"i'm fire. i'm death." i will burn the HEART.

I love tags it’s like muttering under your breath on the internet

I'm very very glad that my knee-jerk, gut-feeling, primal-instinct reaction to seeing a Default Influencer is embarrassment. I think this saves me from a lot of bullshit.

To be clear ☝️, absolutely not gender-exclusive. Some broccoli-haired shirtless 23-year-old man on enough trenbolone to euthanize a different horse starts talking about how to be a high-value male and I start thinking instantly about how I'd have 4,000 slugs use me as a jungle-gym before I'd want this man within cootie-contagion distance of me.

Respect for my soldiers… she’s saving him… the hons…

i hate when apps know that i’m screenshotting something. when i screenshot something, that’s me acting outside your realm of understanding, app. i am beyond what you consider the observable universe. you’re not supposed to perceive me. we don’t know when god screenshots the earth. we don’t know when he’s like, “okay i’m just gonna take a pic in case i ever want to add dinosaurs back to something later and don’t remember how.” and if we did, we wouldn’t act all smug about it like, “hey, you wanna share that post? you could just click here to share it.” no, man. you didn’t catch me. i screenshotted this for my own reasons. what’s next? i can’t take a photo of my computer screen with my phone out of laziness without being shamed by the printer i don’t own?

surely there has to be another option between "churning out 20-episode seasons every year and the actors never see their family or friends and don't have time to do any other job and hate the show at this point" and "maybe you'll get 8 episodes every 2 to 4 years :)"

"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted

I love how every single Georg post observes the original's typo

i like that you said "observe" instead of "preserve," implying this has religious importance.

that’s no way to speak to a lady… cannot you see the beauty in her speckled feathers and avian features? her stance shows humility!

her humongous nature is a feature I revere greatly I reckon she's swag