dinosaur scientist

money beyond ypur wildist dreams

one hundred and seventy dollars

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

Hey…. Hey… Characters covered in blood, okay? You remember characters covered in blood?? You used to love characters covered in blood

Hey, what’s Winnie the pooh’s favorite color?

Yellow

No it’s red because of his shirt

No, it’s yellow because he loves honey

You have no idea what you’re talking about

Things heating up at the Winnie the Pooh fandom

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

public proposals are so embarrassing if someone tried to propose to me in public I’d walk away

Because we’re gay and love free dessert, mostly. Grifting is my love language

"grifting is my love language" is the greatest thing I've ever heard

We’ve proposed to each other 3 times now. The first time was in a park, with just us. The second time was immediately afterwards, in a restaurant, where the family next to us bought our dinner and left without telling us that’s what they were doing, and the restaurant gave us champagne and chocolate cake. The third time, the restaurant gave us Prosecco. At least one of use legitimately cried on each occasion, so we’re giving the crowd their money’s worth. But yeah, defn grifting.

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

I've posted about this before but back home at my old job I used to get pho so fucking often that the owners of the place stopped asking me what I wanted and stopped handing me menus when I walked in. After I moved to NY and I could only go back to Chicago like once a year, I sat down and they gave me a menu and I was like "Oh no I already know what I want, can I get--" and they were like OHHH #36 WITH EXTRA NOODLES YOU'RE BACK and I almost cried

must feel so good to be soil absorbing rain

In a shit mood. Release the locusts

I've reached the point where cynicism is a major turn-off for me. You're not smarter than idealists, and you're not helping.

Funny that the stereotypical cynic is an idealist who aged out of it. In my experience, the reverse is true. I was an extreme cynic as a teenager and then I noticed how profoundly limiting it was, and also that "cynics are cool and smart" was a message that was being constantly reinforced by corporate media for some reason.

I also think that the present era has proven that authoritarian leaders don't actually want a population of wide-eyed idealists, they want a population of jaded assholes who are convinced that everyone is lying, any resistance is either a scam or doomed to failure, and nothing can ever get better.