14 years ago when I had recently moved to Alaska, I went hiking with an Aleut friend, and she pointed to a feather lying on the ground and said "hey that's a bald eagle tail feather, you should grab it!" and I was like "uhh I'm very white and that's very illegal" and she went "they're fuckin everywhere up here man. I have 20." so she grabs it off the ground and hands it to me and says "there, now it's a ceremonial gift from an indigenous person."

and I'm like, okay, cool, I guess this is how we do things in Alaska. nice.

so I keep this bald eagle tail feather around for years. display it in my home among other cherished memorabilia from places I've lived and visited, etc.

on a whim, I have just now looked it up. there is no exemption to that law for a ceremonial gift from an indigenous person. the last 7 years I lived in the US, I was technically a bald eagle poacher.

the law against 'picking feathers up off the ground' means that you can't go shoot an eagle then sell the feathers on etsy by saying you 'just found them'. you can't own them no matter where they came from, which makes sure that they're not going to come from any birds killed and then secretly disposed of.

Edit: And here's a 5 minute video from the same exhibition.

Open a bank account or get a credit card without signed permission from her father or hr husband.

Serve on a jury - because it might inconvenience the family not to have the woman at home being her husband’s helpmate.

Obtain any form of birth control without her husband’s permission. You had to be married, and your hub and had to agree to postpone having children.

Get an Ivy League education. Ivy League schools were men’s colleges ntil the 70′s and 80′s. When they opened their doors to women it was agree that women went there for their MRS. Degee.

Experience equality in the workplace: Kennedy’s Commission on the Status of Women produced a report in 1963 that revealed, among other things, that women earned 59 cents for every dollar that men earned and were kept out of the more lucrative professional positions.

Keep her job if she was pregnant.Until the Pregnancy Discrimination Act in 1978, women were regularly fired from their workplace for being pregnant.

Refuse to have sex with her husband.The mid 70s saw most states recognize marital rape and in 1993 it became criminalized in all 50 states. Nevertheless, marital rape is still often treated differently to other forms of rape in some states even today.

Get a divorce with some degree of ease.Before the No Fault Divorce law in 1969, spouses had to show the faults of the other party, such as adultery, and could easily be overturned by recrimination.

Have a legal abortion in most states.The Roe v. Wade case in 1973 protected a woman’s right to abortion until viability.

Take legal action against workplace sexual harassment. According to The Week, the first time a court recognized office sexual harassment as grounds for legal action was in 1977.

Play college sports Title IX of the  Education Amendments of protects people from discrimination  based on sex in education programs or activities that receive Federal financial  assistance It was nt until this statute that colleges had teams for women’s sports

Apply for men’s Jobs   The EEOC rules that sex-segregated help wanted ads in newspapers are illegal.  This ruling is upheld in 1973 by the Supreme Court, opening the way for women to apply for higher-paying jobs hitherto open only to men.

Did you go to a good college? Shame on you, you took a college placement that could have gone to a man who deserves and needs it to support or prepare for his wife & children. But if you really must attend college, well, some men like that, you can still get married if you focus on finding the right man.

Got a job? Why? A man could be doing that job. You should be at home caring for a family. You shouldn’t be taking that job away from a man who needs it (see college, above). You definitely don’t have a career – you’ll be pregnant and raising children soon, so no need to worry about promoting you.

This shit was within living memory.  I’M A MILLENIAL and my mother was in the second class that allowed women at an Ivy League school. Men who are alive today either personally remember shit like this or have parents/family who have raised them into thinking this was the way America functioned back in the blissful Good Old Days. There are literally dudes in the GOP old enough to remember when it was like this and yearn for those days to return.

When I graduated and was going to get married I wanted to go on birth control pills. You needed to be on them for a least one cycle before they were effective. I won’t go into what hoops I had to jump through to get a prescription from my Dr. (a man, natch) but when i went to the drug store to get the prescription filled I ended up having to get my future husband to “accompany” me so the pharmacist “interview” him and see if it was okay with him for me to be on the pill.

Even when we went to get a marriage license I had to get my Father’s signature and we had to go before a Judge because I was not yet 21 (I was 20 and 9 months).

This is what they mean, when they say “Old-fashioned values”

But then I realized I actually do want to add something. This was written nine years ago. In the 9 years that have come to pass the white nationalist Christian fascism ultra right agenda of misogyny has had many victories.

The only sports I was offered were ballet, tap, and gymnastics, all of which saw me getting bullied and discouraged by the teacher herself, because I was tall and going through puberty early, which made me bigger and curvier and hairier than the other girls. I was “never going to be any good” because I was “too big”.

Boys, on the other hand, did not get encouraged or taught how to do laundry, cook, or otherwise take care of themselves. Boys didn’t get support or permission to cry or “show weakness” i.e. gentleness and vulnerability. Boys didn’t get punished for violence. Boys didn’t get offered dance or gymnastics or anything girls were offered because it was “for girls”. Many grew up acting like their fathers, who were born in the 1950s and 60s.

Home Ec classes were sexist; but instead of making them required for everyone, they were simply shuttered. No one learned those vital skills now. Same with shop class.

We need feminism because we need to raise everyone the same way. Everyone needs to learn the same things. Boys need to learn it’s okay to cry, wear colours, be gentle, cook, have and want a nice clean house, nurture children and friends, and regulate their emotions.

In my observation and in my life experience, I have seen the vital need that feminism address that while empowering girls toward things is good, we also need to stop neglecting what boys need, and stop neglecting the things historically assigned to girls as universally bad. That’s sexist. Parenting has made strides in this regard; but there’s more to being an adult than raising children–for every gender. I think it far more vital to instill in people that learning to take care of yourself and your home is gender-neutral, that learning to repair and build is gender-neutral, that learning to socialise collaboratively rather than competitively is gender-neutral.

Feminists spent a lot of energy telling me I was supposed to want a college-degree-requiring career and leadership; and that’s all well and good, but if boys are taught to want a college-degree-requiring career and leadership and girls are taught to want a career and leadership, who is doing the laundry and the dishes? Who is doing the trades?

The answer to that first one, in my peers and I at least, was that tasks for taking care of yourself and your home were a punishment. That raises miserable adults that have unhealthily dirty homes and struggle to care for themselves, because they associate doing so with punishment. And they treat jobs (and often the people who do them) that clean and cook with contempt, and refuse to do them.

The answer to the second is, well, nobody! There’s a MASSIVE dearth of people going into the trades now, because millenials and Gen Z were not told trade school was an option. Lots of us–me included–would have benefitted from trade school! Lots of us, as with all generations, are better at trades than the college stuff! Yes, especially girls! Feminism means letting girls be good at the trades!

I am grateful every day for what feminism has achieved and I am angry at those trying to undo it; but I also think we need to stop ignoring what the patriarchy takes away from boys; and stop condemning “girl” things like sewing, cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, emotional regulation, social skills, etc. I also think the trades crisis does have something to do with feminism, in that feminism was so focussed on disproving “girls can’t do higher education” that it kind of didn’t leave room for girls who–not because they’re girls but because some people just aren’t–truly aren’t good at university subjects and are VERY good with their hands and with the skills and knowledge required in the trades! That is not a step down, that is not “for stupid kids”, the trades RUN the world, and being good with your hands and with hands-on knowledge is not stupidity, that is just a different kind of knowledge.

I know the patriarchy keeps trying to endlessly fight on the most basic shit imaginable and it’s exhausting to keep having the same conversation over and over, but I think it’s important that we talk about all the other issues. I think it’s unfair to burden girls and women with literally everything we have been burdening them with AND everything we burden men and boys with, while letting men and boys continue carrying their burden alone and telling them it isn’t a burden and not acknowledging the calibre of disaster it has been to ignore the issues sexism inflicts on them all this time. “Don’t centre men” has become “don’t talk to or about men at all” and it has been catastrophic.

So what is my proposed solution?

Teaching people competition from birth is, I think, one of the root problems never addressed. We raise adults that MUST win every conversation, must win every social interaction, and only have “win” as their political goal for whatever group they put themselves in. You can’t have equality when your values are to win, to be on top, to be the best.

We have to teach collaboration from birth. That requires massively restructuring education and child-rearing. Luckily, someone did all the work for us a long time ago, and gave us a blueprint.

Her name was Dr Maria Montessori.

Open a bank account or get a credit card without signed permission from her father or hr husband.

Serve on a jury - because it might inconvenience the family not to have the woman at home being her husband’s helpmate.

Obtain any form of birth control without her husband’s permission. You had to be married, and your hub and had to agree to postpone having children.

Get an Ivy League education. Ivy League schools were men’s colleges ntil the 70′s and 80′s. When they opened their doors to women it was agree that women went there for their MRS. Degee.

Experience equality in the workplace: Kennedy’s Commission on the Status of Women produced a report in 1963 that revealed, among other things, that women earned 59 cents for every dollar that men earned and were kept out of the more lucrative professional positions.

Keep her job if she was pregnant.Until the Pregnancy Discrimination Act in 1978, women were regularly fired from their workplace for being pregnant.

Refuse to have sex with her husband.The mid 70s saw most states recognize marital rape and in 1993 it became criminalized in all 50 states. Nevertheless, marital rape is still often treated differently to other forms of rape in some states even today.

Get a divorce with some degree of ease.Before the No Fault Divorce law in 1969, spouses had to show the faults of the other party, such as adultery, and could easily be overturned by recrimination.

Have a legal abortion in most states.The Roe v. Wade case in 1973 protected a woman’s right to abortion until viability.

Take legal action against workplace sexual harassment. According to The Week, the first time a court recognized office sexual harassment as grounds for legal action was in 1977.

Play college sports Title IX of the  Education Amendments of protects people from discrimination  based on sex in education programs or activities that receive Federal financial  assistance It was nt until this statute that colleges had teams for women’s sports

Apply for men’s Jobs   The EEOC rules that sex-segregated help wanted ads in newspapers are illegal.  This ruling is upheld in 1973 by the Supreme Court, opening the way for women to apply for higher-paying jobs hitherto open only to men.

Did you go to a good college? Shame on you, you took a college placement that could have gone to a man who deserves and needs it to support or prepare for his wife & children. But if you really must attend college, well, some men like that, you can still get married if you focus on finding the right man.

Got a job? Why? A man could be doing that job. You should be at home caring for a family. You shouldn’t be taking that job away from a man who needs it (see college, above). You definitely don’t have a career – you’ll be pregnant and raising children soon, so no need to worry about promoting you.

This shit was within living memory.  I’M A MILLENIAL and my mother was in the second class that allowed women at an Ivy League school. Men who are alive today either personally remember shit like this or have parents/family who have raised them into thinking this was the way America functioned back in the blissful Good Old Days. There are literally dudes in the GOP old enough to remember when it was like this and yearn for those days to return.

When I graduated and was going to get married I wanted to go on birth control pills. You needed to be on them for a least one cycle before they were effective. I won’t go into what hoops I had to jump through to get a prescription from my Dr. (a man, natch) but when i went to the drug store to get the prescription filled I ended up having to get my future husband to “accompany” me so the pharmacist “interview” him and see if it was okay with him for me to be on the pill.

Even when we went to get a marriage license I had to get my Father’s signature and we had to go before a Judge because I was not yet 21 (I was 20 and 9 months).

This is what they mean, when they say “Old-fashioned values”

But then I realized I actually do want to add something. This was written nine years ago. In the 9 years that have come to pass the white nationalist Christian fascism ultra right agenda of misogyny has had many victories.

The only sports I was offered were ballet, tap, and gymnastics, all of which saw me getting bullied and discouraged by the teacher herself, because I was tall and going through puberty early, which made me bigger and curvier and hairier than the other girls. I was “never going to be any good” because I was “too big”.

Boys, on the other hand, did not get encouraged or taught how to do laundry, cook, or otherwise take care of themselves. Boys didn’t get support or permission to cry or “show weakness” i.e. gentleness and vulnerability. Boys didn’t get punished for violence. Boys didn’t get offered dance or gymnastics or anything girls were offered because it was “for girls”. Many grew up acting like their fathers, who were born in the 1950s and 60s.

Home Ec classes were sexist; but instead of making them required for everyone, they were simply shuttered. No one learned those vital skills now. Same with shop class.

We need feminism because we need to raise everyone the same way. Everyone needs to learn the same things. Boys need to learn it’s okay to cry, wear colours, be gentle, cook, have and want a nice clean house, nurture children and friends, and regulate their emotions.

In my observation and in my life experience, I have seen the vital need that feminism address that while empowering girls toward things is good, we also need to stop neglecting what boys need, and stop neglecting the things historically assigned to girls as universally bad. That’s sexist. Parenting has made strides in this regard; but there’s more to being an adult than raising children–for every gender. I think it far more vital to instill in people that learning to take care of yourself and your home is gender-neutral, that learning to repair and build is gender-neutral, that learning to socialise collaboratively rather than competitively is gender-neutral.

Feminists spent a lot of energy telling me I was supposed to want a college-degree-requiring career and leadership; and that’s all well and good, but if boys are taught to want a college-degree-requiring career and leadership and girls are taught to want a career and leadership, who is doing the laundry and the dishes? Who is doing the trades?

The answer to that first one, in my peers and I at least, was that tasks for taking care of yourself and your home were a punishment. That raises miserable adults that have unhealthily dirty homes and struggle to care for themselves, because they associate doing so with punishment. And they treat jobs (and often the people who do them) that clean and cook with contempt, and refuse to do them.

The answer to the second is, well, nobody! There’s a MASSIVE dearth of people going into the trades now, because millenials and Gen Z were not told trade school was an option. Lots of us–me included–would have benefitted from trade school! Lots of us, as with all generations, are better at trades than the college stuff! Yes, especially girls! Feminism means letting girls be good at the trades!

I am grateful every day for what feminism has achieved and I am angry at those trying to undo it; but I also think we need to stop ignoring what the patriarchy takes away from boys; and stop condemning “girl” things like sewing, cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, emotional regulation, social skills, etc. I also think the trades crisis does have something to do with feminism, in that feminism was so focussed on disproving “girls can’t do higher education” that it kind of didn’t leave room for girls who–not because they’re girls but because some people just aren’t–truly aren’t good at university subjects and are VERY good with their hands and with the skills and knowledge required in the trades! That is not a step down, that is not “for stupid kids”, the trades RUN the world, and being good with your hands and with hands-on knowledge is not stupidity, that is just a different kind of knowledge.

I know the patriarchy keeps trying to endlessly fight on the most basic shit imaginable and it’s exhausting to keep having the same conversation over and over, but I think it’s important that we talk about all the other issues. I think it’s unfair to burden girls and women with literally everything we have been burdening them with AND everything we burden men and boys with, while letting men and boys continue carrying their burden alone and telling them it isn’t a burden and not acknowledging the calibre of disaster it has been to ignore the issues sexism inflicts on them all this time. “Don’t centre men” has become “don’t talk to or about men at all” and it has been catastrophic.

So what is my proposed solution?

Teaching people competition from birth is, I think, one of the root problems never addressed. We raise adults that MUST win every conversation, must win every social interaction, and only have “win” as their political goal for whatever group they put themselves in. You can’t have equality when your values are to win, to be on top, to be the best.

We have to teach collaboration from birth. That requires massively restructuring education and child-rearing. Luckily, someone did all the work for us a long time ago, and gave us a blueprint.

Her name was Dr Maria Montessori.

The stories you hear of people dying from rationing, this is what happens to their body.

Affordable insulin isn’t just a right, it’s a necessity.

I haven't spent my whole life responding to people being rude, or stupid, or dangerous with knee jerk compassion. It's a new habit. The first time I did that as the lead for my lab, it was because the guy genuinely was so good natured that I knew something had to be off. But the other two times were just me going, alright, lets see if it always goes this well, and so far, it has. I'm almost 30, and I just figured out that the #1 reason people are shitty are because they are going through shit.

I don't think you have, like, a moral obligation to respond to people being jerks with knee jerk compassion. But it has made my life so much easier the last four months that I would recommend trying. For your own sake. Please.