This Is Not A Blog, It's A Sandwhich

[id: graffiti on the base of a concrete overpass where previous grafiti has been covered over with gray paint multiple times. In black all-caps handwriting, it reads: "What kind of paint are you using to paint over this? Because if it is latex, its probably way too cold for it, you want good adhesion, you need like at least 40°-45°. Maybe wait till it warms up a little, I mean what's the big rush? Like, I'm in a rush now but our situations are different" /end id]

Pussy Hair Denser than a Grill Brush

taylor swift is a superstar to you. to me she's just my insane friend who writes cool music 🫶

calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

Not "belongs to me"; "belongs with me."

"average person sees 3 spiders a year" factoid is a statistical error. Sephora Georg, who attracts 3 million horny spiders with the spider sex lotion, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

doctors will be like. yeah. there’s something so so so so wrong with you. idk what and I don’t really care

“let me get that for you” i say sexily pulling on a door that says push

“I could fix him”; “I could make him worse!” Why??????? Why all this DIY???? I just wanna stand over his shoulder and see what he can possibly fuck up next

Will never see eye-to-eye with anyone less than the people who treat their pets like wandering ronin instead of valued family members. Like oh there goes Bronson our uncollared, chipless chocolate lab out of the permanently open back door again. If he comes home in three days after subsisting on garbage we'll be mildly thrilled to see him again but if he succumbs to his natural predator, the 2006 Toyota Camry, that's just the circle of life

I'm casting meteor shower anyway, who's gonna care after it's done?