l'eggo boi

this is what upstairs neighbors have

the second radish is 29 feet away

this is legitimately the funniest post on this site

i love how OP is wailing over being set on fire but manages to remember to close the door behind him when he leaves the house.

The phallomancer contemplating his orbs

[Image ID: Notification reading: (blocked out) @/ gmail.com has invited you to edit the following spreadsheet: Dibs on Mom’s Stuff (after she’s dead). Note reads: Well at least two of my children, who shale remain nameless but we all know who you are, have expressed to me that they would like to be recipients of certain of my possessions after I die. I am confident that these things are not so compelling that you are willing to send me to an early grave, or whatever the cheapest and greenest legal way to dispose of my body is, but please have some kind of mass for me because I am still Catholic. /End ID]

this is so funny

I know it’s coming and it gets me every time

you are right and you should say it.

The Wikipedia page on this is fantastic and my favorite line from it is “Flying with all engines out was never expected to occur, so it had never been covered in training.”

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

sometimes older people get annoyed when i say "no problem" instead of "you're welcome" but the truth is it's literally not a problem

and sometimes you're not welcome