Clown By Blood. Corpse By Choice

I CLAIM THE ABUNDANCE THAT IS COMING TO ME NOW 🌈🙏💖✨ *falls asleep and dreams of a skeletal figure atop a black horse carrying iron scales*

I think it's actually essential to children's moral development to be exposed to short stories moderately beyond their reading level where a bunch of fucked up shit happens and then instead of offering a moral lesson or any sort of emotional or narrative resolution it just ends.

This is your reminder today that Irene Adler in the original Conan Doyle story is literally not a criminal. She never commits a crime.

Thinking about a vampire dude bro who won't drink girl blood- because he's afraid it will estroginise him soy products style- getting trapped in a mental cage when he learns vampire dude who only bites other dudes reads as gay

Lois buys Clark a "Not to say I'm Superman but Superman and I have never been seen together in the same room" shirt because it's the funniest thing she's ever seen and Clark wears it because it's also the funniest thing he's ever seen. They are made for each other.

Bruce Wayne once got called to jury duty and said he shouldn't be on the jury because he was Batman and had caught the guy going to trial. He couldn't lie about who he was, he was under oath! Bruce would think this was hilarious.

The author must have been eating woodland salad, candied acorns, turnip pie, plum-cakes, bilberry tarts, arrowroot shortbread, and glazed maple shoots, and drinking flagons of October ale and raspberry cordial when they wrote this