Walking Disaster

It’s like when we learned the hair-color changing spell and Professor McGonagall said “Ms. Tonks is exempt from this lesson for obvious reasons.”

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

i live for stories like these

i work with kids, one time i came back from a long shift and ended up (successfully) telling my dad to “Stop it.” in the most commanding tone i have ever heard when he was being loud at dinner. i have never felt so mortified yet so powerful.

I’m a cinematographer and I was sharing a room with a friend while we were shooting my last film and I woke him up yelling “I just don’t understand what you want from this shot”

I used to be a camp counselor and we’d have roughly 180 campers during the day every week, and I obviously couldn’t learn all their names, so I’d just call them “camper.” I’ve unfortunately done this several times to my coworkers, whose names I definitely know by now, but the worst one happened last week during a meeting when I said “HEYYYY CAMPERRRRRS” to get everyone’s attention.

everyone who reblogs this will get gordon ramsay in their inbox 

if you don’t keep your promise i swear to god

already at 70000 notes? Doubt you will follow through this far after its started.

I need

Give me my gordon ramsay my day has been bad and i need it

PLEASE

peals

Please

Please

I want a salty British man in my dms

holy cow is this real

blease

I want

Feed me the ram

I hunger for the ram

pls give meh ram

PLEASE

no way this real gib me gorbon

Yes pleAse

i want a gordon

Might I get a Gordon, please?

There’s no way they can send him to over 400,000 people

I WANT A GORDON RAMSEY IN MY INBOX PLS

THIS IS SO ADORABLE WHAT

I CAN STOP LAUGHING!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Gotta love your mates.

Take note Tumblr, actual footage of boys being boys.

God, that’s funny

she laughed so hard i think she exploded

It’s back and still beautiful!

omG

This guy spent over a year throwing eggs to his unsuspecting mum

That was not the sound i was expecting

UNMUTE THIS RIGHT NOW

@laurdlannister-kingslayer this what you want

yeah but a whole gang of em

when the bard’s playing even moves the ranger’s animal companion