i'll love you until my dying day

My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

I think everyone should be doing this btw. Maybe, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," could be our, "Always."

I tried to quote this post to my housemate the other day but botched it so said "nice cock, kill yourself" and now it's turned into a call and response so instead of saying goodbye one of us says nice cock and the other tells you to kill yourself

good luggage goes in the fun bubble

Warning!! Bad cat alert! Only 50 cents for a foul creature!

No summer travel is complete without getting screwed over by Deutsche Bahn.

had some time to chat with the verizon wireless guy while my phone was getting set up and he’s a straight guy it turns out he has two moms and used to DJ for drag events. culturally LGBT

I think the "pre" and "post" parts in "preposterous" should cancel each other out but everyone else seems to find my idea completely erous

the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”

what

oh my god

well wooden shoe look at that

I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE