Douchebag Shakespeare

I can't believe people have been performing macbeth for 401 years and we still haven't run out of sick poster ideas

my uncle killed my father and married with my mother and now i must *remembers that suicide jokes do nothing for my mental health and wellbeing* put on a play

made a uquiz

here it is! it’s romeo and juliet themed lol

@indigorithmic @oceans-bluem

"romeo should have checked" girl she was a corpse. she was a corpse in a crypt. She took a magic "looking like a corpse" potion and then they buried her and then romeo found her fully 100% buried what are you TALKING about

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”. 

There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.

or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out

best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere

This is wild from start to finish

I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)

I was stage managing a production of Cinderella and during a scene with just the prince and the herald and a tall board of backdrop. The prince was sitting on the bench complaining about his problems while the herald pretended to listen and someone backstage accidentally hit the board and it started to come down, the herald jumped in front to catch it before it landed on the prince, and the prince pretended not to notice and complained about how no one ever listens to him or cares about his problems while the Herald is trying to keep the board from crushing them both. I fixed it from behind the curtain and the prince stormed off while the Herald just turned to the audience and shrugged. The audience died laughing

IT'S ME GIRL I'M THE ANGEL OF MUSIC SPEAKING TO YOU INSIDE YOUR BRAIN LISTEN TO ME GIRL LEAVE THE BOY WE DON'T NEED HIM COME WITH ME AND SING MY SONGS WE'LL HAVE MUSIC TIMES IN CAVES DO DO DO DO YEAH YOU NEED ME GIRL YOUR FREE WILL IS AN ILLUSION

shakespeare wasn't lying that tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow can creep in this petty pace from day to day

neither was Smash Mouth. the years start coming and they don't stop coming

ive realised there isnt a huge market for shakespeare shit posts

There isn’t a huge market but I’d still eat Claudio’s heart there.

Reblog if you’re the target market for Shakespeare shitposts.

ohey whats up

the most insane double casting i’ve heard of is ophelia and horatio being played by the same actress. the implications of that drive me crazy

#to this day my favorite performance of hamlet i’ve seen is one where there were two hamlets#one was the dutiful son and the other was his vengeful id#and they split all the lines in the play depending on which hamlet was speaking#all the soliloquies became arguments between the two and it was SO good#the second hamlet doesn’t appear until hamlet’s father appears and tells him Claudius is to blame for his death#he opens to curtains and his first line is ‘Murder?’#and the other characters can’t see that second hamlet at first - just the initial one#until slowly throughout the play the second hamlet is the one they look at and interact with#until finally the first hamlet - the dutiful prince - is the one who’s ignored#anyway it was metal as fuck holy shit#i wish i could watch it again but i have no idea if it was recorded (via rythyme)

was in london a week ago and i saw a globe theatre production company of macbeth doing their vocal warmups and they were standing on stage and rhythmically shouting FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! at the top of their lungs in perfect unison for thirty seconds. so thats whats going on in the globe theatre these days. just thought yall should know

Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren’t spicy???

Regular pine needles are regular

Not by rosemary standards

…Have you eaten pine needles?

We’ve been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I’ve eaten pine needles or not

I mean I’m pretty sure you have but I don’t want to assume

Of course I’ve eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best

You know, I’d love to tell you but I’m pretty unclear about what marks the difference between “spice” and “strong-tasting plant that isn’t considered a spice”

I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out

Ok but it only counts if they’re PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree

I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see

Please Don’t Do That

Needle-Like Leaf Roulette

…I’ll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.

I can try very hard not to

Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don’t have the sheath thing

It’s time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves

Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life

this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again

god fucking dammit gimme a minute

like not to act like it's 2014 but hamlet was written like a million years ago and people on here are still like "that's my friend hamlet". marveling at this and loving it

girl what the fuck is even the theme of a midsummer night’s dream. is there even a lesson to be learned. is it just vibes or what

puck at the end of the play: god did you see that shit? insane, right? haha alright take it easy