Recovering Lurker

Then maybe...

Maybe...

I do not use any poisons or insecticides and I actively encourage my house spiders

the result is that her home is full of poison-resistant cockroaches and nothing else, while mine is a healthy bug ecosystem of Mostly Spiders and sometimes the junebugs who like to come die in my sink. and the moths that I have to rescue from Glimmer. but no roaches!

pest control is just such a scam and it troubles me deeply how normalized it is idk. people react with revulsion when I'm like "no I just encourage the house spiders and they do a pretty good job" bc they are classing house spiders as equally bad as every other bug and that's TERRIBLE bc bugs are TERRIBLE due to they're YUCKY

rather than like. some bugs will leave you alone. some bugs want to eat you or your house. other bugs pose health and safety hazards bc they want to infest your cornflakes. a healthy crop of house spiders will prevent all of these from becoming a problem much of the time, barring extreme circumstances

i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience

For once I'm not actually doing a bit; those "any resemblance to real persons living or dead" disclaimers genuinely exist because of Rasputin.

https://wheelofnames.com/kch-gkt

this is a really really cool idea! Thanks!!!

You can't do this for a week!

So currently I answer to my full first name (which I usually introduce myself with) as well as two nicknames/diminutives plus my last name when people mistake it for a first name. There are two or three other nicknames I've also gone by in the past. I'm perfectly fine with this, or neutral at minimum-- I have a common name and have had to be flexible with how I'm distinguished for my whole life. I also don't feel a deep and fundamental connection of my name with my identity, though I think going by another name entirely would confuse me.

A number of friends have been appalled at me being called names I don't say are my name. Which is really weird to me, although I'd go to battle for anyone else who was getting either deadnamed or called something they didn't want. But this perspective seems surprisingly common!