I'm trying really hard

if theres one thing that really pissed me off from my 3 years of architecture i took in high school it's learning about how we used to have all these little techniques to maximize or minimize heat or warmth and now we just merrily abandoned all those to have the same copypaste style buildings everywhere that are often INCREDIBLY unoptimized to the local weather and climate so we can just throw more money at our heating and cooling bills

where i live it is hot as balls approximately 80% of the year. i do not want a massive butt-ugly grey mcmansion with a huge echoey open-concept kitchen-livingroom-foyer-diningroom-staircase that has huge windows so i can have an hvac unit the size of a barge heaving and straining to keep it at a constant 72 the grees. i want a north indian traditional style home with small windows to force the airflow to cool, decorative grates to limit the amount of sunlight, and a COURTYARD with a POND *smashes unspecified large object*

I hate learning about instances of "oh yeah we know how to do that, we just don't".

thinking all the time about a dnd campaign i played years and years ago. i wanted to play dnd for the first time but had no one to play with so i got on some reddit for people putting campaigns together and there was a DM who specifically wanted to do a campaign for exclusively first-time players bc they thought it would be exciting to introduce us all to the game. it was actually a super rigorous process to make the cut bc the DM wanted a group of adults with consistent availability who would commit to making the game a weekly priority (fair) so i filled out like an application and then met with the dm on-call to talk about potential characters and hash everything out. it ended up being an outrageously fun game and i learned as we went that most of the world, classes, etc. were homebrew and i was like the lore this DM has created is cuckoo bananas tbh like it's so deeply involved. anyway in the end the DM told us they're actually a best-selling published author and they'd always wanted to create a storyworld for an rpg. they wouldn't tell us their name and tbh they were right to tell us at the end bc if they'd told us at the beginning i'd have suspected they were full of it and lying to sound cool but after playing their game i do believe them. anyway afterward they didn't keep contact with any of us. they were like "here's a beautiful world and story thanks for coming now i'll disappear forever." who were you...............................

I just want to love and be loved. why is lunch twelve dollars now