Monsanto Hate Blog

"Go Birds, Fuck ICE, Free Palestine"

every single joke and bit of physical comedy feel like they were written by a committee to test well in focus groups and the movie itself has extremely cringe centrist liberal politics yet simultaneously there is so clearly a passion for the history of these characters and hannah barbera as a whole on display here

the emotional 3rd act sacrifice of the film is a rug pull that gets undone within LITERALLY a minute and a half (I've timed it before) because the movie wanted to have its cake and eat it too but god DAMNIT I still tear up a little bit when scooby, surrounded by nothing but dust and rubble, let's out the saddest, most desperate howl I've ever heard

replacing the voice actors who have been doing this for a decade+ for a celebrity voice cast was cheap and dirty but holy shit if zach efron fred isn't one of my favorite iterations of the character

the animation is stilted and plasticky and yet dynomutt and dick dastardly have some of the most expressive 3d animation I've ever seen

the plot isn't a mystery whatsoever and is in fact just a boring superhero film and yet its a story that somehow feels perfectly at home among the wide range of wacky situations these characters have been put in over the past SIXTY YEARS

trying to start a cinematic universe and cramming all those hannah barbera characters into the movie felt shoehorned and corporate and gross and yet the VERY FIRST EPISODE of blue falcon and dynomutt all the way back in the 70s was ALSO a crossover with scooby doo, so it arguably makes perfect sense that, if you're going to start a cinematic universe, they be here from the beginning

literally the ONLY thing I can call this movie out on without having some defense for it is that it's a shaggy and scooby solo adventure for the first 2/3rds and I already have an entire OTHER post about how much those piss me off

I just can't bring myself to hate all the objectively terrible decisions that went into this movie. it's a bad movie. I cannot recommend it to anyone. no one but me gets anything out of it. I'm not joking. every single person I've shown it to has walked away genuinely feeling like I wasted their time. it's one of my favorite movies ever

it's hard to hear over fred's loud ass voice but that's literally the fucking

almost note for fucking note. including the violin horror trills at the beginning. I haven't heard someone put the do. Doo. Dooooooooooo. into a piece of Scooby Doo media since, like, what's new? maybe? I honestly don't even know

yes it's probably the most famous of the where are you motifs but even OTHER SCOOBY DOO SERIES don't go that far

perhaps too young to know about concepts like lack of humidity and scary predators, this baby Portugala inchoata was a rare case of an individual found boldly looking around instead of hiding away in its fancy looking shell. i'd like to get a closer look at the adults, but most of the time i can barely tell they're even alive