I Am.. Jus A Babey..

babygirl im gonna fuck you until you can walk #divinemiraclepenis

“I have a really vivid and cool scene in my imagination but I can’t write it well and it seems so shitty on the page” okay but nobody else knows that. Literally nobody else knows what the imagined scene looks like. They don’t know that they’re missing out. You’re the only one who could possibly even know

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i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from “the king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but god”, to “uhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourism” will never stop being extremely funny to me

the monarchs… bad. but the castles? oh, the castles are positively lush with rats… 👅

Delete this account immediately.

I love how some fics are called shit like "They Only Shoot The Birds Who Cannot Sing" and it's like the most insane porn you're ever read and then some fics are called Spit On Me and it's 18,000 words of the most achingly id-scratching prose you've ever read and they're both. They're both so fucking good. thank God for fanfiction.