boop

Ilya, just saying the most poetically romantic think that Shane has ever heard (think borderline romantic/possessive cliches in a russian accent) and Shane responding with "shit dude, yeah. 😍"

Egyptians continue to be hilarious

No one can see how badly I want it :)

Did you know that you can roll a condom onto someone using your mouth? Shane sure didn't until he slept with Rose. And you best believe that Ilya is absolutely torn between finding it mind-meltingly hot and being fucking furious the first time Shane pulls that shit out in bed with him because he has a pretty damn good guess where he picked that move up.

getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

when enkidu dies Gilgamesh covers his face, veiling it “like a bride”. Haha (sudden low voice through gritted teeth) the ancient Mesopotamians are running circles around us. I need you to get your ass on the field and give me your best yaoi or we can kiss these quarter finals goodbye

This is one of your worst posts yet man

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock

and he’s right

As it should be.