Just wanted to share a funny experience (related to this blogβs subject matter, if only tangentially). Thought you might enjoy, or want to share thoughts of your own about it. Sorry for how long it became.
There was a βcurly hair dayβ at a local kindergarten my friend works at. She organised it, and sheβs white (not ethnically) with wavy hair. Iβm brown (not Black) with straight hair. Her son, star of the show, is white with a big head of 3b-3c curls.
I told her, βyou never hear of straight hair day.β I know how it sounds, my intent was not to complain thereβs not enough βstraight hair appreciationβ - I wanted to point out that we seem to emphasize curly hair as an extension of the exoticization of primarily Black features, and by highlighting their Otherness or considering them as Exceptional, it perpetuates the idea that these features arenβt the norm/standard, and that idea is one of the backbones of White Supremacy. When you separate curly hair from straight hair by talking about the former and only ever implying the latter under the assumption itβs the βdefault,β weβre in fact pushing the idea that WHITENESS is default.
I donβt think we should stop loudly appreciating features that are demonized, undermined, and erased under White Supremacy, because that, in fact, is radical and counter to the values of White Supremacy. At the same time, institutionalising the Difference of said features, posed in opposition to the Normativity of white features, is still victim to the framework (reframed but still beholden to White Supremacy). This was also a point of contention between Cesaire and Fanon, in regards to the Black Excellency movement.
I thought about this when you replied to that ask about Black hair in a survival situation, and in it you mentioned / asked about how straight hair would fare in the same situation. Because there are differences, yet straight hair doesnβt get the treatment that curly hair does, because curly hair must be EMPHASIZED, as to emphasize difference, and therein lies my problem.
Did I say all of this to her? No. She looked at me, and responded: βWell, itβs because not a lot of people have straight hair.β She paused, looking at me. βOh, sorry.β
I think that is the funniest thing that she could have said. Did I need to say all that? No. She is operating on a wavelength more radical than I can dream. I was the fool.
Yeah you woulda annoyed me saying that too π
because in your head, you know what your intent is, but if you didn't say it in a way that at least sounded like it was joking, or if I didn't know you well enough to know you knew that context, it would have just come off as a microaggression.
That said, I do wonder if she answered you deadass, thinking you were being microaggressive. You may wanna check in on that one π
