I thought it was a good idea at the time

you may have noticed that my story is disorganized and thematically incoherent and my plot structure is weaker by the verse. this is commentary on the chaos of mortal existence under the yoke of the immortal gods

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

no worse feeling that going on some subculture fashion clothing website and seeing the size chart runs from extra small to petite to pequeño to microscopique. yeah here at DeathKillFuckShadow Fantastique Cloth Imaginations i think you’ll find that we see the world a bit difference… we have bleak brutal imaginations… what if blood and fangs were COOL… but we cannot in our most tortured imaginations picture a woman who has a stouter frame than the fucking Insulindian Phasmid

I'm sorry that highlighted part is the funniest thing I have read in my life

...wait. The post escaped containment and managed to make it's way to...no wait ok we're good.

My toxic trait is that if I find a product I like I want to keep using the same product forever. It's not even brand loyalty. It's called stop changing and discontinuing everything.

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

Depressing as shit that like scam emails and texts aren't even like "hey your the lucky winner off 1,000,000 dollors" anymore it's just "click here for a job offer" like man

"part time jobs available [shady link]" FUCK YOU

my 37 year old vampire girlfriend keeps telling me i simply don't understand the woes of immortality as if I didn't also own a VHS player or visit a blockbuster a few times as a kid

she keeps staring off into the distance saying those shit like "those as youthful as you know not what horrors lie in your past" even though we both know damn well she's talking about the 2008 financial crash

saw a comment that misspelled “kind gesture” as “kind jester” and am now imagining a beautiful world where we praise good samaritans by calling them kind jesters. good on you, you gentle fool. you’ve made the world a sweeter and sillier place.

saying this as a lesbian who loves women's boobs--sexually, even! but i don't think that we as a society should consider breasts inherently female or inherently sexual. a flat chest should not be seen as the "default" for gender neutrality but instead just one way a person can present. boobs should be normal. anyone of any gender can have boobs

i think we could reform pangaea if we all tried hard enough

if we all just got in the water and pushed