you know ;)

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

love my downward spiral :) #myspiral #descending

#descending

#descending

#descending

#descending

#descending

#descending

@shit-hdb-would-say

Harry du Bois would say this.

badminton is dont hit the fucking ground you stupid disgusting baby bird

Hockey is I’m gonna launch this peppermint patty at you and the only way to stop me is violence

curling is my two friends and i really want to put a watermelon in that exact spot, but the floor disagrees

relay racing is "here, you take this leek"

“Do you support OCs × canon characters” buddy 30% of my conscious mental activity is devoted to that very topic

developing the hots for ryan gosling because of project hail mary is so fucking embarrassing I swear to god. that is a conventionally attractive man. a noted hollywood heartthrob. he's even blond, are you kidding me? did he win people magazine's sexiest man alive? I don't know. I'm not going to check but it wouldn't surprise me at this point. it's such a mainstream taste. such a clichéd celebrity crush. like oh I fancy ryan gosling and my favourite drink is coca-cola and my favourite snack is ready salted crisps. jesus christ. 'b-b-but i only like him when he's in a science pun tshirt and playing a dorky-awkward loner type!' doesn't matter. he's still ryan 'ken from barbie' gosling. it's so trite. I feel like the weird nerd girl in a teen coming-of-age romcom falling for the super popular jock. don't I know that I have a reputation to uphold here? cringe.

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team

supermarkets should have benches

everywhere should have benches

I’ve had tumblr for 4 years but some of you bitches have had it for a decade. It’s time to seek penance

wait I’m curious now . Reblog this with how long u’ve been on tumblr for. Dating back to ur oldest blog ever !!!

when i forget to log into ao3 and i have to click proceed to see an adult fic, i actually get a kick out of it. like i am an old timey queen and my bard is apologetic: “gentle lady, dicks doth touch in this next ballad. would you prefer another?” and i give him a gesture of command like, “nay, you may proceed, minstrel. bring forth the tale of dicks”