Eloquent Ambiguity

Man this store has a weird playlist, it's all Weird Al songs but with the lyrics switched out for ones that aren't funny.

this post almost moved me to tears

Tag yourself, I’m spinch or rainbow sprimkle

I’m kepchup lmao

Brogle and rainbow sprimkle

This is so charming I feel punched in the solar plexus and I’m here for this sort of gentle, sweet violence.

World Heritage Post

who wanna be friends with drawbacks

friends with consequences

I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.

You don't even need to study for the Rorschach test, btw, it's super easy. All they do is show you a bunch of stupid pictures of your dad getting eaten by a horse

Do not share the answers with your classmates.

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of someone else's actions that I am directly impacted and severely affected by

you're not allowed to bring wireless devices into classified areas and a security guy noticed a square phone-ish shape in my pocket so he asked me to show him what it was and i had to show him my can of pocket herring :/

A free-range group therapy called "get herded, idiot", where you and everyone in your group is set loose to run around on an open field while a highly trained shepherd dog tries to keep you all in one group. I am not sure what benefit this would have for anyone involved.

This would fix everyone involved including the dog

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

turns out i am gay

holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type

Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!

he was a llama

a llama?! he’s supposed to be dead!