The Zing-Zang-Zepper of Dr. Pepper

you know those studies showing that cursing helps with pain tolerance or whatever. that’s how i feel about making my weird little noises to get through my basic daily activities. sometimes you just have to go hggblaaaah for a minute so you can find the strength within yourself to get up or wash the dishes or send an email. mmmnneh. urgh. the torments are unending but you can always make some little sounds about it.

creative droughts are so embarrassing yeah sorry man I forgot my shapes and colors

a dude at the gym just reached in his bag, pulled out a bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup, smiled & shook his head like that’s just something that happens to people, put it back and then pulled out a bottle of water instead

anyway. last night I had a dream that my local lesbian bar was hosting a “motionless dance party”. it was sort of like the inverse of a silent disco—the music is playing out loud but you’re doing all the dancing inside your own head. it was really successful like a lot of lesbians showed up to stand perfectly still in a room together and imagine what dancing would be like.

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

do people just not find those AI pop-ups everywhere not incredibly patronizing: "help me write" "help me visualize" help me put my balls in your mouth

"Every rose has its thorns" - wrong. Prickles

eighteen inch nails: i want to fuck you like two animals

was about to make a post saying “putting the word berry up on a shelf” in response to seeing two -berry posts in a row but then i realized how meaningless and cruel that would be for me to say

assigned baby at birth

all babies are bastards

we all got that 1 friend that brings a sadomasochistic vibe 2 the hangout

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell

🥚

Reminder that the "normal" cisgender male amount to fantasize about being a woman is never.