Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)
Nice racist joke dude! I couldn’t help but notice that your real political goals align with that though

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anyone else farting like crazy recently
Is the government secretly adding more gas and bloating to all food products
Yes
No
Big fart is putting milk in the hot dogs
the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving
and what's the genital situation on the shadows
oh this is my post