gay nerd

Yelling “we got company” right before being attacked by a horde of enemies probably feels good as fuck for an action protagonist

the road OUT of hell is also paved with good intentions. That’s just kind of the main road we’ve got

People think hell can afford TWO roads? In this economy? You're taking the Good Intentions Highway both directions, mate.

They just invented the world’s fastest sandwich. They’re calling it the autobáhn mì

Carl is "avoids politically charged language but holds beliefs he doesn't realise are political" to a hilarious extent. He incited revolution against an empire live on TV. He planted a bomb on a political agent. He made speeches about how the rich and powerfull are assholes. Cuba? oh, he doesn't know about Cuba, he's not interested in politics.

i’m not even bad about gesticulating while driving in the sense that i flip people off (i do. sometimes) or waving my hands (i do. often) but as in like. i’m thumbs downing people. making jerk-off motions. putting an L on my forehead.

Under communism, Tuxedo Cats will be renamed to Elegant Gothic Lolita Dress Cats.

I don't want to buy mass-produced garbage from a big box store so I go to etsy but half of etsy is now dropshipped mass-produced garbage or AI slop so I go to the local arts and crafts street market but a ton of those booths are also selling the same generic plastic objects or identical stickers or 3D printed dragons so WHERE do I buy real trinkets and art from sincere freaks

Dude living downstairs has been loudly rapping for like 10 minutes, then suddenly did a high pitched scream, and now its silent down there

he got raptured

pro-tip: your blog is about you. be self-indulgent, self-absorbed, and self-possessed. go all in on your obsessions. this is a work of self-expression, a living monument to your heart.

I have a medical condition where no matter how many people are in a room I will find the one person who likes me the absolute least and become desperate for their approval

I spoke to the doctor about this and she prescribed 100mg of "stop giving a fuck about people who hate you", hiding it in a spoonful of peanut butter labeled "the people who care about you deserve more of your time"